I thought that this week was going to be the grand finale. A stupid mistake, I know. With four designers left and only three going to Bryant Park, they couldn't possibly squeeze all the couture drama into a mere 60 minutes. Instead ProjRun
made us sit through an hour of T.G.
visiting the designers and awkwardly interacting with each of their families.
Actually, when Seth Aaron
got Timmy Boy to get on his trampoline that's for reals, not a euphemism
it was almost worth the agony of watching him play Pictionary with Seth Aaron's clan. Yeah, that was when he guessed the picture Seth Aaron's daughter drew was a pair of fallopian tubes
. In all fairness, I thought the same thing. Thank God there's only one miserable week left, this show is cutting into my Thursday night drinking rituals.
As mentioned, Tim went to visit the in-home studios of each cocky designer. Did you notice the audible Tim Gunn yawn
after seeing each collection? Go back to your TiVo or DV-R and crank the volume. It's there. Seth Aaron, who is already set to go to Fashion Week let Tim peep his collection thus far, which was dull, dark and all signature Seth Aaron
. Same old, same old, and nothing inventive. That means zippers, sharp jackets and high, starched collars
. Cue the TG yawn.
's collection garnered the same reaction. He said he was inspired by color. Yeah, ugly colors
. When turtleneck-clad Tim Gunn questioned the pieces, Emilio confessed to the cameras, "I'm designing clothing for women. As far as I know, Tim Gunn doesn't wear women's clothing." Huh. As far as we know, Em, neither do you
. Yet somehow you're the new expert on women's clothes? It must be the seven seasons of experience you've had as a ProjRun
mentor. Or your former job as an instructor at Parsons. Or you current job as the Chief Creative Officer at Liz Claiborne. Oh, wait...
It was Mila
, though, who had to go head-to-head on the runway with three pieces from their so-so collections. Jay's stuff was over-designer and overworked
. There were zippers, pleats, piping, boning, straps, high collars, buttons, shin guards, and high volume, layered shoulder pads. It was a futuristic Seth Aaron collection on crack
. It was lusciously textured and badass
. It deserved recognition at Bryant Park. But I guess it's only okay when Seth Aaron makes clothes like that.
Mila, who may I point out, even has a dog that is black and white
. The bitch just can't break free and use color on anything, including her pets. She presented three pieces in two colors. You know the colors I'm talking about.
The clothes were all clinging desperately to the the past with their retro mod style
. She made a finely constructed black and grey jacket
, but who cares? That's nothing new. The one cool thing that was happening were the gloves that she designed. They were black patent leather
and didn't cover all the fingers, with a silver bar slapped on across bare skin
. It was gloves-meets-jewelery-meets -dominatrix-to-have-sex-all-over-your-paws. They were fantastic.
Then came the moment of elimination, with Seth Aaron and Em sipping bubbly
in the back room and sitting pretty, knowing that they will be at Bryant Park. Mila was certain that she could beat Jay, and little Jay was equally as confident that he would wipe the runway
with Mila's annoying face. But we can't escape her
, and it was Mila who won and will be moving on with the other two bozos to Fashion Week. Jay was sent a-packin' before he could even enjoy one night in the glitzy New York hotel. Really, there had to be an entire episode dedicated to this? What a waste.