IDOL HANDS: American Idol, ...Is it next week yet?

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IDOL HANDS: American Idol, ...Is it next week yet?

POSTED: Thursday, February 18, 2010, 8:00 PM
Filed Under: Music | TV | Idol Hands Watch

We like American Idol. Too much.

Tommy Button: As cruel of bitch as you think Idol may be, she never leaves you with blue balls. We finally got our Top 24, gents. The whole show was kind of a love fest. Because so much time was wasted last night, things had to be expedited. Mostly, we only got the parts of people laughing, hugging and crying tears of joy, which I think is something we can all agree is disgusting. However there was one loser that came as shock — Angela Martin. I can't believe she didn't make it! She was a terrific singer with a great story and lets face it, she ain't getting any younger.

Molly Eichel: For fuck's sake Idol, they let Janell Wheeler through and not Angela Martin?! Do they need anymore white girls with weak voices? No. But the weirdest thing about Prison Angela's dismissal was Kara DioCreepio. She asked if she could sit next to Angela but then stole her entire chair, relegating the poor loser to the armrest. And I thought Kara's biggest mistake in the last couple of episodes was that puffy-sleeved dress.

TB: Never fear though, she promised Seacrest she would be positive. You don't break a promise to Seacrest. I'm glad Crystal Bowersox (referred to from here on out as 'Powersox') made it. I was nervous Powersox might get cut because she still seems a little green. I mean, she thought 3 million people watch this show? This isn't the WNBA playoffs, sweetheart.

ME: Powersox, good one. I think Simon's right, that this isn't her platform. She has dreads, and not in a Jason Castro way, and actual talent, once again unlike Jason Castro. But nobody thought this was Chris Daughtry's platform either and look how far that cueballed motherfucker has gone. As the last couple seasons have shown us anything, it's that the people who can play with their arrangements go the farthest and that's where Powersox has an edge. It's also why GangDad Andrew Garcia will go, at least, Top 5.

TB: Katie Stevens was of course a Top 24 contender. And if I didn't say it before I'm saying it now: Top 5. No doubt. And if I'm wrong, then may this blog may forever be deleted. She also had a little moment with Haeley Vaughn after getting the good news which will no doubt play into a great friendship and a great departure. This may just be that clever television editing but I got nervous while Haeley Vaughn was in the Hot Seat. Simon mentioned that she can be annoying which is a valid point. Her smile is a little TOO big. But I have a nagging suspicion she's gunna be better than Simon gives her credit for.

ME: Already bored of Katie Stevens. She'll go far but she needs to do a lot more to impress me. Otherwise, snoozefest. On the Haeley front, I think she just needs a little coaching. Maybe some vocal training to keep that twang in check. As she was in the Hot Seat last night, I kept yelling "Haeley Vaughn, I will vote for you every week!" And when she finally said her name, I was actually out of breath. My neighbors may or may not have called the cops. So, yeah, I'm invested.

TB: Damn you, AI. Just when I thought you were a thoughtful and attentive lover you make me chose between Andrew Garcia and Thaddeus Johnson! NOOOOOOOOOOO! Andrew Garcia is definitely the better singer and I'm with him all the way. I've officially just made him my Season 9 Danny Gokey. But, dammit, if my heart didn't break when I saw Thaddeus get the boot. Poor kid is only 16 years old. But then, just when I thought my cold heart had melted, I saw Andrew Garcia on the phone with his dad and I found something inside I didn't know was there before.

ME: I got a little teary-eyed when they let Thaddeus go, especially because they said he didn't do anything wrong. Seriously, they let uber white boy Lee Dewyze go through and sass factory/momma's boy Thaddeus Johnson? I expect to see him back next year. Also for those keeping score at home, Mike Lynche didn't get the boot from the Top 24, probably because he was so likable. So I've been sticking pins in an American Idol voodoo doll for naught. But they did replace curly haired Chris Golightly with Tim Urban because Golightly's previous recording contracts. He's cute but no Thaddeus so I immediately hate him.

TB: Fuck.

ME: Yeah.

TB: I can not wait for next week.

Judges' Table

TB: Once again, a non-judging episode for the judges. They just had to deliver news. So as far as that goes, here's the breakdown:

Ellen = Jon Stewart
Randy
= Brian Williams
Simon = Tom Brokaw
Kara = Chris Matthews

Molly, give us our Top 24 list please.

ME: Goddamnit, Tommy, do I have to do everything around here:

  • Andrew Garcia
  • Tyler Grady
  • Alex Lambert
  • Janell Wheeler
  • Crystal Bowersox
  • Joe Munoz
  • John Park
  • Jermaine Sellers
  • Lacey Brown
  • Michelle Delamor
  • Siobhan Magnus
  • Paige Miles
  • Ashley Rodriguez
  • Lilly Scott
  • Katie Stevens
  • Haeley Vaughn
  • Tim Urban
  • Didi Benami
  • Lee Dewyze
  • Katelyn Epperly
  • Aaron Kelly
  • Casey James
  • Todrick Hall
  • Michael "Big Mike" Lynche
sandy@kleid
Posted 2010-02-28 05:04:31
I watch American Idol everytime, but it is just because I am bored and not for the show.
Posted by Molly Eichel @ 8:00 PM  Permalink | Post a comment
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