In The Event That...

Number Two Is Always Number One on Your Mind

by Ryan Creed

The Tao of Poo

Sat., June 2, 7:30-9:30 p.m., $5, Fleisher Art Memorial, 719 Catharine St., 215-922-3456, www.poopthebook.com

For the sake of propriety, there are things — dirty things that all of God's loving creatures produce — that shouldn't be looked at, thought about, discussed, smelled, stepped over or done in the company of others. But there are times, whether it's a run-in with food poisoning or getting stuck in traffic after a fiber-rich meal, when you come face to face with a bodily function that can no longer be ignored.

In "The Tao of Poo: A Night of Poop Humor and Poop Culture," Dave Praeger, author of Poop Culture: How America Is Shaped by Its Grossest National Product, intends to shed light on our muskiest intestinal handiwork. Four local comedians (including Gregg Gethard) will give firsthand accounts of irritable bowel syndrome, diarrhea and constipation, while Praeger will discuss the history of the toilet, the environmental hazards of our sewage system and why toilet paper packaging is sometimes covered with cute little teddy bears.

"All people poop," writes Praeger, "so shouldn't we view pooping as neutral, a shared human experience, unremarkable because universal?" While this lecture does not promise to eradicate the deep-seated taboo, we can only hope it'll give doodoo-phobics the confidence to tackle a delicious bean burrito.