November 22–29, 2001

news

Bare Knobs and Broomsticks

It’s no secret that the new Harry Potter movie is causing incredible levels of excitement throughout the land, but perhaps no moviegoer has gotten more excited than the woman who started to undress Sunday at the Riverview multiplex, which was packed with the young wizard’s fans.

According to a witness, the woman, who appeared to be in her mid- to late-20s, was leaving a movie and heading for the exit with two friends when she started a commotion near the concession line by threatening to unzip the white unisuit she was wearing.

"She started to unzip and began yelling at her friends, ‘You think I’m too old for this?’" says the witness, CP arts editor Debra Auspitz. "She was pulling down her zipper, threatening to undress. At least 50 people were in line, families with kids, watching."

Auspitz says that moments later the woman completed her striptease, unzipping the suit to her waist and pulling it off to expose a white, lacy bra. Then she started dancing around.

At this point, says Auspitz, her tirade got louder. Parents began pulling their children away.

"Tell your boyfriend to fuck you because all you need is some dick," she said to a woman who seemed to be with her. "You need some dick."

Auspitz said that while moviegoers, mostly kids waiting to see Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, looked on, the woman — "still yelling about dick," said Auspitz — was eventually nudged out of the theater by her friends.

Though there were police in the theater at the time, none approached the woman, said Auspitz, a fact confirmed by a police spokesman who said that there was no report of an incident.

"They probably would have 302ed her ass," said the spokesperson, referring to an involuntary commitment.

A Riverview manager who refused to identify herself laughed when asked about the incident.

"That’s never happened before," said the manager, who refused to answer any questions about the incident.

Theater officials may not be talking, but at least one patron had plenty to say.

"Is this not the trashiest movie theater you have ever seen, or what?" said one woman waiting in line for popcorn.

—Howard Altman