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SHORE TRASH: "Twinning!"
Mike bids his American exchange-student girlfriend goodbye, Deena exercises her bisexual tendencies and Vinny and Mike snag a pair of twins.
SHORE TRASH: "Twinning!"
Diana Palmieri with dish on last night's episode of Jersey Shore.
This episode begins as Mike bids farewell to the American study-abroad student (her parents must be thrilled with all she’s learning in Italy!) he’s been hooking up with by saying, “Okay, get out.” After kamikaze pigeons startle him from his nap on the terrace, we’re treated to a Snooki and Ronnie montage. The two are pals, bonding over their love for working out with creepy Italian men and their inability to read a map. Ron is apparently sucking so badly at navigating the roads of Florence that Snooki tells him she wants to punch him. “I’m gonna punch myself,” he tells her. Personally, I’d really like to see that happen.
Deena is apparently the Snooki circa-season one in Florence, looking for love and whining to anyone who will listen. She’s thrilled when she meets an Italian waiter who “actually speaks well English.” She meets him out later that night at the bar, where Sammi tries to drunkenly fondle Ronnie again. Mike’s American girl, Brittany, shows up and she’s not alone. She’s got a twin! Mike is thrilled to meet Erica, the second of the Double Mint Sluts, and he plots a threesome.
When Sammi and Ronnie have another drunk conversation about their relationship, Sammi tells him she’s not the same girl she was in Jersey. And she’s not. That girl was a smaller bra size. Nevertheless, Ron takes her on a date the next day, where they promptly board the trainwreck that is their relationship, and Sammi proclaims, “I haven’t felt this happy in 20 years,” which sounds about right. Pauly and Vinny exclaim that the two are back together later that night. How do they know? “When they’re together they both wear black. It’s like a funeral,” Vinny explains.
The rest of the episode is pretty exhausting, as it takes place in what I’m guessing was a six-hour span. Before they left the club that night, Deena intercepts one of Mike’s twins, and starts kissing the girl herself, even after she’s brought her home. When Deena leaves the room for a second, the girl climbs into Vinny’s bed, until Deena arrives again. The game of slutty ping pong continues and Vinny ultimately ends up with the grand prize.
Meanwhile, the Sitch comes out of the bag — tacky rosaries, Abercrombie sweatpants, and all — when Ronnie blabs to the girls about the rumored Mike and Snooki hookup and effectively crumbles whatever was left of guy code. Snooki freaks out and Mike conjures an expression not even crawling toward remorse. After Deena and Vinny’s game of slutty ping pong, Vinny ultimately ends up with one twin, and Mike rounds up the other when he finishes arguing with Snooki.
The biggest surprise of the episode, besides Ronnie’s rational demeanor, JWOWW’s frozen face thanks to a few too many impulse purchases of Botox injections, or even Deena’s bi-curious tendencies? I actually like Sammi this season! Okay, I tolerate her.
HIGH: When Mike introduces Brittany’s twin, Pauly exclaims, “Twinning!” Perhaps not realizing that the word can stand alone without any confusion, he goes further to explain the term: “When you have twins it's cool and you’re winning, but you’re twinning, ‘cause you’ve got two twin chicks.”
LOW: Vinny and Pauly giving Deena a hard time when she brings home her Italian Stallion. “I’m not doing sex,” she tells the boys, who are making lewd comments while she’s cuddling her Lean Cuisine. “Well, then stop wasting his time,” Pauly tells her. Blech!
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