…when we gave you the keys to the mayor’s office: busting corruption that seems to be ingrained in our city bureaucracy.

In short: Amy Kurland, the city’s Inspector General — a position Nutter created when he took office in January — exposed favoritism in the Personnel Department. Here’s the release:

Philadelphia, May 15, 2008 – Inspector General (IG) Amy Kurland’s office has conducted an investigation into misconduct by Personnel Director Tanya Smith. It was determined that Ms. Smith inappropriately manipulated the civil service exam process to benefit City employees she favored.

“While I am saddened to learn of any wrong-doing by City employees, I am pleased that Inspector General Kurland’s office has been successful in identifying and rooting out unethical behavior,” said Mayor Michael A. Nutter. “The vast majority of City workers are honest, hard-working people, but the City still needs an autonomous watch-dog to weed out bad actors.”

The investigation was to determine whether Ms. Smith inappropriately interfered with a two-part written/oral exam to benefit another Personnel Department employee. The evidence confirmed, and the Inspector General concluded, that Smith illegally cancelled the written part of the exam after she improperly questioned several Personnel Department employees on their exam status and learned that her preferred employee had not passed the test. This action would have resulted in an unfair eligibility list based only on the subjective, oral part of the exam. Furthermore, it permitted Personnel Department employees who had not passed the exam to have an unfair second chance.

Additionally, the evidence established that Ms. Smith obstructed the IG investigation. She made false statements to the IG investigator and directed her subordinates to be untruthful to IG investigators. During the course of the investigation, the IG instructed Ms. Smith to freeze the eligibility list for the exam in question. However, despite those instructions, she released the list. Individuals were promoted from this list who may have had an unfair advantage.

“Unfortunately my office has concluded that Ms. Smith conducted herself unethically in her position as Personnel Director,” said Inspector General Amy Kurland. “The problem has been investigated and dealt with accordingly. The improper actions of one individual should not cast doubt on other City workers.”

It is the duty of the Personnel Director to uphold and safeguard the regulations of all civil service employees. Because Smith abused her authority, intentionally circumvented the civil service system and failed to uphold these regulations, and because she obstructed the investigation, the Inspector General recommended to the Civil Service Commission that Smith be removed as Personnel Director and barred from civil service positions for five years.

Prior to any final action by the Civil Service Commission Smith resigned from her position.

According to our schedule, there is an important movie coming out that day.

thehappyrooster.com

The orange sticker is up and the deed is done. Laurence Berk Esq. is now a new owner at The Happy Rooster, a Philly restaurant and bar institution for all smart business folk.

Though I’ll have a full interview in next week’s Icepack, there will be no change in food, employees or concept. "It’ll be the same exact Happy Rooster tradition," says Berk, who’ll take over the Rooster with Debbie Reid Jordan. "She’ll be up front — managing," says Berk of his pal. Can’t wait to see what they do.

Look away, I’m hideous!

cwtv.com

Whitney Thompson, a 20-year-old student from Florida, won America’s Next Top Model last night. She is not even remotely fat or ugly. But she is annoying.

Because she says things like this:

"There’s definitely times I’ve looked in the mirror or at other girls and thought that I wasn’t like them — always being judged and thinking, ‘Am I different? Is there something wrong with me?’"

Whitney: You’re a tall, attractive girl who is the size of a normal person. And while you may be slightly bigger by emaciated haute couture standards, you’re not even really "plus size." I don’t buy the whole "I was teased incessantly for my freakish and disgusting looks as a child" bit because you are tall and attractive. Lose the marytr complex — it’s not like you were born looking like fucking Eric Stoltz from Mask.

And this:

"I want other women in America to feel good about themselves," she said. "I want people to look at me and say, I don’t have to starve, I don’t have to have plastic surgery."

You are still going to make some women feel like that because you are tall and attractive and a size 6.

And this:

Thompson added that people should look like she does, "rather than skin-and-bones, which is disgusting and sends a bad message to people everywhere."

Gather ’round, girls of the world! You should look like me! Ooh, except you. You’re 5 feet tall and a size 10. Oh wait, and you, too. And you, right next to her. Wow, not that many people look like me! That’s OK — you should all start being tall and attractive first thing tomorrow! Look, I’m a role model!

We’ll save you!

icanhascheezburger.com

Not only do they have teeny tiny adorable little faces, but kittens save lives! Check it out:

JACKSONVILLE, Fla., May 14 (UPI) — Residents of a Jacksonville, Fla., boarding house gutted by an early morning fire credit two kittens with saving their lives.

