December 11-17, 2003

the bell curve

City Paper's weekly gauge of Philly's Quality of Life

School District proposes ban on soda but allows other sweetened beverages. Hi-C executives laugh at their carbonated competitors, can't wait for all those rotted teeth to come rolling in. Plus 1

The demanding schedule of The Lion King musical might have been a motivating factor in Street's attempt to push the failed Boyd renovation plan through quickly. That's the real "Circle of Life," people. Minus 5

Brookings Institution releases report that Pennsylvania's economic decline is a result of poor planning and policies and that the state "has no vision." Hey, let's all go kick Brookings' ass. Someday. Tomorrow maybe. Anybody driving out to Tony Luke's? Minus 5

Citing a lack of embarrassing incidents since the Eagles moved from the Vet to the Linc, Judge Seamus McCaffery cancels the in-stadium courtroom sessions. He should start resting up for the Super Bowl parade anyway. Plus 1

Gangs of thugs wearing boxing gloves attack several people in and around Queen Village. "At least they're not using bricks," QV residents say, then raise asking price for houses by $100,000. Minus 5

Area doctors’ offices see increase in patients requesting flu shots. "We’re just injecting them with Hi-C," says one doctor. "Nothing can stop the flu." Plus 1

Eight large statues on City Hall will cost $1.9 million to restore. Or we could take a cue from Municipal Plaza and replace the statues with easy-to-clean Monopoly pieces. Minus 1

Early snowstorm drops 4 to 12 inches in Philadelphia area. Several weather reporters faint from excitement. Even

Sam Katz now in debt more than a million for his failed election campaign. Aw. Minus 1

Total pluses: 3

Total minuses: 17

Score for the week: -14

Last week's score: -9

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