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The Hours: 24, 4 p.m- 5 p.m.
The Web site for the award-winning alternative weekly, the Philadelphia City Paper.
The Hours: 24, 4 p.m- 5 p.m.
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Let’s see some heart out there, mercenaries.
Featuring: Good old drunk, guilt-ridden, Chloe-lovin’ Morris for about a minute.
First Gentleman is down! Pillowface of the United States is like “let my generals handle the Sangallan invasion, I’m going to the hospital to be with my dull skeleton of a husband.” Chief of Snakes is like “Be sssserioussss.” Then Bill Buchanan’s like, I’ll give you a lift. “You can trust me to keep the prez safe,” he explains. “I once ran the least secure, most rule-breaking anti-terrorist goof troop in the history of the world. Sure we had our bad days. Our office was bombed, gassed and routinely infiltrated by shifty looking double-agents, but my luck is going to change, I’m sure of it.”
Prez says okay. Snake says sssss. At the hospital, the doc tells her the surgery will be risky and take five episodes. She sees the FG off then asks Bill to track down her estranged daughter, who it turns out his a cutie. He sends Secret Service Agent Aaron Pierce, by far the subtlest character in the history of 24.
Dubaku! takes a bus down to the greasy spoon to see his sucker waitress GF. He tells her his visa is expired, so let’s leave the country tonight. She says “that’s too soon. I’m making lasagna. Also, not without my sister in the wheelchair remember her.”
“Oh sure, we’ll send for her,” he says. “Everybody loves a third wheel. Fourth and fifth? Also good.”
GF says okay.
Meanwhile, Agent Walker has her hourly moment of self-doubt while on the phone with her liberal torture-is-wrong crybaby boyfriend. Oh Larry, it’s gonna be a long day for you.
Oh look, Chloe’s in a car with Morris (bald guy, british, once armed nuclear devices for some terrorists) and their kid. Where are they coming from? And what a strange little family they are. You should hear the way this kid says “bye mommy.” Sounds like he’s auditioning for Omen: The Early Years. Anyway, Morris drops Chloe off at the FBI where Larry gives her a desk and calls it “impressive” that she managed to work with Jack Bauer all these years and not get killed. He starts listing all the characters who’ve died since Day One. (Somebody got the DVDs for X-mas.) Chloe asks him how his little mole problem is doing. Burn.
Out in the cubes, Chloafalo says she suspects Chloe has been brought in to replace her. Which is ironic.
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Dubaku! has a lame little conversation with some guy which he concludes with this little gem: “The one thing I have learned in the company of mercenaries, Mr. Burnett, is that ultimately they only care about their own survival.” Good point, Dub!. What I wouldn’t give for a mercenary who loves his work.
Dub! GF goes home and starts packing while her sister pleads with her not to go. Point: moot. Jack and Walker kick the door in, because knocking is for pussies. “Do you know who this guy is?” Jack asks, showing a cell phone pic of Dub!. He follows it up with a My Pics gallery of his genocidal handiwork. Jack tells her that when Dub! calls, GF has to play it cool and agree to meet him still. This is a classic 24 trick, and a good one. Remember when Elizabeth Nash stabbed her terrorist lover Alexis Drazen with a letter opener on Day One? Awesome.
GF is cool with it and she gets in Dub!’s car. Jack and Walker follow a mile behind. Chloe and Larry talk em through it. Chloe Garafalo monitors the whole thing from a server room. It’s all so tense. Then somebody walks in so she hits eject and goes back to her cube. Everything goes offline for a sec, then comes back on Chloe notices a security breach and Jack’s car gets surrounded by DC cops. Chloe says it’s because somebody in this office issued an e-warrant. Must be Chloafalo, right!?!!? Wrong! It’s that little twerp agent guy who always gives Chloafalo a hard time! He’s the bad guy. Beep … Beep … Also Dubaku! knows his GF knows he’s a terrorist … Beep!
Death Watch:
1 Door kicked in for no reason
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