Icepack

Amorosi on the news, nightlife, gossip and bitchiness beats.

by A.D. Amorosi

Now that the Comcast Center's been fitted for a long thick tip, I'mo rest easy. Having a prick-like thing as our protector and having it provided by Comcast? They can't charge me enough for that asinine Flight of the Conchords. And, no: Thank you.

► Most gig-riders provide for brown and not green M&Ms. For Khyber's foul wiggy Dirty Diamond/Sleazy E Vagina Jam June 23, its Web gang-bang sponsor, Hole and a Heartbeat, has something else planned for its host. "She's flying in from Ohio, on her own dollar, to get banged by the HH crew," says Azafran/Fresca chef-turned-pornographer Scott "LaRock" MacCloud. We're pretty sure he's talking about porn star Staci Barr and not the eve's other host, Benny from Howard Stern 's show. "She's hotter than Needles Jones but not as entertaining," says LaRock, confusing me even more. Look for LaRock to sing Mentors songs with the diabolically misogynistic ScareHo . P.S. Did anybody know that Dandelion â€â€� Kevin Morpurgo' and Carl Hinds' prickly pre-grunge rockers â€â€� is reuniting at Khyber June 25? Do it and stay doing it, dudes.

► You've kept track of comic Danny Ozark's panty-stirring exploits with NBC 10's Lu Ann Cahn: first on WYSP FM's Kidd Chris show where Ozark dropped a bomb that he'd rifled through Cahn's drawers of drawers, then everywhere else, including Cahn's NBC 10 slot? Danny says he's sorry over his joke gone wrong. He even had to sit and watch Cahn's Ozark investigation with fellow comedians at The Dive (which is now rumored to be closed/closing for good?) where he was roundly humiliated (See it at www.halfninja.com). So after apologizing to Cahn by phone ("I'd love to take her out platonically and talk," says Ozark. "She's really witty."), he is putting it behind him by restarting Sour Grapes, his weekly Tuesday bash starting June 26 at Café Habana at 7:30 p.m. Not only does Ozark want fellow comics who don't make Helium's open-mic slot to gripe Sour Grapes-style, "It's open to any citizen who wishes to get on the mic to complain about lousy jobs, annoying significant others, lousy sex lives, noisy neighbors ." (www.myspace.com/sourgrizzys).

► We know TLA Releasing and Philly Film Fests are kissing cousins. Mwah. While TLA's big picture arm sucked up the way-full-frontal Naked Boys Singing! The Movie and the not-so-naughty Blossoming of Maximo Oliveros for late summer release, PFF's 13th Philadelphia International Gay and Lesbian Film Festival in July offers star stops from RuPaul and Farley Granger . Farley fucking Granger â€â€� that's old school gay, yo â€â€� just penned a tell-all, Include Me Out. Surely, he'll give "Rope" a whole new meaning.

► Not only does Eric Vincent 's Curve Dominant Last Monday jam session at the Balcony welcome Bon Jovi 's bud Lisa Bouchelle June 25: Vincent'll host Blue Collar, booker Joe Mahoney and the rest of the Brotherly Shove crew for the Shove's pre-July 4 meet 'n' greet.

► Rumor: Is the recently-shuttered Copa Too space going to Jo Gunn, the just-ex bar manager at Fergie's â€â€� so to open his namesake Jose Pistolas â€â€� a beer bar with Mexican flavor? We hear "si."

► Whowhatwhere: If you took Martin Sheen 's picture while he hosted the NAMI-PA (National Alliance on Mental Illness) event at Loews (where honoree Patrick Kennedy came sans his pop, fellow honoree Senator Ted ), chances are Sheen made you snap another, as he encouraged all snappers to keep snapping while he posed. If you went to the Wanamaker House's Anti-Defamation League award ceremony for its 2007 Torch of Liberty winner, Jimmy Binns, you got a surprise see-saw from Chubby Checker . My nom for a Led Zep drummer if Page and Plant ever get off their saggy asses and decide to do "D'yer Maker": The Roots ' ?uestlove , who jammed with Zeppelin bassist John Paul Jones and Ben Harper at Bonaroo's day one. We hear George Lopez gave WMGK's John DeBella $1,000 at the National Constitution Center U.S. veterans charity event that DeBella hosted. Is it me, or 'zat sound cheap?

► John Leroy , whose Badmaster distro/label signed the raging Northern Liberties , is hanging with the trio while they head to Inner Ear Studio to record their August release. He'll tell you about it June 21 when his other star punks Pony Pants open for le lesbionic Team Dresch at the Rotunda and Millcreek Tavern.

► DJ Brendan Olkus is money: MTV bought one of his songs ("Bird Wing") for its Fat Girls flick, which they'll spin off into a series. "Bird Wing"' MC Shiz (a signee to O's label Deuce Deuce) also happens to be working with French producer Djamel Benyelles , who's scoring Jonathan Demme's new doc on Jimmy Carter. "Djamel decided to put Shiz on the score, make 'Dark Road' the single off the soundtrack," says Olkus. "Demme heard the cut and loves Shiz, and Djamel likes Shiz so much he wants to sign him to a European deal."

► Before they do M Room June 23, Plastic Little drop the digital Driz-bodia with lots of little remixes from Pink Skull and fancy ones from Hot Chip. Ask Plastic Little's Jayson Musson why he isn't playing out with American Sneakers after dropping their nice Darts & Daggers.

► On June 25 Large Marge Wexler's Pocket Lint monthly at Tritone hosts one-man electro-lounge crooner/storyteller Stephan Blumn, whose debut song cycle: Amelia Earhart CD is the best synth-debut out of Philly since VIP.

► The queen of the feather boa, Heather Henderson, informs me she's planning on showing vid from her bit of Brat Production's Three Chord Fiction at what she's calling a "Barbary Farewell Bash" for the recently late club at her studio, Pumatone, at 1300 N. Front on June 24. When your neighbor throws you a goodbye party, it's over.

(a_amorosi@citypaper.net)