Lisa Kimmerle said the kittens were meowing so loudly they woke her up early Tuesday, WJXT-TV reported. Then she heard popping noises and realized something was wrong.

By the time she was out of bed, flames were shooting up the stairwell. She and other second-floor residents were able to get onto the roof, and a neighbor helped them to the ground.

No one was injured in the fire, which gutted the building.

"God woke the kittens up, and the kittens woke us up," Kimmerle said.

Both kittens survived, although one disappeared for several hours after the fire.

Smoke detectors that sleep on your lap are the best kind of smoke detectors. For more on the life-saving powers of kitties, click here.

All head slappers, all the time! • John Edwards endorsed Barack Obama for president. Just another zany day in America… wait, we still have primaries left? • The Senate wants President George W. Bush to stop importing oil into the government’s oil reserve, because then oil prices might go down. The reserve is about 97 percent full anyway. • Bush recently implied that any attempts on Obama’s part to talk with terrorists would be like trying to appease Nazis pre-WWII. That is, that it would be wasted effort and would set the U.S. and the world up for more violence. If only someone had the right mix of moxy and chutzpah to walk into the Middle East and slap it around while spouting one liners… If only! • Presidential hopeful and Vietnam POW vet John McCain believes that the Iraq War can be won in four years. • And now, for the sake our collective sanity, here are 10, count ‘em 10, of Bea Arthur’s best moments.

exploring my pink

Something to do today:

Former CP intern/current artist and fine-arts model Susan Wierzbicki gave us a heads-up that Daffy’s (1700 Chestnut St.) has chosen her collection "The Homecoming Queen" to display in its store windows, starting today and running through June 11.

Susan sent us the obligatory artist’s statement below, despite not being much of a fan.

("It is a necessary evil," she says, "and makes me feel as if I should be wearing a black turtleneck-beret-neckscarf combo, with sunglasses indoors, smoking while sitting on an uber-mod chaise longue, legs crossed into a pretzel.")

Susan G. Wierzbicki is a Philadelphia local who has found success in painting after failing design in college and a six-year hiatus from art. What began as a necessary catharsis has developed into an evolution and a beautiful and fulfilling side career.

The title of this collection, "The Homecoming Queen," explains a period of intense growth, a return to a sense of wholeness and contentment, and the elements that comprise the journey. Celebrating "feeling like ME" again, my art is something I hope to share with everyone who walks past the 17th Street Window of Daffy’s. I want people to know that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, and while basking in that light, it is OK to crown yourself and assume whatever title suits you.

Through my own battles, I have come through and proudly declare myself "the homecoming queen."

We suggest you pick yourself up, put on your sparkliest tiara and head over to Daffy’s to take in her series of paintings, which remind us of vintage fashion posters of ladies lounging, with a feminized, provocative twist. And maybe buy some shoes on the cheap while you’re at it.

More samples of Susan’s work after the jump.

Click For More »

Picture this in a bath towel …

ew.com

While scads of faceless button-down Banana Republic young professionals whose lives stopped when Friends waited around for Jennifer Aniston today shoot scenes from Marley & Me in front of the Bellevue (this after Owen Wilson and Eric Dane just filmed at Broad and Walnut), I have this from a reliable spa-going source at Adolf Biecker in The Rittenhouse.

Parker Posey — she filming Happy Tears with Demi Moore and now Ellen Barkin — walked into the spa area the other day in a smock and flip flops, only to come out next … in a bath towel. A bath towel. Every post-pubescent indie dude who watched those Christopher Guest and Hal Hartley films repeatedly just got their life’s thrill. I’m told that though she was wearing no makeup, Parker looked as lovely ‘n’ lithe as she does on screen, and that when she was in the salon getting nail services earlier that week, she rolled around on the floor with her poodle. You can breathe, boys.

Photo | Annamarya Scaccia

Photo | Annamarya Scaccia

CP supertern Annamarya Scaccia just sent in these shots of some bizarre goings-on this morning. 

Look what I saw while walking down Broad Street at 11 a.m. It’s the McDonald’s southern chicken dance! Music and Ronald McDonald on a unicycle. It’s a promotional thing … I think there were shooting a commercial from the looks of it. Mummers were helping to promote it. McDonald on the unicycle was leading the way, and there were girls in Mickey D’s tees handing out stuff.

A. A clown on a unicycle is the last thing I would ever want to follow down the street blindly. Gacy all day.

B. Mummers in a McD’s commercial … why didn’t I think of that?