POSTED: Monday, February 7, 2011, 7:00 PM
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| Photo | Massimo Pulcini |
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I'm quite certain I died and went to heaven. No, not one with pearly gates, angels, and maidens feeding me grapes as I lounge on a cloud, but one with beer, rock music and strippers heaving endless plates of hot wings at men who are larger than life. Where can someone find such a paradise, you may ask? I found it at SportsRadio 610 WIP's
Wing Bowl 19, the national amateur hot wing-eating completion held in Philly every year.
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| Photo | Massimo Pulcini |
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On Friday before the Super Bowl, 20,000 (usually wasted) "fans" crowd into the
Wells Fargo Center in South Philly at 6 a.m. to watch a celebration of gluttony and pole dancers. Yes, the Wing Bowl is as much a food competition as it is a stripper showcase, with more boob exposure per second than anywhere else on the planet. The rules are simple — 26 eaters square off in a three-round tournament that requires they
put down as many wings as possible. The first two rounds are 15-minutes-long and eaters with the smallest number of wings consumed are eliminated after each round is up. The final round is a wing-off where the top competitors face each other in a two-minute lightning round that proves wing eating supremacy. Where do the strippers come in? When each eater is announced, they parade around the floor in a float accompanied by an entourage of barely dressed
"Wingettes" representing local strip joints (Delilah's, Cheerleaders, etc.). Think of it as an XXX Thanksgiving Day Parade. These lovely young ladies cheer on their competitor as they stuff their face with hot sauce smothered poultry delights.
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| Photo | Massimo Pulcini |
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This year's competition included the
Ice Man, who came out in giant igloo,
Wild Turkey, who busted out of his coop, and the legendary
El Wingador, who was received with thunderous applause. After all the eaters are announced and seated, the competition begins. Each eater has their own distinct style and strategy: some use the corn-on-the-cob method, some rip the wing into two halves and eat, and some just devour the entire morsel and remove a bare bone from their mouth. As the morning went on, competitors dropped like flies until only two remained, and in the closest Wing Bowl ever, defending champ
Super Sqiubb from Berlin, N.J. defeated the 5-time champ and Wing Bowl Hall of Famer,
El Wingador by a single wing.
Though the Wing Bowl comes across as a simple eating competition, it is so much larger than that: It's a spectacle. The energy in the stadium is so high. Maybe it's the booze flowing in 99.9% of the fans blood, but the people get super hyped for the event. Several "celebrities" were also present at the, most notably adult film stars
Ron Jeremy, Mary Carey, Katie Morgan, and pro eating king,
Kobayashi (who, in an eating stunt of his own, finished an entire cheesesteak in 24.3 seconds). There was also a live band playing all sorts of classic rock covers, a mechanical bull that gave some between-round entertainment, and more streamers, confetti, and beads than Mardi Gras. And then, the boobs — SO MANY BOOBS. I saw so many nip slips that even
TMZ would be jealous. Both the hired strippers and a large amount of intoxicated women in the crowd bared all, and there was enough girl-on-girl Kiss-Cam scenes on the Jumbotron to put most soft-core stag films to shame. In true American fashion, this wasn't simply a celebration of hot wings, but the personification of America's favorite deadly sins.
While some may look at the Wing Bowl as everything that's wrong with society — obesity, indecent exposure and excessive intoxication — I hope most can see what the event is really about: fun. This was my first Wing Bowl experience and I can easily say it was one of the most enjoyable experiences in my life. The sheer absurdity and oddity of what went on around me that morning was so awe inducing. Maybe it was all the boobs, but I had a smile on my face the whole time. I highly encourage people to see what all the fuss is about by going to at least one Wing Bowl. I know I'll be back for seconds next year.
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| Photo | Massimo Pulcini |
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