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July 24-30, 2003 the bell curve City Paper's weekly gauge of Philly's Quality of Life Prince Andrew visits Simon Gratz High again; appreciative students call him their "dawg." The prince replies, "Your special handshakes are difficult and tiresome." Plus 4
Citing security concerns, Eagles prohibit fans from bringing hoagies and other food items into their new stadium. Al-Qaeda cancels plans for atomic shortie. Minus 7
WIP talk-show host Angelo Cataldi suspended following his comparing the Eagles with Nazis because of the new food policy. See, "Soup Nazi" is funny, "Hoagie Nazi" crosses a line. Minus 2
Long-term economic slump leads city to a budget just barely in the black. Any surprise expense, such as education, could put the city back in the red. Minus 2
PennDOT promises to replace the Z-shaped bricks it ripped up on South Broad Street. Asks spokesperson, "How about fancy brick-shaped bricks?" Plus 2
Jenkintown millionaire gives away $15 million and donates a kidney to a stranger. M. Night Shyamalan finally has the macabre plot twist he needs for the end of his Brewster's Millions remake. Plus 4
IRS sues war-protesting Philadelphia Quakers for $42,000 in back taxes. And we thought William Penn was pissed off when we built Liberty Place. Minus 1
Five years after the railing collapse at Veterans Stadium during the Army-Navy game, injured man receives $1.05 million in settlement. His injuries would have been much worse, you know, but a pile of hoagies broke his fall. Plus 1
Total pluses: 11 Total minuses: 12 Score for the week: -1 Last week’s score: -11 
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