HILARIOUS RANT: Suck it, Urban Outfitters

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HILARIOUS RANT: Suck it, Urban Outfitters

POSTED: Thursday, March 25, 2010, 2:30 PM

Filed Under: Music | Shopping Fashion

UO.com

Le sigh.

Yeah, yeah, complaining about the authenticity of Philly-based cultural copycats Urban Outfitters is a lost cause, but goddamn if we don't love this rant by Decibel Magazine about their "Classic Rock Boyfriend T-shirt" (pictured at right).

Take it away Jeanne Fury (bolds are ours):

Classifying a piece of clothing as "boyfriend" is apparently common as of late. It's clothing for females cut with a less figure-defining silhouette. We're all familiar with the hideous girly t-shirts (a.k.a. Look At My Tits t-shirts). Throw them in the dryer once and they shrink to Olson Twin size. There goes $25. Stick to a regular goddamn t-shirt and you won't have that problem. Apparently, when we don't feel like squeezing into adorable itty-bitty shirts and further compressing our tits, we're identifying with dudes and thus require "boyfriend" attire. But when Hollywood bad-ass Katharine Hepburn famously wore tailored pants, did people say "Katharine Hepburn wears man pants"? No. Katharine Hepburn wore pants. Tagging band t-shirts with the "boyfriend" label is doubly offensive. The slightest notion that a girl can't have her own Iron Maiden t-shirt is ridiculous. It's 2010. Chicks listen to metal. Like, actually listen to metal. Not because their boyfriends or brothers are into it, but because they love metal. Seriously, how long is this ignorant and annoying misconception gonna go on? Looping back to the original argument, clothes—band t-shirts especially—have no gender. Unless this Maiden shirt comes equipped with a penis and testicles, it's just a fucking t-shirt.

In honor of Fury, and because my BFF went through a period of forcing me to listen to marathon Maiden sessions:

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Featuring everything from event roundups to concert reviews and sex talk, City Paper's Critical Mass is a space for off-the-wall coverage of Philly's A&E scene.

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