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We like American Idol. Too much.
Tommy Button: When the night starts off with Ellen Degeneres sitting on the lap of Simon Cowell, you know it's gonna be a rough one. This was the girls last chance at Top 12 dreams and only three of them really sang like it. Besides the physical discomfort of sitting through the performances, the show itself was all over the place. Seacrest and the judges were bouncing off the walls with anxiety because they had to find some way to cram the show within a reasonable amount of time. I'll try to waste slightly less of your time.
Molly Eichel: Eh, it wasn't so bad. No surprises but other than Lacey Brown lessening the degree to which I wanted to punch her in the face.
TB: Powersox was far and away the best of the night. She was in fact the polar opposite of Paige Miles. A soulful white girl with a cool streak in her as long as Route 66.
ME: I feel bad always praising Powersox as my favoe, but what are you gonna do? She took Tracy Chapman's "Give Me One Reason," a song very much associated with its artist, slapped it upside the head and said, "Look Tracy, you're super cool and all. You can play the didgeridoo, your arms are jacked and you have a beautifully distinctive voice. But I'm motherfucking Crystal Bowersox, bitch." Also, she looked so glamorous tonight!
TB: Look at her. Just sitting on her amp like a fucking champ. Mission Blow It Out The Box: Accomplished. Seeing Powersox right before just proved that Lilly Scott has got to step it up a bit otherwise she's gonna get left in the dust. Sure, Lilly's consistently good but it's turning into a bit of the same ol' same ol'.
ME: Amen, Tom-Tom. I like her arrangements but they're too small. She needs to come out huge next time or I'm afraid that some lesser boys will take her down. Although, word to Patsy Cline.
TB: Didi Benami gets second billing. She was able to outshine Lilly, who up to this point has been her toughest competition.
ME: Didi took my second best spot too with Fleetwood Mac's "Rhianna." I love the tone of her voice. Unlike Lilly (who needs a wow moment to remind us who she is), I think all of this no wow moment blather from the judges is bullshit. Stevie Nicks never has wow moments either and she has one of the greatest voices in all of pop music. Here's my problem with Didi, though: Her strongest songs are all of these, slow quiet version of songs and I'm worried she's one-note.
TB: Do I think Didi can keep up this momentum? Hell no. But at least she ain't throwing in the towel yet. I heard it through the grapevine that Seacrest is tapping dat. And by grapevine, I mean Spike Eskin at WYSP pointed out that last week Sea-man gave Didi a little hand grab after her performance. AND HE DID IT AGAIN THIS WEEK!!! Leave a little room for the lord, you two. She still has at least one more week of Seacrest hand grabs in her future
ME: I'm embarrassed to say this because I've kicked her in the balls a couple times before, but I loved Siobhan Magnus' "House of the Rising Sun." Perfect song choice for her range, perfect execution. I was totally digging Snaggle Tooth Siobhan last night.
TB: I'm glad Simon finally pointed out the mind boggling weirdness of this girl. There seems to be some box blowing moments in Snaggle Tooth Siobhan and she's gonna go far. But for me, she's always gonna seem like the pot dealer's weird girlfriend. Except she's not making me any hand-blown pipes.
ME: Worst by far goes to Paige Miles with "Smile."
TB: Way to shit the bed, Paige. I want to go more in depth than say she sucked but that seems to be the best I can do right now. But hey, if she's not gonna try, why should I?
ME: Not only did she sing this poorly, but Janelle Monae did the same thing and did it better. Check it:
Aw, Paige. Don't worry, you're not the only one who deserves to cry. Because Katelyn Epperly did one of the most mediocre versions of Carole King's "I Hear the Earth Move" I've ever heard. She didn't tweak the arrangement that much, but what she did ruined the momentum of the song. Look, if you're gonna fuck with someone who knows how to structure pop song like a finely crafted mystery (keeps you holding on until you can barely take it anymore ... then pay off), you either go nuts or keep it simple. I wish she had sung it as a ballad like last week. Actually, I just wish Siobhan had sung this song too.
TB: Quite frankly, I do not understand what the judges were talking about. Her hair looked like a rat's nest. This was Katelyn Epperly's third (and hopefully final) shot at impressing me and she failed. I bet Epperly is the kind of person who strikes out in kickball.
ME: I think she'll stick around because she's smokin' hot (and I've got a soft spot for her because she's got Sharon Pinkenson's hair). Even though she wasn't that bad this week, I still am gonna hate on Lacey Brown. Her version of Brandy Carlisle's "The Story" wasn't balls-out awful, but I still don't think she's top 12 material.
TB: The judges thought it was her best yet it was still awful. Lacey is in the same boat as Katie Stevens — her success is totally dependent on someone else failing. So basically, Lacey shouldn't focus on singing so much as sabotage at this point.
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