IDOL HANDS: American Idol, Judge-ment Day

We like American Idol. Too much. Tommy Button: I've spent a lot of time these past few months finding new ways to describe Lee Dewyze's lack of personality. He still no Rip Taylor but I got to hand it to the guy for really coming out of his shell these past few weeks. Inch by inch, he's been nipping at Powersox's heels and this week he made it abundantly clear that he's not only caught up, but he's the motherfucker to beat. Molly Eichel: Yeah, Dewyze made that obvious last night but it's all so middling, ya know? I'm just so sick of white boys and their guitars pretending like their the first ones to harness the power of the cock. Lee makes me I miss the pop stars days of Idol when a girl or boy who could belt it commanded the stage. Do I think Lee could vocally take on a Kelly Clarkson or a Fantasia? No. Right now he's competing against Powersox, someone very similar to his own style and I want to see a pop v. rock battle royale. Is it too late to bring back Angela Martin? TB: Everyone pretty much shit the bed on personal song choice, except for Lee. Powersox's "Come To My Window" was about as predictable as her Janis Joplin performance a couple weeks back. And her mouth did this weird Joker smile when she screamed "windoooooooow." ME: I didn't hate on the arrangement as much as everyone else, it wasn't an Andrew Garcia shamefest or Tim Urban's sounds of hell hounds barking.But yeah, this is one of those "Ricky Martin comes out" moments. It was like "Go back about your business. There's nothing to see here." TB: I honestly can't remember what Casey James' personal song choice was but it sounded like what Bob Seger and Huey Lewis' baby would sound like. ME: That song was like Casey asking to get the boot. Like when Jason Castro would come on stage all bloodshot eyes and muffled giggles and you could tell that his vocal exercises consisted of hitting the bong (or the vaporizer. Better for the vocal cords). TB: The songs chosen by the judges suited the contestants much better than their own. Sucks for Casey, though. Clearly, the judges want this country boy ousted — why else would they chose one of the most boring songs written by one of the douchiest performers ever? ME: I can't help but listen to John Mayer and think about how much of a perv he is, so I had to tune out. But I have another bone to pick with the judges: Everyone keeps saying, "You're such a wonderful person." But what makes them so great? That they made it all the way on a reality television show, based on pretty superficial behavior? Like, Mahler Wagner (Thanks Shooki!) was a genius but he was still a Nazi fuck. If Gandhi guest hosts the next ep, then sure, go for the wonderful person line. But Casey James is not a good person solely because he has nice hair and makes housewives feel all hot and bothered. TB: All in all, it's pretty clear at this point it's gunna be Powersox v. Dewyze come finals time, but I think Powersox may end this season wearing the second place pants. I just hope they come in American flag prints, like Mr. Powersox. Shooki Posted 2010-05-22 17:26:55

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IDOL HANDS: American Idol, Judge-ment Day

POSTED: Wednesday, May 19, 2010, 7:43 PM

Filed Under: Music | TV Idol Hands

We like American Idol. Too much. Tommy Button: I've spent a lot of time these past few months finding new ways to describe Lee Dewyze's lack of personality. He still no Rip Taylor but I got to hand it to the guy for really coming out of his shell these past few weeks. Inch by inch, he's been nipping at Powersox's heels and this week he made it abundantly clear that he's not only caught up, but he's the motherfucker to beat. Molly Eichel: Yeah, Dewyze made that obvious last night but it's all so middling, ya know? I'm just so sick of white boys and their guitars pretending like their the first ones to harness the power of the cock. Lee makes me I miss the pop stars days of Idol when a girl or boy who could belt it commanded the stage. Do I think Lee could vocally take on a Kelly Clarkson or a Fantasia? No. Right now he's competing against Powersox, someone very similar to his own style and I want to see a pop v. rock battle royale. Is it too late to bring back Angela Martin? TB: Everyone pretty much shit the bed on personal song choice, except for Lee. Powersox's "Come To My Window" was about as predictable as her Janis Joplin performance a couple weeks back. And her mouth did this weird Joker smile when she screamed "windoooooooow." ME: I didn't hate on the arrangement as much as everyone else, it wasn't an Andrew Garcia shamefest or Tim Urban's sounds of hell hounds barking.But yeah, this is one of those "Ricky Martin comes out" moments. It was like "Go back about your business. There's nothing to see here." TB: I honestly can't remember what Casey James' personal song choice was but it sounded like what Bob Seger and Huey Lewis' baby would sound like. ME: That song was like Casey asking to get the boot. Like when Jason Castro would come on stage all bloodshot eyes and muffled giggles and you could tell that his vocal exercises consisted of hitting the bong (or the vaporizer. Better for the vocal cords). TB: The songs chosen by the judges suited the contestants much better than their own. Sucks for Casey, though. Clearly, the judges want this country boy ousted — why else would they chose one of the most boring songs written by one of the douchiest performers ever? ME: I can't help but listen to John Mayer and think about how much of a perv he is, so I had to tune out. But I have another bone to pick with the judges: Everyone keeps saying, "You're such a wonderful person." But what makes them so great? That they made it all the way on a reality television show, based on pretty superficial behavior? Like, Mahler Wagner (Thanks Shooki!) was a genius but he was still a Nazi fuck. If Gandhi guest hosts the next ep, then sure, go for the wonderful person line. But Casey James is not a good person solely because he has nice hair and makes housewives feel all hot and bothered. TB: All in all, it's pretty clear at this point it's gunna be Powersox v. Dewyze come finals time, but I think Powersox may end this season wearing the second place pants. I just hope they come in American flag prints, like Mr. Powersox.

Shooki

Posted 2010-05-22 17:26:55

Mahler was a nazi? Do you mean Wagner?

Posted by Molly Eichel @ 7:43 PM Permalink | Post a comment

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