THE OSCARS: A guide to the less-prestigious categories.

Film crit Michael Gold helps you fill out the iffy technical-category portions of your Oscar ballot sheet.

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THE OSCARS: A guide to the less-prestigious categories.

POSTED: Friday, February 24, 2012, 2:00 PM

It’s hard to pinpoint the exact cause, but something about the Oscars converts casino virgins into wannabe bookies. Artsy scenesters who scoff at Super Bowl pools jump at the opportunity to make a quick buck on Hollywood’s fickle affections. Honestly, who can blame them? With the top categories seeming all but locked up, any money on the line during Hollywood’s premier gala feels like a sure thing.

It’s not. Unless you know anything about the Oscar’s myriad technical categories (you know, the ones Brangelina use as an excuse for a bathroom break) that top prize will probably slip away from you Sunday night. That’s why we’ve got you covered with a guide to the Oscars’ less prestigious categories.

Art Direction – Mirror, mirror on the wall, which film’s the fairest of them all? Fantasy movies and period pictures almost always win this award, and Martin Scorsese’s Hugo manages to be both. Resist the impulse to pick Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows; the boy wizard’s escapades are 0-for-3.

Cinematography – Regrettably, we doubt this category will ever be the same after Avatar nabbed a statute for intricately detailed CGI Smurf sex. To take home an Oscar, cameramen will need gorgeous scenery and spectacular images. Since Tree of Life was more about Emmanuel Lubezki’s sensuous images than any semblance of a plot, it’s the clear pick. Just don’t be surprised if Hugo’s accessible script makes its soaring camerawork sit better with the Academy.

Costume Design –For whatever reason, the Oscar tends to go to British period pieces with no shot at Best Picture, so Madonna’s sumptuous W.E. ought to be a shoo-in. Except, as the Brits say, it was bloody rubbish. The Artist’s flapper dresses and eveningwear were stunning, but black-and-white cinematography means they don’t stand out. Stick with Scorsese and Hugo’s meticulous and vibrant threads.

Film Editing – Silent film only has a cohesive story because of the careful juxtaposition and assembling of shots. That’s why the American Cinema Editors gave The Artist their top editing prize and why the Academy will do the same.

Makeup – A haiku: Voldemort scares us/But turning Streep to Maggie/Was more impressive. (Pick The Iron Lady.)

Sound Editing – Every December, folks who have been handicapping the Oscars for years still look up the difference between sound editing and sound mixing. Editing is supposedly about the specific sound effects themselves, but if the Academy voters acknowledged that, then Transformers: Dark of the Moon would win a trophy, and that just won’t do. War movies tend to do really well with this one, but Steven Spielberg’s War Horse lacks the buzz to nab an Oscar nod. Go with Hugo, whose tech awards sweep will be its consolation prize for losing Best Picture.

Sound Mixing – Remember that friend you had in high school who you really liked, but not enough to invite to the beach with your family? Now remember how you brought said buddy a sand dollar to make up for the exclusion? That’s the same guilt that will grab Hugo a sound mixing Oscar.

Visual Effects – If there were ever a time to question the direction in which Hollywood is moving, this category would be it. The eighth installment of a franchise, a prequel to a reboot, that Rock ’Em Sock ’Em Robots jawn and a Michael Bay movie all sit next to Scorsese’s fantastical period piece. Were Bay not universally reviled by anyone who has ever loved movies, Sunday would be a big night for Transformers: Dark of the Moon. Instead, the uncannily lifelike primates and expert motion capture of Rise of the Planet of the Apes will get the statue instead.

(michael.gold@citypaper.net) (@migold)

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