SLICE OF LIFE: Grey Lodge Pub offers a rotating list of local brews, tomato pie and Northeast Philly ambiance. Photo By: Manuel Dominguez Jr

Here are some places that truly grasp the precarious balance between drippy grease and brewer's yeast. Sure, we don't possess the hand-tossed wherewithal to oust NYC from atop the pizzeria pantheon. But dammit, if we're going to dine in second place, we might as well get obliterated while we're at it.

(401 South St., 215-413-3434)

Before you scream sellout, consider this: Lorenzo's sucks once the inital intoxicated wonderment tapers off. Lickety's puts their Parmesan cheeseless competitors to shame by offering cheap, quick slices ... with toppings.

Eats: Bask in the simplicity: plain slices are two bucks. For a topping, add 50 cents. They also offer thick-crust Sicilian pies.

Suds: Upstairs, they hawk a decent variety of not-too-shabby faves, including Guinness, Heineken and Corona.

(2229 Spruce St., 215-735-7357)

This corner sitdown is the most aesthetically pleasing place on the list. The tucked-away brick-oven kitchen is surrounded by sunlit seating and a wall that boasts numerous "Best Of" awards (including a few from City Paper).

Eats: Mama's all about wood-fired toasty tastes and gourmet ingredients. Check out the Peking duck pie (with hoisin sauce, scallions, mozzarella and plum sauce) or the Santa Fe (grilled chicken, sour cream, filetto di pomodoro, guacamole and red onion). They also offer whole wheat dough and low-fat choices.

Suds: There are few things more enjoyable than sipping on a pricey import (Duvel, Moretti La Rosa) while people-watching in the hopes that you'll see a middle-aged guy rollerblading down Spruce. Extra points if he's wearing wristpads.

(3517 Lancaster Ave., 215-222-2739)

You won't find anything fancy here, but who cares? The "Mad Greek" moniker is misleading ... the staff's very friendly. (Incidentally, my aspiring rapper friend Vasilios employs an identical phrase when people ask him what his parents are like.)

Eats: New York pizzaphiles might be intimidated by the Greek's thick crusts. But when a sizable small pie sets you back just over $5, you always feel like a winner.

Suds: On a recent visit, we spied Grolsch, Magic Hat, Victory's Whirlwind Witbier.

(6235 Frankford Ave., 215-624-2969)

The Lodge, which will celebrate its 10th anniversary this August, is known more for inventive gastro-fare than pizza. Still, with one of the best beer selections in the city and a popular Northeast staple on the menu, it's perfect for this here roundup.

Eats: Since it's located a few storefronts from the storied Tony's Place, it's brave for Grey to serve their own tomato pie, the sauce-on-top snack that its neighbor made famous. How do they stack up? Bartender Frank Herschberger: "I've only had Tony's once, and I don't remember exactly what the differences are." Oh Frank, that double shot of modesty has me reeling.

Suds: They always have 10 beers on tap, and they're rotated regularly. Expect to find signatures from area breweries like Yards, Sly Fox and Troegs.

(4301 Baltimore Ave., 215-386-1450)

So what if "Mix Six" sounds like the name of a foppish British boy band? Get over it. This unassuming shop is University City's go-to for creating variety packs, Foodery-style.

Eats: The pizza ain't slap-in-the-face brilliant, but it's better than most. In addition to stuffed pies, there's a classic white (spinach, tomato, ricotta) usually available by the slice. After you and the crew finish mixing six, or 12, or 18: They offer an extra-large 28-incher for about $24.

Suds: Don't judge a joint by its awning. Behind that modest exterior lies a barley-and-hops nirvana, its discovery akin to stumbling onto a mint-condition Mike Schmidt rookie card in a box of bent-up Abraham Nunezes. The selection's top-notch, from red, white and brewed micro-staples (Anchor, Redhook) to international standouts (Kirin, Spaten).

(1536 Packer Ave., 215-467-3255)

Located a few blocks from the stadiums, Celebre is an institution that caters to longtime locals and surly sports fans alike. If the reasonable prices or '50s-style carnival sign doesn't draw you in, the gregarious staff will.

Eats: Celebre's conventional pizzas have won awards, but its signature is the Pizzazz. The sauceless wonder is a strangely delicious combination of American cheese, tomatoes and hot peppers atop thick crust.

Suds: The bar stays true to its roots by offering Peroni, the most famous beer in all of Italy. It's customary to request one the way they do it in the old country: crumbling to the ground without being pushed and grabbing your ankle in Shakespearean anguish. Man, I love topical humor.