Mayor Michael Nutter has announced a proposed agreement to privatize Philadelphia Gas Works. The...
Published: 09/19/2013 | 0 Comments Posted
 Philadelphia Segway Tours announces its new ghost tours. “I thought the Dolley Madison story was pretty spooky, but the scariest part was probably when we merged onto JFK while riding a wobbly little dork-chariot.”
 Lindsay Lohan is rumored to be dating Matt Nordgren, a quarterback who was part of the Eagles organization for three weeks in 2006. “I’ve hit rock bottom,” they say simultaneously.
 “Tomato King” Joe Procacci says his proposal for a casino in South Philly includes zip-lines, a water park and dry skiing. Not to mention a hot car simulator you can leave your kids in while you gamble.
[-3] Neighbors complain about the stench of rotting meat two weeks after a fire at a Dietz & Watson warehouse in Burlington County. But they admit the first couple hours smelled kind of amazing.
[+1] Rev. Al Sharpton, visiting Philly for an education conference, blasts Gov. Corbett for spending money on jails instead of education. And it’s the most important and effective speech of Sharpton’s career. Well, it’s tied with all his other speeches.
 A web site called Credit Donkey ranks Philadelphia sixth on its “Best Cities for Newlyweds” list. You know, throwing together meaningless lists is no way to build a respectable brand, Credit Donkey.
[+1] Flyers goalie Steve Mason’s new mask features zombified depictions of Ben Franklin, Betsy Ross and George Washington. “I would be insulted,” says the ghost of Commodore Barry, “if I thought you could steal the starter job from Ray Emery. Yes, everyone here in Hell follows hockey. Yes, Hell is real, and I’m in it. Long story. Sort of. I murdered people, is the gist of it.”
[-1] SEPTA reveals its budgetary “doomsday plan,” which calls for eliminating express subway service and turning all trolley routes into bus routes. Also, the ancient ones will return in a maelstrom of ash. Sunday schedules will be observed. Mass transit: No reported delays.
This week’s total: -2 | Last week’s total: 0
Long Live the King of Jeans
“I always kind of wanted to live in a dream world where Duran Duran artwork comes to life, and...
Civic leader Claudia Sherrod sells property being used as an illegal dump, sues business partner.
Claudia Sherrod, head of the South Philadelphia H.O.M.E.S., Inc. civic group, is fighting a legal...