AT FIRSTGLANCE: Calendar Girl

Instead of creeping forward at an accelerating rate as most thrillers do, Philly director Derek Lindeman's Calendar Girl lazily saunters forward before giving a slight push at the end.

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AT FIRSTGLANCE: Calendar Girl

POSTED: Thursday, October 13, 2011, 12:00 PM

Filed Under: Movies | Film Fest Movie Review

Check this space all week for reviews and coverage of the 2011 FirstGlance Film Festival.

Somewhere among the forced dialog and weak supporting roles, there lies The Calendar Girl Killer, a man who has assaulted eleven girls in the past year (one of whom is a Drexel student) and is now turning his attention to Miss December. The serial killer is on the loose in Philadelphia, but even local viewers won’t bat an eye with the abrupt music that basically shouts, “watch, viewers, this is the scary part!” Instead of creeping forward at an accelerating rate as most thrillers do, Philly director Derek Lindeman’s Calendar Girl lazily saunters forward before giving a slight push at the end. An unnecessary amount of slow scenes with shallow character development was probably meant to give struggling actors more screen time, but the end result is the slowing down of the plot’s flow.

Ari, well played by Jensen Bucher, is a cynical goth-punk waitress at a diner. But even though we’re meant to feel sympathy for her, the character’s repetitive self-destructive behavior transforms her into the antagonist. She consciously surrounds herself with sociopaths who snap stalker photos of her or physically abuse her. So when she reads the Zodiac-esque newspaper article describing the killer’s next victim, Ari’s flattered that she now has a “secret admirer.”

While the new year approaches, Ari juggles three men in her life. Her best friend Chris (Lindeman) acts as her guardian, warning her against the menacing men in her life. But Lindeman’s smiles resemble winces, and the character is so awkward that he becomes unlikeable. Her ex-boyfriend Jon is a thug who wins her approval once he threatens a homeless man with a knife. And her new beau, Phil, is a dorky and slightly neurotic guy who claims to be a freelance photographer.

When the serial killer reveals himself to Ari and admits to plotting her death, she takes it as a compliment and decides to start dating him, whispering an unintentionally hilarious line, “Tonight you’re with me. Tomorrow you can start on Miss December.” But after repeated similar scenes of Ari getting turned on by knives, she finally wakes from her dark, twisted fantasy and realizes it’s probably not the best idea to date a serial killer. After all, the enabler is just as bad as the murderer. But by the time the climax arrives with Christmas Eve, Ari has become so annoying that it’s hard to actually root for her in the end.

With the way Ari’s portrayed in the film, it’s nearly impossible to empathize with her. She’s a home-wrecker, she fantasizes about killing people, she dates every possible male candidate, she encourages Phil to kill, and she even frames an innocent man. Ari’s extreme masochism makes her a despicable character, and even the supporting roles can’t balance that. The featured roles in the film all reinforce stereotypes that fall flat: the overbearing fiancé, the incompetent police officer, the unintelligent hobo and the vapid valley girl. Ari’s boss at the diner is the only character close to being admired, as he works two double shifts in a row in order to keep an eye on the loathing protagonist.

Comic relief temporarily saves the viewer not only from the empty plot line but also provides a breath of fresh air from the obnoxious characters, as well. A police officer arrests Ari while trying to hide his erection, a hobo who doesn’t understand the meaning of a 24/7 diner becomes a running gag, and a tooth-brushing competition between a lovey-dovey couple provides a sweet escape from the lack of chemistry between Ari and Phil.

CITY PAPER GRADE: C

Tonight, 8 p.m., $12, screens with Bad Days, Chord, The Interview, Franklin Institute, 222 N. 20th St., 215-448-1200, firstglancefilms.com.

(anna.pan@citypaper.net)

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