Making it to Santa’s nice list isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. This holiday season, sign your name to the naughty one with a twirl of sequins, pasties and bright, red lipstick. Move over Nutcracker Blah-let — it’s burlesque season.

It’s a Wonderful Christmas Carol Story The Peek-A-Boo Revue reinvents itself and a slew of movie classics in this holiday spectacular that’s better than any old fishnet-stocking-covered leg lamp. The backbone of the production comes from musical director Rich “Dick Van Whailin” Hill and Kevin “Buzz Mouthpiece” Bagby’s “booze-filled collaboration,” which resulted in a new score and a more-drawn-out plot that includes all the usual “bumping, grinding and vaudevillian humor.” As assistant director Ginger Leigh explains, the storyline follows a group of innocent sisters as they transform into “sultry, but powerful dancing girls. ... There is something about seven women performing together, hitting the choreography and owning their bodies that I find incredibly exciting.” Every straight man and lesbian in our office totally just got a boner. Sat., Dec. 15, 9 p.m., $20, Trocadero, 1003 Arch St., 215-922-6888, thetroc.com, and Thu., Dec. 20, 8 p.m., $25, World Café Live at the Queen, 3500 N. Market St., Wilmington, Del., 302-994-1400, worldcafelive.com; peekaboorevue.com.

Frisky for the Holidays If Peek-A-Boo’s holiday showcase puts you in the mood for a little shimmy-shake of your own, Philly Dance Fitness is giving 30 ladies the chance to learn a sequined striptease. Instructor Deb and burlesque performer Timaree will teach participants how to dip and strip to sexed-up holiday pop tunes like Mariah Carey’s “Oh Santa!” and Chevonne’s “My Menorah,” while offering wine-and-chocolate pairings to put everyone in the right mood. Fri., Dec. 14, 7 p.m., $20, Arts Parlor, 1170 S. Broad St., 215-645-2717, phillydancefitness.com.

Our Sexy Time columnist also takes reader sex questions of all varities. Email her something (anonymously!) at megan.augustin@citypaper.net.