April 4–11, 1996

city beat

The Fish Nazis

An Old City restaurant called Dardanelles says "no fish" to "negative" customers.

By Scott Farmelant

Who says the customer's always right? Not Levandt Yueskel and Sherri Kane, who've placed a sign in the window of their restaurant, Dardanelles, announcing that certain kinds of diners won't be welcome.

Sure, Dardanelles has a very public storefront like every other eatery near Chestnut and Second Streets. But it's not open to the public, not anymore.

Dardanelles is a "private restaurant" now, says the sign. "Very soon" it will serve "regulars only."

Why such unfriendly service to Philly residents and tourists, the folks who line Dardanelles' register? Yueskel and Kane, it seems, are none too happy with some weekend diners who have the temerity to demand quick service while dishing snotty attitude.

These "assholes," explains Yueskel, want a quick meal so they can catch a flick at the Ritz Bourse or maybe a gig at a club. They complain about the loud music which pulses out of the stereo system. They come drunk, then gripe about the 30-minute wait for a table. These "negatives," says Yueskel, "poison other people's meals."

These customers don't care that preparing fresh food takes time, Yueskel says. They don't appreciate how the chef fawns over the rainbow trout, the salmon and the bluefish, explains Kane. So the couple decides, the hell with assholes.

"We only serve polite people," says Yueskel. "If people come here and behave like a king, we will treat them like a king. If they act like a peasant, we will treat them like a peasant. They must go."

Not necessarily. While the married restaurateurs have begun a unique marketing campaign, government officials warn they may wind up breaking the law.

Kevin Vaughn, executive director of the Philadelphia Commission on Human Relations, says the city's Fair Practices Ordinance does not preclude barring guests from a restaurant for behavior-related matters. Indeed, restaurants or clubs can turn away guests for dress-code violations. At the same time, Vaughn notes that Dardanelles' sign raises troubling questions

"How do they determine behavior?" asks Vaughn. "Do they size them up at the door? That type of subjective judgment leads to dangerous grounds. There's a danger for the person setting the policy to have so much ambiguity... that may result in someone feeling that they've been discriminated against."

Kevin Harley, a spokesman for the state attorney general's office in Harrisburg, says lawyers in the Civil Rights Enforcement Section find the sign problematic.

The sign "does raise some concerns and red flags," says Harley, adding that the AG's office may investigate the eatery with or without a referral from the Commission on Human Relations. Harley also says the Pennsylvania Human Relations Commission and the U.S. Attorney's Office could examine the situation.

Vaughn, however, doubts Dardanelles runs the risk of legal trouble unless somebody complains.

"Until they turn someone away, it's just a sign," says Vaughn. "People have to have something happen before we can take action. As long as [Dardanelles] is not stopping people based on any of the prohibited basis — race or ethnicity for example — there isn't a problem."

Tom McNally, a spokesman for the city's License & Inspections Department, says there is "not anything related to city ordinances" that prohibits Dardanelles from barring customers based on behavior. But McNally suggests the restaurant may be violating state and federal regulations.

"Anyone should be able to use any restaurant at any time," says McNally. "That's the law."

Either way, other restaurateurs think little of Dardanelles' attitude.

"I've never, ever thought of a customer as an asshole," says Al Paris, Circa's chef and owner. "The idea is contrary to the hospitality business in general. I guess [Yueskel and Kane] have not read Deepak Chopra's The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success. Karma is going to blow up in their face."

"Difficult customers are demanding," continues Paris. "But they are people touching on a part of the business that you haven't developed."

"When you get into the restaurant business, you are there to service the customer," says Chris Vitanza of the Painted Parrot, a neighbor of Dardanelles. "The customer is king."

Moreover, both chefs predict the no-asshole marketing strategy will backfire.

"If they're looking for the courts to protect them in Chapter 11, [the strategy] should do well," says Paris.

"Do I think it's going to work?" asks Vitanza. "It's pretty hard to [turn away customers] in a 28-seat restaurant."

If an almost-empty restaurant on an early Wednesday evening means anything, maybe Dardanelles is hurting. But the two couples eating here on this evening have ignored the no-new-customers rule. As the customers sup on heaping plates of steaming food, one couple pronounces their meals excellent.

By looks alone, Dardanelles is not a run-of-the mill establishment. Yueskel etched his art directly onto the walls. The work depicts UFOs zapping earth-like landscapes into thermo-nuclear mushroom clouds. Yueskel and Kane also scrawled the words of William S. Burroughs throughout the eatery. A letter depicting a recent dispute between the eatery and L&I also hangs on the wall.

At the bottom line, Yueskel and Kane say the sign is no big deal.

"The sign asks you, 'Are you an asshole?'" says Yueskel. "If you are offended [by that], you are free to walk."

"We may lose some money," says Sherri. "[But customers] must leave their stress at the door."