Heart Attack

Kiss and make out this Valentine's Day.

by Monica Weymouth

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Published: Feb 6, 2008

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It's like this, Philly: The chip on your shoulder is fine — endearing, even — most days. But as the City of Brotherly Love, you could stand to lighten up for Valentine's Day. There's plenty going on, so pull out the cute undies and pick up some flowers on the way, 'cause Bridget Jones and a pint of Ben & Jerry's ain't cutting it this year.

Perez Hilton would have had quite the career in the baby-mama-drama-filled days of Zeus and Hercules. This night hosted by the Young Friends of Penn Museum examines the most scandalous breakups in history. Research scientist Jennifer Wegner will deliver a talk titled "What Happens in Egypt, Stays in Egypt," and Dr. Jean MacIntosh Turfa will host "Lying Etruscan Gods and the Mortals Who Love Them," a talk show on mythology's most irresponsible hookups. "Nobody thinks of the children in these unions," says Turfa. "It would make a great Oprah or Dr. Phil episode." Cocktails, mingling and trips to rehab will follow. Thu., Feb. 7, 6-9 p.m., $5-$10, Penn Museum, 3260 South St., 215-898-5093, museum.upenn.edu.

Chocolate, cocktails, shopping, a tattooed man in uniform: Sailor Jerry's pre-Valentine's bash is girl porn at its raunchiest. Refreshments at the nautical affair will include drinks made from the store's signature spiced rum, and organic rum truffles, which are emblazoned with anchors for a manly touch. While all the seafaring clothing and accessories make sweet gifts for sweeties, pick up a panties set (which are made and designed right here in Philly) or the new spiced aftershave for a night Mr. Jerry would approve of. Thu., Feb. 7, 6-8 p.m., free, RSVP requested, Sailor Jerry, 116-118 S. 13th St., 215-531-6380, sailorjerry.com, rsvp@sailorjerry.com.

It doesn't take much to send the lady packing, but your four-legged buddy sticks around year after year in spite of (and possibly because of) your filthy apartment and friends. This annual party, hosted by Devil's Alley, invites you and your most loyal date to a night of comfort food, local beers and silent auction bidding to benefit the Philadelphia Animal Welfare Society (PAWS). Contests such as "Best Trick" and "Best Look-Alike Pair" will honor guests of all species, and pups in need of a Valentine will be on hand for adoption. Devil's Alley owner Sue Schlisman will be escorted by three dates, including Yo-Yo, her two-legged rescued Chihuahua. Wed., Feb. 13, 7-10 p.m., $35, Painted Bride Art Center, 230 Vine St., 215-751-0707, devilsalleybarandgrill.com.

There's a reason you put on makeup to swing by Whole Foods, and it has nothing to do with organic sprouts. In hopes of uniting some foodie cuties, local Whole Foods stores are hosting a night for single shoppers. Themed tasting stations will feature everything from playful "cheap date" mac-and-cheese fare to surf-and-turf munchies for more sophisticated lovebirds. Dessert includes chocolate dipping fountains, but we suggest you crazy kids pick up some free-range eggs and hit the road. Thu., Feb. 7, 6-9 p.m., free, area Whole Foods, wholefoodsmarket.com.

 

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