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September 26-October 2, 2002 the bell curve The Bell CurveCity Paper's weekly gauge of Philly's Quality of Life Mayor says custody dispute involving MOVE member is not city’s problem. Statement undermined by fact that he made it by megaphone from a hovering police helicopter. Minus 1 Rolling Stones play First Union Center and Tower Theater. Great, now all our hookers have syphilis. Plus 2 Lawyers for former city inspectors accused of taking bribes say payments were actually “tips.” Later, lawyers can only vaguely recall ever liking themselves. Minus 2 Prince Andrew, Duke of York, visits Philly. Everywhere he goes it’s the same -- huge crowds dwindle once the teenage girls realize he’s not “Diana’s hunky son.” Plus 2 Middle school evacuated after someone sets fire to toilet paper. School officials puzzled -- they thought the students had already used up this semester’s toilet paper allotment. Minus 3 “Tailgate Russ’” plans for largest tailgate party ever at Vet fall apart due to his failure to secure proper permits. Disappointed fans issue permits to city officials to go fuck themselves. Minus 1 Thirteen students expelled from city schools in first two weeks. And everyone said classroom sizes could not be reduced. Plus 1 Mayor leads bike tour of drug corners in West Philly, part of second phase of Operation Safe Streets. Junkies from other neighborhoods follow on stolen bikes, take notes. Plus 1 City announces plans to install sprinkler system at Art Museum, which has been in violation of fire code since 1952. Inspectors quietly bemoan loss of another source of “tips.” Plus 5 Total pluses: 11 Total minuses: 7 Score for the week: 4 Last week’s score: -1 
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