Idol Hands: Judge's Pick - Top 3

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Idol Hands: Judge's Pick - Top 3

POSTED: Thursday, May 14, 2009, 4:17 PM

We like American Idol ' too much.

Adam Lambert - "One" by U2 , "Crying" by Aerosmith

Tommy Button: Wow. Adam Lambert singing U2.' This is what it's like when douche collides. He sang well and I'm sure Bono is very proud but I coulda done without that song. And Simon seemed pretty pleased with his choice, that smug lobsterback. I used to like you, Cowell, till I learned you were cohorts with an Irishman whose neither a raging alcoholic nor unreasonably violent. Where's the craic in that? Anyway, I don't care how much you might like ol' Lamby Pants, the beginning wasn't that enjoyable. I don't know if it was 'technicially' good singing or whatever but alls I know is I wouldn't listen to that twice.

Molly Eichel: I hated this arrangement. I just have no idea why he slowed it down when he could have made it really great and anthemic but instead it was kinda treacly and overdone. But I guess that's what Adam does best, taking the core emotion of a song and amping it up 5000 times. I usually like Simon, he's blunt and know what he's talking about. He should have a bigger ego than everyone else because he's the only real A&R rep in the bunch. But I just wanted to smack the fucking smirk off of his face tonight. You're friends with Bono? La-dee-fucking-da. I'm friends with Tommy Button. What up, suckas?

TB: And as for "Crying"...I thought since we were in the semis Lambert would pull some crazy shit like perform as a one man band ' la Dick Van Dyke while juggling tigers but this was pretty safe. I was actually looking forward to the Adam self-pick song so I would have something to lam-blast but there isn't much to say because Adam Lambert is going to win. Probably. He's probably going to win and it's been sucking the fun outta the past 4 weeks.' He's hamming it up too much for the camera, making weird faces ' being all razzle dazzle Broadway. I'm sure his performances look great from the back of the theater but in a close up 15ft from my face, it's a little too much. It all adds to the general air of over-confidence I get from him. He's giving attitude instead of just having fucking attitude. He should hit up 42nd St.; I'm sure someone's lookin for a new Danny Zuko.

ME: His performance was over the top, blah blah blah. But can we just talk about how much I loved this music video when I was kid? Alicia Silverstone! Stephen Dorff! Sawyer from Lost! Oh the memories. Excuse me while I have an Clueless/Excess Baggage double feature in my mind.

Kris Allen - "Apologize" by One Republic, "Heartless" by Kanye West

TB: I'm gunna blame the awful choice of "Apologize" on Kara and not Randy. Why is she even getting a say? She's a noob. I really hope the producers bar her from next season. She's a monster that needs to be stopped. Regardless, he sang fine. His voice fucked up in a few places but he's so damn natural that it's pretty forgivable and endearing in a way.' It wasn't earth shaking or anything. He sung the song like sounds which is cool or whatever but what's really helping Kris is that he's really come out as the cool guy in the past few weeks. He's attractive. He's laid back. Who doesn't like attractive, laid back people? Ugly, uptight assholes.

That's right. I answer my own rhetorical questions.

ME: I'm gonna blame Kara too, mainly because I don't like her and wished she would wear less lip gloss. I agree with Simon, it was ludicrous for them to pick a song for Kris and expect him to change the arrangement. I think if they really wanted him to do something different, they should have picked a song that sits in his vocal range but was not anything like his normal genres (white boy soft rock). Like some Stevie Wonder, or another higher-register soul singer.

TB: His "Heartless" was alright, I guess. The only thing that bothered me about it was that it sounded like something that asshole who always plays acoustic guitar at parties would play.' Kinda wanted to go John Belushi on him at points. I gotta say, though,' he had the best song combo. Like those could follow each other in a set list. What's nice about him is that he's definitly classifiable. You can put him in a genre and that's always helpful on a show like American Idol. The judges say they want someone who can span a ton of genres, but really they want 'em to be able to span about 3 or 4 genres which Kris Allen does quite nicely.

ME: Tommy, are you drunk? This could have been a disaster and it wasn't and I have to give him at least four high fives for that. Yeah, it had a whiff of he's-totally-gonna-play-"Stairway"-next but I think this was a bold song choice and he took care of it. Kris is also lucky because Allison was a little rock goddess and her fans are much more likely to translate over to Kris than to the soulful Danny

Danny Gokey -"Dance, Little Sister" , "You Are So Beautiful" by Joe Cocker

TB: Danny Gokey, we hardly knew ye. He isn't going to win. And he's lucky he made it to the Top 3. He's even lost some of that charm he had in the beginning, but of course, I'll always love you. He shoulda reminded us more of his dead wife. That probaby woulda clinched it. "Dance, Little Sister" was just alright to me. My box was grooving but not really blowing it in any manner.

ME: I'm gonna blame Paula for this. Terrence Trent D'Arby? Does she know is not 1992 anymore and American Idol's demo isn't waiting with bated breath for the Terrence Trent D'Arby comeback? Come on! And "Dance Little Sister"?! Ugh, that's not even his best song. Stupid, drunk Paula.

TB: To be honest, I didn't like his second song. I was glad to see the judges so blown away because it makes me think they might know what they're talking about. But if that song was on my shuffle, I'd skip it. Either way, if Danny goes home (which he probably will) he gets to leave after having his performance called fucking 'master class.' That's bad ass.

ME: I hate the beginning of the arrangement but he's always better when he goes big and bold. Agreed, he should have given Dead Wife another shout out. That would have been special

Booted - Danny Gokey

You were a class act till the bitter fucking end and I'll always love you for that. You're my American Idol. Always and forever. xoxo-TB

Spencer

Posted 2009-05-15 17:40:55

Ok. So I appreciated "One" and "Crying" even less than I appreciate Adam's ever darkening eye makeup and stupid outfits.  I thought they were both pretty lame.  Boo.  And Katy Perry? Well she proved once and for all she really is void of talent (by way of her terrible performance) and taste (as witnessed by her Adam Lambert cape).

Kelly

Posted 2009-05-15 18:41:30

So, I'm all for "opinion writers" giving us their opinion.  Fair and balanced doesn't really fit into opinion pieces.  But jeeze you guys.  Could you hate on Adam any more?  It's obvious who you guys are supporting, but you gotta give props to Adam for amazing vocal skills.  Bottom line: the guy can sing.  The competition has simply come down to what style of music you like.  John Mayer vs. Freddie Mercury. Would you have made these comments about Freddie Mercury's attitude and make up? 



BTW, Simon's "pimping" and attitude don't have anything to do with Adam. Is this a critique about Simon or Adam?



Oh, about the attitude.  Watch some personal tape of him in San Diego with his mom and kids. This is a REALLY nice guy.  You guys missed the mark by a mile.

Susan L

Posted 2009-05-16 09:28:17

Check out the studio version of "One" by Adam Lambert. It is, quite simply, beautiful. I agree that the performance was overly dramatic and lost the melody...I have found that when I feel that way about the truncated 1.5 minute version on Idol, the full length recording more than makes up for it (see "Feeling Good" and even "Whole Lotta Love"). You may not think you like Adam Lambert, but if you check out those recordings, you might be surprised, even blown away.

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