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SHORE TRASH: "What the fiat?"
Snooki is stressed out and needs to get away from the mundane - you know, the taxing, daily grind of life in Florence.
SHORE TRASH: "What the fiat?"
Diana Palmieri recaps last night's episode of Jersey Shore.
Snooki is stressed out and needs to get away from the mundane — you know, the taxing, daily grind of life in Florence. Drinking, sleeping 14 hours a day, not running a brush through the skunk on the back of her head, and drunk dialing her boyfriend have proved to be so brutally draining that she needs a vacation from the current vacation she’s paid $100,000 grand an episode to be on.
“Holy Riccione!” Ron exclaims while packing his overnight necessities into a plastic bag, channeling white trash a’la Angelina. Nope, he’s not hurling verbal expletives at Sam while simultaneously throwing luggage at her, he’s just excited for the gang’s trip to the Italian coastal town. After schlepping themselves and their completely reasonable eight bags of luggage strapped to the roofs of the Fiats, they arrive and Pauly is the first to take in the scenery. “It looks like Seaside!”
Lately, all of their outings are conducted similarly to an awkward 6th grade dance, with the boys and girls going their separate ways. The guys decide to site-see, ending up enamored not by the Mediterranean water, but by the look-a-Mike they see at a restaurant, which just means they found a guy with a douchey haircut with the solar system buzzed on his scalp and sunglasses like The Situation’s. The girls, guided by Team Meatball, pay homage to Seaside by getting plastered before 5 p.m.
Watching the two try to control themselves in public and pretend to be civilized is like watching Bambi learn how to walk — if Bambi was a compulsive drinker who preferred not to wear underwear. In this train wreck portion of the episode, Deena literally dances her underpants off and flaunts her downstairs lady bits, Snooki runs into a bush for both every reason and none at all, the two eat dinner with food hanging out of their mouths, Deena again flashes her vagina at the club, they both take drunken stumbles, and finally make out on the way home.
“It smells like hot sweat and regret in here,” Vinny says, seeing the girls still sleeping. When Deena and Snooki wake up, they try to figure out how they ended up in bed together. After learning that they went at it for hours the night before, Snooki is anxious about telling Jionni about how she was a lesbian for a night. I imagine him shrugging his shoulders like the rest of America when he tells Snooki, “all right” and gives her a free pass for mauling Deena. With that phase most definitely not yet out of her system, Snooki and Deena decide to get back into a routine of going to the gym to balance out their excessive drinking. On their way, they hit a cop car, and there’s the episode arc for next week.
All right.
LOW A diversion from the lesbian-centric episode, Pauly expresses his anger/annoyance at Ronnie, who he believes is trying to steal his swag, otherwise known as his tendency to yell “Oh yeah!” after every phrase.
HIGH So, so many to choose from. Up there is JWOWW exclaiming, “This is like the cab ride home!” when Deena and Snooki have a harder time than usual forming a sentence before they even arrive at the club.
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