My Horse and Me, PC

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My Horse and Me, PC

POSTED: Tuesday, February 19, 2008, 9:10 PM

Filed Under: Arts | Video Games

gamespot.com

The only time I ever rode a horse, my mom broke her ankle dismounting, thus ending our family vacation early. As much fun as I had on that ride, I decided in the ER that it was definitely not a sport I would like to pursue. Yet now, at the age of 19, I still want to own a pony because they’re just so damn cute. I decided to settle for a virtual horse since I highly doubt one would be comfortable living in my apartment.

Atari’s latest PC game, My Horse and Me, may not have a grammatically correct name (perhaps because My Horse and I would be infringing on Bat for Lashes territory), but it succeeded at bringing out my inner 10-year-old.

Trotting around a barn collecting stars on Billy Idol, my Tobiano-colored steed, was actually a bit relaxing once I became accustomed to the awkward arrow controls. I soon had several ribbons and was looking fashionably equestrian in my hard-earned turquoise Nordic sweater with matching argyle socks. That’s right — in addition to stocking your trophy cabinets, you can win articles of clothing ripped from the pages of a Land's End catalog. Horses + new clothes = pre-teen dream game! You can even spend quality time grooming your horsie, but it’s one of the more boring parts of the experience. If they really wanted to simulate realism, mucking stables would be level four.

Show-jumping competitions are the meat of My Horse and Me, and overall they're the most fun, whereas the pointless mini-games are simply not worth the time. My personal favorite, though, is the frustrating "Chickens ‘n Corn," the entire point of which is galloping around to protect corn from an army of hungry chickens. Those birds just don’t quit, even when threatened with being squashed by hooves.

Impossible-to-defeat poultry aside, I’m proud of my medals and snazzy wardrobe. I might even continue to pay the pixilated stables a visit once in awhile, despite mockery from my roommates. Breaking the special bond between a girl and her Billy Idol is a difficult thing to do.

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Featuring everything from event roundups to concert reviews and sex talk, City Paper's Critical Mass is a space for off-the-wall coverage of Philly's A&E scene.

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