Double Talk

Back and forth with Todd Glass and Gary Gulman

by Ben Kharakh

(CLICK IMAGE FOR LARGER VERSION)

Todd Glass and Gary Gulman (pictured) see a lot of each other these days. After appearing on seasons two and three of Last Comic Standing, the quick-witted friends are double-headlining a show here in Glass' hometown. This, of course, is all in addition to afternoons of "airplane."

City Paper: Are the two of you in Philly yet?

Gary Gulman: I'm in a hotel in San Francisco, on my bed, completely naked.

Todd Glass: Everything's the same for me, except I'm on my parents' front lawn. No, the truth is, I am in the suburbs of Philly. I didn't want to do this in my house, so I'm in my car with the air conditioning on in my driveway.

CP: Feeling the effects of global warming?

GG: The effect of global warming is that you can't enjoy an unseasonably warm day anymore because people just say it's global warming.

TG: Yeah! God forbid you go out on a 90-degree day in January and enjoy it, people will think you're in denial. They look at you like you need help. I look at the way that it affects me, and I don't mean to be shallow, but I had a snow cone the other day and it melted in like 20 minutes. I can usually eat them for 40.

GG: There are a few things that contribute to global warming, some more than others. Like methane from cows, exhaust from cows and the amount of laughter generated by Todd Glass. The carbon dioxide is raised wherever Todd Glass is making mirth.

CP: Are the two of you going to be doing Morning Zoo-type radio together?

TG: As much as we can.

GG: Todd, is it true that you were on Friends?

TG: Oh, Gary! I was. And you want to hear a funny story about that?

GG: Yes.

TG: No, I don't want to tell a funny story about that, it was too long ago.

GG: Oh, do it!

TG: My brother came all the way from Philly to visit me on the set. He said that Jennifer Aniston was so pretty that he would hit his girlfriend over the head with a shovel to be with her. And then I thought if he hit his girlfriend over the head with the shovel, why would she want to be with him?

CP: What do you guys do when you're not onstage and just hanging out?

GG: There's a game we play at Todd's house where we pretend the house is an airplane. You think a lot more of your place if it's an airplane. It may be an average apartment, but if it were an airplane, it would be the most luxurious airplane of all time. To have a shower, kitchen, living room—

TG: So we'll be sitting in the living room, pretending it's an airplane, and Gary will come in and go, "Have you seen the kitchen? It's like a full-sized kitchen!" And then it's like, "Holy shit!"

Todd Glass and Gary Gulman

Fri.-Sat., Nov. 23-24, 8 and 10:30 p.m., $25-$29, Helium Comedy Club, 2031 Sansom St., 215-496-9001, heliumcomedy.com