IDOL HANDS: American Idol, The Eliminator, Round 2

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IDOL HANDS: American Idol, The Eliminator, Round 2

POSTED: Friday, March 5, 2010, 4:29 PM

Filed Under: Music | TV | Idol Hands Watch

We like American Idol. Too much.

Tommy Button: The irony of the group performance of "I Gotta Feeling" as an Elimination Night opener was almost too much. No big surprises last night. In fact, if you care to review the record you'll see that I already told you this was gonna happen yesterday.

Molly Eichel: Fish. Barrel. Meet American Idol.

TB: John Park is back to bong rips and N'Sync covers with Purple Haze.

ME: He just didn't have the star power to make it. I thought Todrick Hall was worse, but at least he got zazz. John Park was zazzless.

TB: Jermaine Sellers is trading in his bow tie for a Windsor knot.

ME: Aw, no more inadvertently making yourself out to be a giant douche on live television. Also to bandleader Michael: You're welcome.

TB: Haeley Vaughn FINALLY stopped smiling.

ME: We had high hopes, we had high hopes, we had high apple pie, in the sky up in the hiiiiigh hopes ... that were dashed when she opened your mouth.

TB: Michelle Delamor had to sing Creed for a second time (which is bad for everybody.)

ME: Tommy, I was impressed that you called this one. I thought she was safe and Didi was going home but Jesus must hate Creed as much as the rest of us. I think the bad half-prom dress and jeans combo she wore on Wednesday had something to do with it. Her outfit looked like something Stephanie Seymour would wear in the "November Rain" video. But, once again, I ask, how is Lacey Brown still on this show?

TB: To break the tension, a coked up Danny Gokey even showed up with a little country ditty that gives the impression he's over his dead wife and ready to plow through some strippers.

ME: What!? How could you turn on our boy Totes McGokes. Yeah, he looks like he spent more nights wishing he hadn't done blow off that hooker's ass than not, but he wasn't that bad.

TB: I love the guy and all but somewhere in the subsequent year, Danny seems to have fallen in the wrong crowd. It was probably the advice that damn Randy Travis gave him.

Lindsey

Posted 2010-03-05 21:22:45

how you gonna play danny like that? i thought for sure your box was gonna be blown super hard on sight alone after not having it blown for a whole year.

Posted by Molly Eichel @ 4:29 PM Permalink | Post a comment

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Featuring everything from event roundups to concert reviews and sex talk, City Paper's Critical Mass is a space for off-the-wall coverage of Philly's A&E scene.

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