Argentina

Rodney Anonymous vs. the World

by Rodney Anonymous

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Published: Sep 4, 2007

(CLICK IMAGE FOR LARGER VERSION)

Artists: Dino Saluzzi and Anja Lechner

Album: Ojos Negros

Country of Origin: Argentina

Just as appalling children's author Madonna's performance in Evita was infinitely inferior to adult film actress Jeanne Fine's one-woman (OK, two women in some scenes) tour de force in I Eata, so is jazz inferior to all other musical genres including air guitar and placing one's left palm under one's right armpit and "farting out" Mozart melodies. If you have either a problem with that statement or a collection of Down Beat magazines with the pages stuck together, then you might want to shift your gaze about 2 inches to the right where you'll find a piece by a much better writer about how a local industrial band rejuvenated their sound by drowning puppies.

Praise be to the surly, under-medicated God of the Old Testament and the New World Order that, despite the claims made by the crappy black and white sticker stuck on its shrink wrap, Ojos Negros is not a jazz CD: It's a tango CD — a dark, beautiful, velvety, moody, minor-key masterpiece. A sort of sensual Dance Macabre between bandoneon (the accordion's cool cousin) and cello. The type of total, fearless exploration of the tango that would've made Astor Piazzolla proud; and it's also probably the best thing you'll hear this year. If this CD were a woman it would be Salma Hayek, and if it were a man, it would be still be Salma Hayek, but with a penis.

Since most readers of this column are forbidden, under current Homeland Security rules, from traveling abroad, you'll be pleased to know that by playing this CD and closing your eyes, you can actually see Argentina (or, at the very least some country that looks enough like Argentina) unfold in your mind. Fans of jazz are encouraged to close their eyes while driving.

Verdict:

As a people, we might not be able to band together to end a poorly planned and unjust war, but we can fight like hell to make sure Ojos Negros doesn't gather dust in the Jazz and Musical Spoons bins of our nation's CD stores.

(r_anonymous@citypaper.net)

www.rodneyanonymous.com is like Drudge Report, but with a penis.

 

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