Dear Papa: My roommate routinely finishes my decent whiskey, and replaces it with less nice whiskey. I appreciate the replenishment, but Bulleit and Bankers are just not equals. I find myself buying more of my favorite, only to have my roommate finish both bottles!
Dear Scott: Zelda drank just as much as I did, and you drank twice as much as either of us, so I can’t believe you can even remember what it was that I drank, let alone which one of us finished which bottle. But in any case, why are you hiding behind a letter to me instead of saying it to my face? If you want to work this out, I’ll be at the cafe.
Dear Papa: I recently started dating a total mama’s boy. I am worried that our relationship won’t last because he already has a serious woman in his life: his mom. On the one hand, I love that he continues to have a strong relationship with her as an adult. On the other hand, it’s creepy and a little annoying that they text while we’re out to dinner. What should I do?
—Single, no Child
Dear Single: A man’s father teaches him how to hunt and how to fish. His mother is his champion and a keeper of his exploits. Sending her text messages is as close as he can come to sending her a newspaper clipping. You should feel proud that he is letting her know about you. If it makes you unhappy, it is best to give the thing up entirely, or encourage him to move with you abroad, where it is more expensive for him to send his mother text messages.