POETIC LICENSE: Horoscopes, Nov. 5-11

Critical Mass welcomes devoted poet/avid concert-goer/nerd-grrrl extraordinaire Jane Cassady to the fold; her weekly horoscopes will run in this space every Friday morning. The Drunk on Civility Edition: Starring Tim Gunn and the Rally to Restore Sanity Scorpio (Oct. 22-Nov. 22): My wife and I went to the Rally to Restore Sanity last weekend and I found that being an exemplar of politeness (albeit a somewhat smug one) for the day was very spiritually rewarding. I still hate anyone with a "wag more, bark less" sticker on their car, though. Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 22): In his book Gunn's Golden Rules: Life's Little Lessons for Making it Work, Tim wonders if maybe it's "too tough to behave well under all the crazy circumstances life throws at you ... you wonder if you should become an advocate not for manners but for living in a cave with a boulder rolled in front of it." You can try that, but only this week. Capricorn (Dec. 23-Jan. 20): Some favorite rally signs: "Everyone here is CUTE!" "Plurals don't need apostrophes" and "Save Ferris." What would your sign have said? Aquarius (Jan. 21-Feb. 19): Veering off the civility theme for a moment — Gretchen?!!? Really?! I will continue to wear as many simultaneous patterns as possible just to continue supporting Mondo. You were ROBBED! Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20): "Few activities are as delightful as learning new vocabulary." —Tim Gunn: A Guide to Quality, Taste and Style. Buy yourself a page-a-day calendar and a bottle of nice wine. Wake up loquacious and delighted. Aries (March 21-April 18): This morning a reader of mine breached etiquette by calling me up repeatedly and breathlessly to worry about something that I wrote on my blog. Dude! That's what comments are for! I said, "What are you, my father?" Then realized that my father would NEVER tell me what not to write. Thanks for being awesome, Dad! Taurus (April 19-May 18): Running out of steam? Tim Gunn says: "As long as we have Netflix, Turner Classic Movies, Amazon, YouTube and bookstores, there is no excuse ever to lack inspiration." Googling "Kittens Inspired By Kittens" is a nice place to start. (It never stops being funny.) Gemini (May 19-June 21): A loving message from Mavis Staples and Jeff Tweedy: "An open hand /and open heart/there's no need to be afraid. /Open up, this is a raid /I want to get it through to you: /you're not alone." Cancer (June 22-July 23): From the best band to see at a rally, The Roots: "Out on the streets /Where I grew up /First thing they teach us: /Not to give a fuck. /That type of thinking can't get you nowhere /Someone has to care." Leo (July 24-Aug. 23): Jon Stewart says that every-other-person merging is proof that we are inherently civil. Meditate on this at every entrance, exit and construction zone: You go and then I go, you go and then I go, you go and then I go ... Virgo (Aug. 24-Sept. 23): This week I achieved my dream of being mentioned on my favorite podcast, Too Beautiful to Live. It just goes to show that if you pick little, reasonable dreams, they can come true every day. Libra (Sept. 24-Oct. 21): One more message from Tim Gunn. He says that when you hold a door open for someone, you are telling them you care enough about your fellow human beings not to want the door to hit them in the face.

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POETIC LICENSE: Horoscopes, Nov. 5-11

POSTED: Friday, November 5, 2010, 2:00 PM

Filed Under: Poetic License

Critical Mass welcomes devoted poet/avid concert-goer/nerd-grrrl extraordinaire Jane Cassady to the fold; her weekly horoscopes will run in this space every Friday morning. The Drunk on Civility Edition: Starring Tim Gunn and the Rally to Restore Sanity Scorpio (Oct. 22-Nov. 22): My wife and I went to the Rally to Restore Sanity last weekend and I found that being an exemplar of politeness (albeit a somewhat smug one) for the day was very spiritually rewarding. I still hate anyone with a "wag more, bark less" sticker on their car, though. Sagittarius (Nov. 23-Dec. 22): In his book Gunn's Golden Rules: Life's Little Lessons for Making it Work, Tim wonders if maybe it's "too tough to behave well under all the crazy circumstances life throws at you ... you wonder if you should become an advocate not for manners but for living in a cave with a boulder rolled in front of it." You can try that, but only this week. Capricorn (Dec. 23-Jan. 20): Some favorite rally signs: "Everyone here is CUTE!" "Plurals don't need apostrophes" and "Save Ferris." What would your sign have said? Aquarius (Jan. 21-Feb. 19): Veering off the civility theme for a moment — Gretchen?!!? Really?! I will continue to wear as many simultaneous patterns as possible just to continue supporting Mondo. You were ROBBED! Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20): "Few activities are as delightful as learning new vocabulary." —Tim Gunn: A Guide to Quality, Taste and Style. Buy yourself a page-a-day calendar and a bottle of nice wine. Wake up loquacious and delighted. Aries (March 21-April 18): This morning a reader of mine breached etiquette by calling me up repeatedly and breathlessly to worry about something that I wrote on my blog. Dude! That's what comments are for! I said, "What are you, my father?" Then realized that my father would NEVER tell me what not to write. Thanks for being awesome, Dad! Taurus (April 19-May 18): Running out of steam? Tim Gunn says: "As long as we have Netflix, Turner Classic Movies, Amazon, YouTube and bookstores, there is no excuse ever to lack inspiration." Googling "Kittens Inspired By Kittens" is a nice place to start. (It never stops being funny.) Gemini (May 19-June 21): A loving message from Mavis Staples and Jeff Tweedy: "An open hand /and open heart/there's no need to be afraid. /Open up, this is a raid /I want to get it through to you: /you're not alone." Cancer (June 22-July 23): From the best band to see at a rally, The Roots: "Out on the streets /Where I grew up /First thing they teach us: /Not to give a fuck. /That type of thinking can't get you nowhere /Someone has to care." Leo (July 24-Aug. 23): Jon Stewart says that every-other-person merging is proof that we are inherently civil. Meditate on this at every entrance, exit and construction zone: You go and then I go, you go and then I go, you go and then I go ... Virgo (Aug. 24-Sept. 23): This week I achieved my dream of being mentioned on my favorite podcast, Too Beautiful to Live. It just goes to show that if you pick little, reasonable dreams, they can come true every day. Libra (Sept. 24-Oct. 21): One more message from Tim Gunn. He says that when you hold a door open for someone, you are telling them you care enough about your fellow human beings not to want the door to hit them in the face.

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Featuring everything from event roundups to concert reviews and sex talk, City Paper's Critical Mass is a space for off-the-wall coverage of Philly's A&E scene.

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