If you’ve been anywhere near the Parkway recently, you know the Jay-Z-curated Budweiser Made in America Festival is looming large. Three stages, two sound-dampening perimeter fences, 50,000-ish ticket holders, countless tweets predicting a shitshow — what’s going to happen? Who knows. Probably everyone will just have a good, weird time. Weird, because the lineup is sorta nuts. Will the dude tripping to Skrillex on Saturday join Pearl Jam’s (pictured right-top) slo-mo mosh pit on Sunday? What’s the crossover like for fans of Dirty Projectors and Drake? Jay-Z said he’d invite the president — any chance of that happening? And where are The Roots? Looks like it’s up to Meek Mill, Jill Scott and turncoat Santigold (pictured right-center) to represent. And it’s up to you, dear reader. This is for a good cause (the United Way), so get drinking. But stay hydrated. Remember: Budweiser is technically not water.
SIP
Chris Cornell joins Pearl Jam for “Hunger Strike 2012.”
D’Angelo takes his shirt off.
Miike Snow gets kicked out for being made in Sweden.
Odd Future says a bad word.
Skrillex reminds you of Dream a Little Dream-era Corey Feldman.
You spot Ron Howard.
Somebody gives a shout-out to MCA.
SHOT
Meek Mill joins Drake for "Amen.”
Run-DMC joins The Hives for “Walk This Way 2012.”
Calvin Harris gets kicked out for being made in Scotland.
You spot Potsie or Ralph Mouth.
Somebody gives a shout-out to Neil Armstrong.
CHUG
Rick Ross (pictured right-bottom) rolls onstage in a Rascal.
Drake gets kicked out for being made in Canada.
D’Angelo takes your shirt off.
Somebody reprograms Janelle Monáe to kill all humans.
You spot Will Smith or President Obama.
Somebody gives a shout-out to Phyllis Diller.
Beanie Sigel does a walk-on during Jay-Z’s set and they’re friends again.
RUN
Beanie Sigel does a walk-on during Jay-Z’s set and they’re not friends again.
(pat@citypaper.net) (@mission2denmark)
Sat.-Sun., Sept. 1-2, noon, $91.85-$625 (single day), $153.70-$947.70 (two-day pass), Ben Franklin Parkway, 888-458-8297, madeinamericafest.com.
