SHORE TRASH: "Eh, shit happens"

In last week's cliffhanger of Driving Miss Deena, Snooki and Deena rammed their Fiat into a parked police car. After an anti-climactic three-minute montage of Team Meatball exiting an Italian jail, we learn that Snooki gets her license taken away. "Eh, shit happens," she says.

options

SHORE TRASH: “Eh, shit happens”

POSTED: Friday, September 23, 2011, 12:00 PM

Filed Under: TV Shore Trash

Every week, Diana Palmieri breaks down last night's episode of Jersey Shore.

In last week’s cliffhanger of Driving Miss Deena, Snooki and Deena rammed their Fiat into a parked police car. After an anti-climactic three-minute montage of Team Meatball exiting an Italian jail, we learn that Snooki gets her license taken away. “Eh, shit happens,” she says.

Snooki has little time to think about her few hours in jail because Jionni is on his way to Florence. The gang heads out the night before and Snooki, deciding she wants to stay in and calm her nerves (get sober), stays in. She ends up letting Britney, whose parents are probably so proud of her enlightening semester studying abroadg, wait in Mike’s bed.

The next day, Snooki, while drinking a glass of Pinot to calm her nerves, tries on her finest attire for turning tricks in anticipation of her boyfriend’s arrival. She loves Jionni so much and explains that he’s “like Crocadilly, but alive.” When Jionni arrives, she hugs him and makes a b-line for the smush room, telling the Mario Brother that he doesn’t even have to shower first.

When the gang plus Jionni goes out later that night, Mike is glaring at Jionni in anticipation of a fight that probably won't happey. We learn from Deena that, though, that “Mike’s new thing is karate,” and he apparently wants to Kung Foo Panda all over Jionni. Jionni doesn’t have time to fight with Mike, because he’s too busy fighting with his girlfriend. When he sees Snooki lift up her dress while dancing, giving everyone a free show, he gets pissed and storms off. No one gets why he’s angry because “he’s dating Snooki,” and who hasn’t seen her lady parts? Undeterred, Jionni storms off while Snooki cries and falls all over cobblestone yelling for Jionni and telling everyone who tried to help her that she hates them. Vinny semi-cheers her up when they get back to the apartment, letting Snooki know that Jionni will surely come back. It isn’t because he loves her, though. He just needs to get his passport to get the fuck away from her.

HIGH Pauly continues his reign over the roommate most deserving of a spin-off when, during Snooki’s massive blowout with Jionni, a confused Mike asks what happened, genuinely replied, “Who cares?”

Also, some good came of a sobbing Snooki. Sammi, upon seeing someone else’s pain while fighting with their boyfriend, has an epiphany. “Watching them is like watching a movie of me and Ron,” she tells Pauly. “Now I fucking get it.”

LOW Sammi, who seems to think she's no longer the poster child for textbook monogamy dysfunction as of two episodes ago, will not quit with her sideline commentary of other people’s relationships. When JWOWW is crying that Roger can’t make his planned trip to Italy because he can’t take time off work, Sammi chimes in that “its bullshit.” No, Sammi, what’s bullshit is getting a futon AND a suitcase thrown at you by your boyfriend on two separate occasions and still going back for more.

Posted by Diana Palmieri @ 12:00 PM Permalink | Post a comment

Comments (0)

Q&A with SHARI SOLANIS: "The goal isn't pornography"
SEXY TIME Q&A: I've never had an orgasm during sex with a man — and I'm 30!
NOW SEE THIS: Transit cop arrests marijuana activist for alleged disorderly conduct.
CONCERT REVIEW: Primus (3D & quadraphonic sound) @ The Tower 10/17
What we're trying to do this weekend
Q&A with Tony Goldwyn: "Life is gray, and relationships are, too"
ICEPACK ILLUSTRATED: Indian fare rules, Dunder Mifflin lives on, Tom Jones is a god
Bradley Cooper promises he's not an asshole
Q&A with Goon’s Seann William Scott
CITY PAPER WRITING CONTEST 2013: Send stories! Send poetry!

About this blog

Featuring everything from event roundups to concert reviews and sex talk, City Paper's Critical Mass is a space for off-the-wall coverage of Philly's A&E scene.

Follow Critical Mass editors Patrick Rapa and Emily Guendelsberger on Twitter:

@mission2denmark | @emilygee

Search this blog:

Topics:

Blog archives:

May
April
March

February
January

Past Archives: