Norway

Rodney Anonymous vs. the World

by Rodney Anonymous

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Artist: Combichrist

Album: What the F**k Is Wrong With You People?

Country of Origin: Norway

Anyone looking to pen a quick fucking doctoral thesis might want to consider the "World Music Paradox," which states, fucking simply, that the whiter a musician's skin plus the better the social and economic conditions in that musician's homeland, the angrier that musician's music will be. Right now, there are black people in fucking war-torn Sudan composing songs about sunsets and flowers while Honky-homeland Norway, which hasn't really been a fucking hotbed of social unrest since the ninth fucking century, continues the world's leading exporter of angry death metal and industrial bands.

While we may never know exactly what the fuck Combichrist are so angry about (are they worried about being replaced by a cheaper industrial band from fucking Mexico?), we should thank Odin that these guys were fucking pissed off enough to stop drinking mead from the fucking skulls of their Viking ancestors long enough to record What The F**k Is Wrong With You People? (Metropolis) because songs like "Get Your Body Beat," "Shut Up and Swallow," "Give Head If You Got It" as well as the title track are just as fucking catchy as they are angry. If you're the sort of person who enjoys dancing and burning down orphanages (and who among us doesn't fall into at least one of those categories?), this is the CD for you.

Somewhere, a teenager's fucking mother, having searched his room after being warned about the negative effects of industrial music by a very fucking special episode of Oprah, is tossing this CD in a fucking trash can and muttering "good riddance to bad rubbish": the highest fucking compliment that one generation can pay to the music of the next.

Verdict:

According to the fucking World Music Paradox, aiding the fucking Norwegians would make their fucking lives better, which, in turn, would only make them angrier, resulting in more fucking wonderfully angry bands like Combichrist. Fuck.

(r_anonymous@citypaper.net)

Go to fucking rodneyanonymous.com.