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IDOL HANDS: American Idol, The Eliminator, Round 1
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IDOL HANDS: American Idol, The Eliminator, Round 1
We like American Idol. Too much.
Tommy Button: Master of Suspense, Ryan Seacrest guided us through an hour of programming to provide us with 30 seconds of information. Actually, it took an extra 15 for me to realize how drunk Allison Iraheta was. But since we're all here, we might as well discuss went down.
The Top 24 had their first group performance with "American Boy" which, believe or not, was better than it sounds. I thought Powersox would be all over the place but she held it together nicely while Tim Urban scooted around like a hermit crab. After the formalities, Seacrest got down to business and dropped some knowledge.
Janell Wheeler was the first to get the bad news. Shocker, I know but it's better this way. It's early in the game so it'll only hurt a little, like ripping off a band-aid. And her swan song was pretty good if she was trying to sound like an actual dying bird. Later, white girl.ME: Thank heavens. Janell was about to give me a coronary, partly caused by unnecessary pop culture infatuation.
TB: Ashley Rodriguez was the next to get the boot. Great job, America. Kick off the hot Spanish chick. You blew it. I'm not saying Ashley was gonna go on to change the world or anything but give her another week, people. You're gunna send the good looking Latina and let Lacey Brown get away with that? I thought we turned a corner, America.
ME: Whoa! Not expecting this at all. Ashley didn't deserve her fate this early. But I figure when it comes to the hot Latina chicks, she splits the votes with the equally uninspiring Michelle Delamor. Both are smokin', but the hotness scale tips towards Delamor. Don't worry, Lacey Brown will go next week and you'll have your vengeance.
TB: Joe Munoz, I could care less about, but just the fact that it was between him and Tim Urban and Tim Urban got off the hook is truly horrific. I get it. He's pretty. But even he was shocked he got to stay. Joe Munoz, like Ashley Rodriguez, not great, but certainly not the worse. America saw a pretty face and fell for it. I'm not mad. Just disappointed.
ME: Joe Munoz's crime was having Peter Gallagher eyebrows. Sayonara Joe, it's sad to see you leave.
TB: The question of Alex Lambert or Tyler Grady might as well have been decided by flipping a coin. Really couldn't care either way. I'm just so upset about Tim Urban. Did I mention that? I will not stop until he is off my TV and in a Macy's catalog.
ME: Tyler didn't really want it. I think he needs to go back to the dorm room where can rip the bong, pound the skins and hit on half-conscious chicks with his pseudo-'70s vibe. Being on TV should get him laid for six months at least.
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