IDOL HANDS: American Idol, You've been Powersoxed

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IDOL HANDS: American Idol, You've been Powersoxed

POSTED: Wednesday, May 26, 2010, 9:27 PM

Filed Under: TV Idol Hands

We like American Idol. Too much.

Molly Eichel: Full disclosure: My party and I totally spent the last ten minutes after Idol redialing Powersox's numbers. But we'll get to that: Lee Dewyze may have shown some pep in the last couple of weeks but he looked scared shitless last night. Starting with his rebooted "The Boxer" from inspirational night. TB: In general, Lee shit the bed last night. But he hasn't been put to pasture just yet. Voters don't tend to really vote on who sings best at the finale but rather stick to their favorite. Even if their favorite spends their his last moments on American Idol putzing around stage trying to conjure up moments of former glory. ME: But what we were looking at wasn't even end-of-season Lee. that was middle of the season Lee, before he grew the sack necessary to use bagpipes in his backing band. At first I thought we were getting the Crystal Bowersox of the last couple weeks when she pulled out her version of Janis Joplin's "Me and Bobby McGee." It was a wheelhouse song, but she still performed it better than Lee. It was like this all night: Lee was the shitty opener you talk loudly through, while Powersox was the one you came to see. TB: Way better than Lee's. And yeah, it's kind of a cop out to whip out the wheelhouse in the final round. It's just a little obvious. I mean, even the Boss closes with a different song practically each night. Give us something unexpected. ME: I'm calling unfair on Nigel's pick for the night! Lee gets a canonical song that will live forever — R.E.M.'s "Everybody Hurts" — and Powersox gets "Black Velvet"?! Are they trying make her lose? After sucking out every bit of intimacy, Simon just mind-fucked Lee during his critique, reminding him of the importance of the night and how he needed to come out swinging. He might as well have held up a kitty and said, "Do well, or the kitty gets it." Simon needed a cig after that one. TB: Hold on, Lee. Hold on. ME: Then poor Powersox had to suffer through "Black Velvet." Granted, this is probably the type of song she should have been doing all along to get the votes but it's a bullshit song, meant more for people like Nikki McKibben, who was almost asking for drug dependency when she signed on for the American Idol. Still, Powersox sun the shit out of it. TB: I didn't think it was the worst song ever but it certainly wasn't the best. It was a song that coulda been chosen by while she was still just Top 12. Sure, she gave that song a good ass kicking, but it still didn't feel like final performance material. ME: And then... And then... Lee tried to cover a U2's "Beautiful Day." Look, I don't respect Bono for much. But I respect Lee even less. TB: Great idea, Lee. Sing the anthem of the douches for your final song. Just great. ME: ...And then, with her final performance of Patty Griffin's "Up to the Mountain," Powersox gave us the moment we were hoping for all season long.

TB: Powersox just might have put the final nail in Lee's coffin. She clearly outperformed Lee, but that doesn't mean anyone in America gives a shit or that Powersox will win.

ME: So who is going to take it all? TB: If you made me call it: Lee Dewyze. ME: Agreed. Should be Powersox, probably going to be Lee. Because if there's one thing America loves, it's uncontroversial, middling rock 'n' roll.

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