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Idol Hands: Top 2 ' Welcome to the Thunderdome
The Web site for the award-winning alternative weekly, the Philadelphia City Paper.
Idol Hands: Top 2 ' Welcome to the Thunderdome
Tommy Button: What a season. Let me just say right off the bat that the ridiculousness of American Idol season 8 has been utterly sublime. After weeks of being pummeled by this emotional juggernaut I can barely stand up straight. My brain has decomposed, packed in skull and hardened to a fossil of flashy lights, Ford music videos, bad song choices, worse outfits, inspirational blind guys, sluts in bikinis, shattered dreams and a shit load mascara and Seacrest. It's like coming off the greatest bender of my life. Over-fucking-whelming. Definitely one of the better seasons. Top 5 were all deserving ; shit, even Top 12. It just got better with time, like a fine wine. Or a herpes outbreak.
Molly Eichel: I'd most definitely have to say this was one of the better seasons talent-wise. When you got to the Top 5, there was no obvious weak link who couldn't own with just one more chance. Like, if we were to equate American Idol seasons to Police Academy movies, this would be Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol. Certainly not the first of its kind but the other seasons didn't include Bobcat Goldthwait so there's really no comparison.
TB: I think my favorite part about this season was Norman Gentle. That beautiful man and his swelling, genius brain that birthed such brilliant performances as "And I Am Telling You." If you had a million Adam Lambert's, Kris Allen's and Danny Gokey's working for a million years you still wouldn't have half the amazing Norman Gentle is. Much like the film Pootie Tang, he could be written off as silly, annoying and maybe even irrelevant but there's some next level shit happening there you didn't even realize!! Norman isn't even real-he's just this made up, Drop Dead Fred version of Nick Mitchell, some guy from Conneticut. And he had no ambition of actually winning American Idol, which makes him the most compelling of any of the others to make it to Hollywood because he was doing something far more ballsy than anybody else on that show. He was bucking up to the theater, the spectactle and the shallowness of American Idol with his own brand of absurdity and completely challenged the conventions of the show. And the judges, the contestants ' they all knew it. You could see the looks of concern, confusion and, at moments, fear in their eyes. What if Norman Gentle is our American Idol messiah, ushering in a new commandment of pure freakish joy, sent here to tear away the shackles of our foreIdols?! However, like most geniuses, Norman was way ahead of the curve and America just didn't get him. They gave him the boot and now he's just another footnote to season 9. Some fucking novelty to write off while oblivious Adam Lambert fans squeak and squawk. Well, Norman Gentle, in the words you so sweetly sang, "We're part of the same place / We're part of the same time / We both share the same blood / We both share the same mind."
ME: I think the real lost talent of this season was poor Allison Iraheta. If that girl had waited until she was old enough to get up onstage and NOT make self mutilation jokes in front of millions of people, I think she would have faired far better. Instead, she's just gonna be that awkward 16-year-old with the Marianne Faithfull/old, weathered prostitute voice. Oh, also remember Lil Rounds and her fantastic ass?
Adam Lambert-"Mad World" ; "A Change is Gonna Come" ; "No Boundaries"
TB: "Mad World" was his first choice and pretty obvious. Not in a bad way, just I think everyone saw that coming. It was about the same as his original performance except this time he apparently just got back from The Matrix. And yeah, a little ridiculous and kind of contrived.
ME: I was surprised he didn't shake this one up a bit, do a different rendition. I think redoing this song was the safest thing he's done all year. That being said, it was really the only choice he could make. But for a guy known for being bonkers, I wish he would have gone out on a limb a bit mmore.
TB: He totally redeemed himself with "A Change Is Gonna Come." That might be the best song ever written and a fantastic song for him to sing.' Believe it or not, I don't have any real complaints with this performance. I love this song more than anything and I think he clinched it.
ME: Agreed, this was all-around fantastic but I think if you have the voice, it's hard to screw up this song. It's that perfect ' structurally, lyrically and melodically. And Adam Lamber has the pipes. He always has. No what's not a perfect song? "No Boundaries." When Simon Cowell made a little dig at it, even Kara was like, "Yeah, this song is kind of bullshit."
TB: But, holy shit, don't get met started on that "No Boundaries" piece of garbage Kara DioAssface calls a song. The lyrics were fucking retarded and I think Adam's arrangement and performance highlighted everything that was wrong and stupid about it. Yes, he sang it well but as my 9th grade science teacher once told me "a piece of shit in a pretty package is still a piece of shit."
ME: Why does Simon Fuller make the Idols release this as their first single? I know they want quick turnaround but heaven help us all these songs are always these sugary mountains of crap. Hurricanes of crap. Look, I just wrote half of "No Boundaries" right there.
