January 9–16, 1997

20 questions

Jackie Mason

By Interview by Howard Altman

Background

Born, of all places, in Sheboygan, WI, 62-year-old Jackie Mason has come to personify New York Jewish grumpy humor.

Which is no surprise, considering that he grew up on the Lower East Side as the brother, son, grandson, great-grandson and great-great-grandson of rabbis.

This obviously had an influence. For three years, Mason himself was a rabbi, until giving it all up to become a comedian famous for his politically incorrect shtick.

Nowadays, however, Mason may be most famous for his role on The Simpsons as Krusty the Clown's rabbi father disappointed that his son didn't follow in his footsteps.

He's currently touring the country, trying out his latest one-man show, Much Ado About Everything, ultimately headed for Broadway.

What's your take on Ebonics?

Same take everybody in the world has. It is idiotic nonsense.

Why?

The only reason you are even asking me this question is because when black people are involved, everyone gets self-conscious. They get tortured, try to find ways to justify everything they do. We should try to compensate against all kinds of crimes against minorities in this country, but the way people go overboard and bend over backwards to try and assuage the guilt of the past by being so over-compliant and desperately solicitous, it is sick.

Sick?

Look what happens to women. Women today claim sexual harassment even if a guy says hello to them. He turns his back, it's almost sexual harassment. If he looks at them, it's another form of sexual harassment. It's all idiotic nonsense, but in a way it is good. It proves we are trying to erase discrimination.

Are you going to Bill Clinton's inauguration?

I am not particularly going to the inauguration because I have no great feeling of excitement about this president.

Why not?

Why not? Because I think a president should not only be the legal leader, but a moral leader of our country. And he doesn't represent to me a moral leader. He doesn't have the character a president should represent.

What about his wife?

I don't want to get that low.

Why not?

Do I have to be a genius to know that you don't give a person $1,000 and get back $100,000? There is no stock broker or anyone who knows anything about stocks, no one in America that believes that is possible. Now you are asking me why not? You must love questions if you are asking me why not. You must be a strong partisan on their side if you convince yourself they have done nothing wrong.

I'm just trying to get some good jokes out of you.

I'm not telling you jokes because the jokes I am then saving for the stage. Why should I give it to a newspaper when you are going to sell it for a quarter and I'm not going to make anything?

But we're the City Paper. We don't even get the quarter. We give it away for free. So, should Newt stay or go?

If he is caught lying — I don't care if he is Gingrich — I am an equal opportunity abuser. That is what is wrong with this country. As soon as a guy is a member of your party, everyone forms a barrier to save this man. The most disgusting thing is that as soon as you say Gingrich lied, they say it doesn't count. Why doesn't it count? They say Clinton is a bigger liar. Does that mean if a man kills one person you shouldn't catch him because someone else killed 300 people?

Should the state of Maryland give out license plates with the Confederate flag?

I saw that in the newspaper but I don't know nothing about it. I don't know why they are so disturbed about the Confederate flag. Why do they care?

Because to blacks, it is like the swastika.

Is that so? I'm not familiar enough with the psychology involved so I don't want to make any rash statement about something I don't know anything about.

Would Bart Simpson make a good rabbi?

(Chortles heartily). Positively.

Why?

Because a rabbi today has to be a comedian. You can't be a successful rabbi if you are not entertaining. People don't go to a temple to worship, they go to a temple to compare coats, compare jackets, to compare nose jobs, to wonder who is younger than who, who is divorced, who is fooling around. They discuss every problem except religion. If the rabbi is not a great entertainer, he goes in a second.

How about Krusty? Would he make a good rabbi?

Why can't you put this in the paper? I have a whole new approach in the show...

What about Krusty?

Who?

Krusty the Clown.

I don't know who he is.

From The Simpsons. What do you think about that show?

I never saw it. Not even the episode I was on. I never saw it. Did a picture called Caddyshack II. I didn't see that either. To tell you the truth, I don't find myself inquisitive to see it once I did it. I don't have one piece of paper about anything I ever did or anyplace I ever played. You would think I was a mass murderer. Anyone who wanted to eradicate the record of what he has done couldn't do a better job than I.

Why?

Because I don't like to live in the past. Just the future.

So, speaking about the future, tell me about the show.

One of the great new shows of my career, Much Ado About Everything, I am trying to get to Broadway. I am trying it out in Philly.

Why Philly?

Because the mentality is not that much different from New York. You have to be in a major city to try out new jokes, to get an honest evaluation.

What's the show about?

Oy, gotenyu. So far it is a major hit. It has to be different. I've made it a religion to never tell the same joke in different shows; I sweated like a pig to come up with new jokes.

This time, I understand you will be playing off a projector...

That is the trick. I'm not going to tell you, people might figure "maybe I don't like this" and they won't come.

Jackie Mason will be performing Jan. 14-19 at the T.L.A., 334 South St., 922-1011.