IDOL HANDS: American Idol, Leaving us hanging

The Web site for the award-winning alternative weekly, the Philadelphia City Paper.

0 comments

IDOL HANDS: American Idol, Leaving us hanging

POSTED: Wednesday, February 17, 2010, 6:15 PM

Filed Under: Music | TV | Idol Hands Watch

We like American Idol. Too much.

Tommy Button: Let me make it easy for you.

Guys: Big Mike (not really, though), Casey James, Aaron Kelly, Lee Dewyze, Todrick Hall
Girls: Didi Benami, Katelyn Epperly

Molly Eichel: My verdict? Casey James, Todrick Hall and Didi Benami (although, girly needs to keep the tears in check) are the only ones who make it past semis, only because of the tragedy that is Big Mike and his dismissal from the show (once again, a giant fuck you to the Idol producers). Also: Todrick Hall, how did I not know you are hilarious? Loved it when you asked those white girls if they would marry you. "Would your parents be okay with it? Do they know that I'm black?"

TB: "But wait," you say, "that's only 7 people. I thought they put 24 through." You're right, my friend. They do. But American Idol wants us to sweat the next 24 hours out while we wait for the rest of the list. These mind games are too much for someone with such a weak brain to begin with. But it does leave me with not much to say. I can't complain about who didn't get in (because they still might), and so far there haven't been any real shockers of who didn't get in (but there still might be, as teased last night). Although Jessica Furney was pretty taken aback.

ME: I like how she blames her group for giving her the boot, but considering she was the only one who actually got praise, I'm pretty sure she only got kicked off 'cause she sucked ass. Sweetheart, impassioned pleas only work when you're pretty, because your heaving bosom distracts from why you were terrible in the first place. Tommy and I know from firsthand experience. His knockers are huge.

TB: The only souls we can mourn are those poor bastards in Room 2. One of which is Mary Powers, who I was not broken up out seeing leave. But seeing Llyod Thomas, that big weepy teddy bear, get sent home is the type of thing that gets me all teary-eyed, ya know, if I cried in the first place. I can't say I didn't see it coming. Off the stage he had a personality that was big and bold, yet he never really found his footing while performing. I was sad to see Hope Johnson, as well. But another one who never really hit her stride in time. Like most of the finer things in life she has to mature some before reaching her zenith.

ME: Farewell Crazy Eyes Powers. Bring the Turbo Bitch act back to the Bennigan's I've decided you work out. But Hope wasn't ready. Go back to the trailer park, sweetie, and maybe next year she can be one of those flashback success stories, like Angela Martin is this year. By the way, I still love Angela. And because Prison Matt got kicked off and Angie missed last year's Hollywood week because she was in the clink, I will heretofore refer to her as Prison Angela. On the topic of people I have major boners for, I would vote for Haley Vaughn for president. Especially if GangDad Andrew Garcia was her running mate and Crystal Bowersox was her secretary of state.

Judges' Table

TB: All in all, a waste of time. Besides Ellen's bits here and there like when she kept leading Katelyn Epperly on, there weren't too many highlights for me.

ME: There were a couple bright spots. I like the way that Ellen and Kara's relationship is developing, even though I still hate Kara as much as Randy loves wearing those black skinny jeans with the gold rhinestoned-lined pockets (considering how ludicrous he looked in them, I'm going to say a lot). When Casey James walked in, Ellen said, "Oh look, he has his hair down for you." To which Kara replied, "Oh, nice!" Keep the laughs coming ladies.

TB: Still, Idol should have just waited until tonight to give us the Top 24, not this seven bullshit. Quit teasing me, guys, seriously.

Posted by Molly Eichel @ 6:15 PM Permalink | Post a comment

0 comments

Previous Story: Sebastian Bach saves Axl Rose's life!

Next Story: PROJECT RUNWAY: Episode 6, Little Darlings

Comments (0)

PHILLY LOVE NOTES: An ode to Spruce Street
Q&A with SHARI SOLANIS: "The goal isn't pornography"
ICE CUBE: In Memoriam: Joe Tartaglia
CONCERT REVIEW & PHOTOS: James Blake @ TLA 5/11
What we're trying to do this weekend
SEXY TIME Q&A: I've never had an orgasm during sex with a man — and I'm 30!
Coming soon to Philly: Two cockamamie movie promotion schemes
Q&A with Tony Goldwyn: "Life is gray, and relationships are, too"
CONCERT REVIEW: Primus (3D & quadraphonic sound) @ The Tower 10/17
ICEPACK ILLUSTRATED: The Archbishop meets the Geator, the Mayor goes suit shopping, Le Bec Fin fin.

About this blog

Featuring everything from event roundups to concert reviews and sex talk, City Paper's Critical Mass is a space for off-the-wall coverage of Philly's A&E scene.

Follow Critical Mass editors Patrick Rapa and Emily Guendelsberger on Twitter:

@mission2denmark | @emilygee

Search this blog:

Topics:

Blog archives:

May
April
March

February
January

Past Archives: