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SHORE TRASH: "Sight see, go hard, leave"
Last week's episode chronicles the last few days that Italy has to endure the gang.
SHORE TRASH: “Sight see, go hard, leave”
Diana Palmieri recaps the final episode of Jersey Shore.
Last week’s episode chronicles the last few days that Italy has to endure the gang. Sammi, still on her non-brooding kick this season, enlists Ronnie to help Mike, who no one likes, “snap him out of it.” When they return home from a night at the discoteca, Ronnie corners him (in an unusually non-threatening manner) to pretty much stop acting like the douche he is.
At Pauly, Vinny, and Sammi’s last shift at Marco’s Pizzeria, they one up their history at the Shore Store by actually working. Pauly yells into the microphone and they talk about how much they'll miss the pizzeria. To mark their territory, Marco has everyone bring a piece of clothing to hang on the lines inside the shop. Snooki brings one of her extra leopard-print bras and Deena brings a thong she may or may not have washed. Ronnie voices the thoughts of every viewer watching when he says, “I didn’t even know Deena wore underwear.”
All everyone can do is talk about how they can’t wait to get back to Jersey. Why? They miss tanning beds and familiar drunken debauchery at Karma. The culture and the beauty of Italy is overwhelming, and they have to return to dirty beaches and shit-clogged toilets. Mike still tries to grab attention from the group and even calls his sister to let her know that he doesn’t think he’ll return to Jersey. I have to agree with Sitch’s sister when she tells him “that’s silly” because he will never find another way to make as much money sleeping and lounging in an array of Abercrombie sweatpants all day.
The last day in Italy, everyone decides that a change of pace is in order and they actually leave their house when the sun is up. JWOWW announces that the agenda is, “sight see, go hard, leave.” Of course after weeks of being in Florence, all they have gotten a chance to see are Snooki’s tears and Deena’s cooka. During the tour, everyone feigns mild interest. Even Snooki ponders about the cherubs in a Michelangelo painting. “So, it’s real? The babies with wings?”
After another night out, another Sunday night dinner and more bitching about Mike, the gang is out. “I'm fuckin’ pale,” Pauly says. “I gotta get to Jersey.”
HIGH Ron and Sam sneak in a smush session when the roommates are creepily sitting on the other side of the partition. Pauly remarks how they were only in there for five minutes after doing the daytime walk of shame. “No wonder Sam never smiles!”
LOW At the pizzeria, Snooki helps herself to a helping of fresh mozzarella from behind the counter. Marco tells her, “Hey! Don’t eat my balls.” Ew.
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