via flickr/Jeff Nelson
In "patting men on the back for accomplishing the most mundane tasks in the world" news, the Wall Street Journal offers this article about men who dare venture into the grocery store. And boy oh boy, is it chock full of studies and quotes that seem specifically designed to insult all people of all genders. For instance, one marketing survey polled 900 meat-eating men and determined that 47% of them qualify as "manfluencers." What is a manfluencer, you ask? LIKE IT EVEN MATTERS. Presumably, all meat-abstaining men were automatically DQed or counted as ladies or something, based on the scientific fact that the Y chromosome is crafted of solid pork. Anyway, the takeaways are that men are terrified of straws and will buy anything if it comes in black packaging or has a picture of a bull on it, I guess.
While these new automated coffee kiosks are certainly a few steps up from your average bowling alley- and hospital-grade hot beverage vending machine, I'm not sure I'm buying Quartz's full-on dystopian vision of a Starbucks-free world where the monied classes commune exclusively with machines, avoiding eye contact with the unwashed, uninsured masses who nurse distant memories of their former careers as baristas. (JK, of course; Quartz actually seems pretty stoked on the frigid future landscape they paint.) Besides, do these things even turn out boiling hot cups of
MSG chicken broth? No! They do not! (I don't think.) So what good are they, really? (Disclaimer: they probably could, though.)
While I neither watch CSI nor really condone watching CSI, I begrudgingly endorse heading over to Eater to watch some clips of last night's episode, which involved Wolfgang Puck and Top Chef-style reality cooking competitions and cannibalism and other good things.
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