POSTED: Friday, January 21, 2011, 9:30 PM
 |
| mtv.com |
| The newest roommate Deena with Pauly D |
Each Friday, Diana Palmieri breaks down the shenanigans happening on the newest season of Jersey Shore.
This week, like many other red-blooded Americans with an acquired taste for trashy television, I managed to fry twice as many brain cells than normal. Why?: MTV aired two new episodes of
Jersey Shore.
Monday's episode illustrated Snooki's highly publicized day at the beach. I watched as Snooki took several nose dives into the sand and drunkenly frolicked in the water. This was after, of course, binge drinking and smuggling beers at work. Pretty much a day in the life. The cliff hanger detailed Snooki's arrest, leaving viewers wondering what would become of the little meatball. Would she be released or forced to snook for love behind bars? Well, of course she got out later that day. The "Free Snooki" t-shirt that JWOWW was sporting was kind of a spoiler alert.
 |
| mtv.com |
| Snooki laid out |
After Snooki returned to the house, finally sobered up, she was able to reflect on her poor judgment and decided that she didn't want to drink anymore. This made me very nervous. Without Snooki's weekly drunken demise, I wondered what would become of
Jersey Shore. Would I be forced to solely tune in to watch Ronnie and Sammi break up (again) or The Situation making references to himself in the third person? Then, JWOWW, the unmistakable voice of reason, argued that Snooki didn't have to quit drinking entirely. After all, a glass of wine on a Thursday night is totally acceptable. Snooki seemed to agree. "Yeah, I think Pinot is okay. Pregnant people do it."
Crisis averted.
While Snooki was left to reflect on her poor judgment (except not really, since it made for fantastic TV), the new cast member continued to solidify her place in the house. Deena, who introduced herself to her new roommates as "a walking holiday," won me over as soon as her Snook-a-like self strolled into Seaside. She embodied the essence of Saint Patrick's Day when she arrived to the house drunk, performed an accidental striptease for The Situation, and verbally assaulted Sammi all in the same episode.
 |
| mtv.com |
| The fake Dean |
Later, Deena went out to the club with Mike, Vinny and Pauly, and found a guy that eerily resembled Ronnie. At first I thought the guys were exaggerating when they said they found a Ronnie replacement. Dean, or Ronnie 2.0, could easily be mistaken for the original. He had the look down, from his immense muscles most probably resulting from overdoses of steroids and protein shakes, all the way to his Ryan Seacrest inspired fauxhawk. He even had a girlfriend named Sam, just like the original Ronnie. Of course, Deena was the last to know the girlfriend bit, finding out after Ronnie 2.0 had spent the night.
The episode ended on somewhat of a sour note when JWOWW broke up with her boyfriend over the phone. I'm a fan of JWOWW, primarily for her temperamental and violent tendencies, and didn't really enjoy the ending montage of sad music. Frankly, that's not what I tune in for. Now that JWOWW has found a new gorilla juicehead, and Snooki managed to end the episode with a guy with "La Famiglia" tramp stamped on his lower back, the two can stop crying ... unless they are drunk.