TB: It's taken me this long, but I think I finally put my finger on what it is about Adam Lambert I don't like. I feel like his whole stage presence and look which Randy likened to "Pete Wentz" and "Robert Pattinson" early this season is completely contrived and it's kept me from ever really actually being able to relate to this kid. I actually came to this realization watching the Lakers on Sunday and thinking about how much I hate Kobe Bryant despite the fact that he is arguably one of the greatest players the NBA has ever seen. Fuck talent, I feel like there is something he isn't showing us. Just like Kobe puts on his superstar pants, Lambert puts his Idol pants on every week and thus denies the American public his true pants. He's playing the part of American Idol, and he's done a fantastic job. Now, there has been some talk in the comments throughout this season about me being an alleged homophobe. Nothing could be further from the truth. I'm actually a homoholic. I would have liked Adam Lambert so much more this season if he had done something badass like take the Idol stage in drag or do something Gentle-esque. Like songs from the movies week would have been an awesome chance to bust out his stillettos and take the stage as Dr. Frank-N-Furter.' I guess what I'm saying is that, looking back on the season, Adam Lambert had the potential to be a true radical and the whole time he was being praised as uncompromisingly original but he really wasn't.
Kris Allen - "Ain't No Sunshine" ; "What's Going On" ; "No Boundaries"
TB: Comin' out guns blazin', Kris Allen!! Great song choice. I kind of forgot he sang this song so it was a little refreshing to hear it one more time.
ME: So did I. That's interesting. It's also what happens when you stick to the middle of the pack ' are rarely the superstar of the night but aren't the dregs either. Smart move Kris, no one hates the assistant coach.
TB: I think what gives Kris Allen a leg up on Adam at this point is that he's way more listenable. Adam may be a better singer technically but if my co-worker in the desk desk to mine were playing a Kris Allen record all day I could stand it whereas if it were an Adam Lambert album, after about 15 minutes I'd probably shoot her computer with the Deringer I keep in my garter. Kris has this laid back, very natural, genuine feel as opposed to Lambert sometimes overwhelming glam shriek rock.
ME: See, i couldn't handle Kris out of the Idol context. I like him now because he's fucking adorable but if I heard him on the radio, I would make some inappropriate gagging sound and start referring to him as Mraz Lite. But, I do know what kind of records he will eventually put out, opposed to Adam. I have no idea what three-headed beast he and Clive Davis will birth.
TB: "What's Going On" wasn't as bad as the judges said, I think. I get what Simon was saying about it not being big enough. In a huge venue like that, playing a real mellow song like that, it's either got to be super intimate and touching or it should fill the whole room. Kris felll somewhere in the middle, but, a valiant effort nonetheless.
ME: It wasn't a valiant effort. He knew Adam was going to come out with something crazy and big. No matter what song it was ' whether it was a ballad or a barn burner. And he fucked the pooch on this one by going small when he needed to out-huge Adam in some way. But, look, being the American Idol isn't going to help Kris' career at all. He needs to blow the American Idol popsicle stand ASAP and get his own thing going.
TB:' I've already made it clear, I hope, that "No Boundaries" is an awful, awful song but all the songs penned for the Idol finale are. However, Kris made that very crappy song and made it good and not sound as hokey and stupid as Adam did. The judges say they don't think they should be judged on the song, but fucking ay they should. Kris Allen made that song suck less than it really does adn that is fucking commendable. I don't think I cringed once during his performance.
Final Thought:
I wanna say it's too close to call but I have a nagging suspicion that Adam is going to win but an upset is definitely not out of the question. To be honest, though, I don't really care who wins. I'm more about the journey than the destination,' and what a wild ride it has been. What I love about American Idol is how it brings out the shallowness and superficiality in it's viewership (and apparently that is a very large portion of America.) From the weirdos and freaks at the auditions, to the superstars at the end, for almost 5 months millions of nobodies just like me and you get to sit in judgment of these perfect strangers. Then we blog about it to people whose opinons are equally unvaluable who in turn, comment on our comments.' It's a crazy whirlwind of superficaility that only a show like American Idol can produce. But, now that it's gone we'll have to resign ourselves to a summer of reruns and reserving our judgment for political leaders and that person at your office who thinks you actually like them.
Idolly yours,
Tommy and Molly
what a season! i'm so proud to be an american! first obama, and now KRIS ALLEN!!!
sounds like somebody (Aiken) wants to get himself back into that Idol limelight
I son't feel that people are being honest with themselves it appears for what ever reason that they know for a fact thet Kris Allen wasn't a good singer vs Adam lambert especially when they sang the song via guiter on idol it was so i would say humiliating to kris to be up there with adam kris sounded horrible and adam just made the song even more better he put a twist on it as he has shown with his voice along in different harmonies unfortunately Kris is a through back cause he has nothing to bring to the table and there is noting as talent or singer he can bring do to, there are just to many people that fall in this catergory. but if Kris wants to bring to the table he's needs to figure out how to seperated himself from the rest just as adam did because talent is not about being cute it's really is about talent and diversity in voice-personality-appearence I never heard anyone making a career on just being cute or nice.
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