The Hours: 24 Season 7 ' Aw, remember the White House takeover?

POSTED: Monday, May 11, 2009, 2:00 PM

Filed Under: TV 24

4 a.m.-5 a.m.

Seriously, this is painful to watch. Someone has to save this guy.

Featuring: Horribly uncomfortable scenes that force us to confront American xenophobia, and a cool explosion.

We open in Jibraan 'Patsy' Al-Zarian's apartment, where we left off last time. Jibraan is handcuffed to a chair, and his brother Hamid is unconscious and gagged on the bed. Tony, his girlfriend, and some random baddies are busy doing Extreme Makeover: Terrorist Edition, which involves planting incriminating websites and financial transactions on Jibraan's computer, hanging a banner, and setting out a few tastefully placed firearms. Tony lies to Jibraan that if he cooperates, there is a good chance that he and his brother will live.

Tony then gives Jibraan a statement to read on camera ' aw, remember the White House takeover? Good times. Jibraan logically refuses to read the statement but submits once Tony threatens to off lil' bro. Jibraan starts to cry, and it's honestly difficult to watch. This is just so' tragic. It is very difficult not to punch Tony's evil face through the television screen, and this is coming from a viewer so enamored of this character that she used to always refer to him as 'my Tony Almeida.'

At the FBI/mini-CTU, Chloe tells Jack that the newly rebooted CTU servers aren't really telling them, well, jack. The next step? Jack tells Chloe to look up very Muslim in Washington.' And probably Bethesda.' Janis earns her indignation for once as she points out that this is blatant racial profiling. Jack actually agrees with her, but points out that Jon Voight pretty much told them he was going to use a Muslim extremist as a front for his attack. Janis, voice of the liberals, gets out of Jack's way.' Jack tries to get the profiling started but has an impending-death brain fart in front of Chloe. He runs off, and Janis puts her foot in her over-emotive mouth as she accidentally shares Jack's near-death status with Chloe. Renee fills in the blanks and Chloe runs after Jack.'

Chloe finds Jack taking his meds, and we have rehash number 37 of the 'why aren't you in the hospital?'/'There's no cure' conversation. This time, though, it's pretty darn poignant as Chloe cries while Jack injects his anti-seizure medication in the track marks he has left over from season three. They clasp hands for a moment and Jack tells Chloe, 'I can't do this without you.' It's touching and beautiful and sad for about three seconds before Chloe jumps up to go back to work. Also, it might be important to note that Jack specifically says he has a 'day or two' to live, implying that this plot line might not have to wrap up by 8am. Here's hoping it does ' Kiefer looks like he might hurt himself if he has to act out any more violent seizures.

Back at Jibraan's apartment, Jibraan is filming the video. He is forced to say standard anti-American stuff. Suddenly, the police show up at his building. Tony tells everyone to strike the terrorist set and warns Jibraan that he better convince the cops everything is ok.' At first it seemed like maybe the cops were actually going door-to-door to visit Muslims, per Jack's order, but it turns out a neighbor called in with a noise complaint. They call him 'Jib-brain' and he corrects their pronunciation, which is very reminiscent of Kal Penn's awesomely indignant 'my name is ACCCCHmed' from season six. Jibraan says that he and his friends were drunk and arguing, and the cops leave, along with Jibraan's last shred of hope. Seriously, this is painful to watch. Someone has to save this guy. After the cops leave, Tony tells Jibraan to get back to work on the video, adding that he 'can make it through this.' Jerkface.

At the FBI, Chloe falls right into the Secret Red Dot Society's trap and finds the fake money trail leading to Jibraan.' They have no address for him, but they do have an address for his imam, so Jack and Renee prepare to go. Considering Jack needs some serious sensitivity training even on a day when he's not experiencing brain melt, this should end well.

At the White House, Aaron (who is now our only totally redeemable character and damn well better stay that way), brings Martin (the dude on the phone last week) in to see Livs, who skulks around the desk to talk to him. We find out that this is the guy who 'dug up the dirt' on the president's opponent in the incident that led to Livs' fight with her mother. Livs tells Martin everything about Jon Voight, and he tells her to walk away. She tells him she doesn't need a lecture on conscience, since she kind of doesn't have one. She whines about not letting this 'monster' get away and gives Martin Jon Voight's location and itinerary. Martin promises someone will contact her about the details and the price. Martin leaves, and Aaron gives Livs a look that shows he is totally on to her. As an addendum to the previously mentioned hope that Aaron will remain morally sound ' please note, writers, that letting Aaron kick Livs in the shin would in no way compromise his character.

At the FBI, Janis goes to Jon Voight to get him ready for transport, because apparently she is an analyst and a bellhop. Jon Voight is polite to her and calls her 'young lady.' Seems like a safe bet that the real-life conversations between uberliberal Garofalo and uberconservative Voight are not as congenial. An agent gives Jon Voight a dossier with info about his new identity, as one Robert Tippet. 'Sounds like a dog breed,' Jon Voight says with his typical flair. The agent there to talk to him clearly has an issue with this whole witness protection deal, and Jon Voight says, 'I can smell attitude, son, and you're giving if off pretty thick.' Also, he says that dogs and bees can smell fear. Voight complains that he is not getting off easy ' on the contrary, he has lost his company, family, and 'most importantly' his name. His family's like, 'thanks.' The agent leaves Jon Voight/Tippet to get ready, and Jon Voight throws the dossier at the closing door.

On the way to question the imam, Jack gets a bit seizy and then gets out his gun. Renee questions the immediate need for firearms in case this imam is totally innocent, but Jack isn't having it. The imam, Muhtadi Gohar, opens the door and recognizes Jack from his televised testimony at the beginning of the season/day. Apparently he's not a fan of Jack's work. Jack and Renee go inside and ask about Jibraan. Gohar brings up things like civil liberties and Jack yells at him. Gohar says Jibraan is not an extremist and Jack says he did not come there to debate the issue. Apparently a symptom of brainmelting disease is narrow-mindedness and a touch of racism. Gohar refuses to cooperate with agents whom he points out are there on illegal pretenses. Janis calls to tell Jack and Renee that they now have an address on Jibraan, thanks to that noise disturbance call from earlier in the hour. Jack arrests Gohar for absolutely nothing and takes him with them to keep him from calling Jibraan to warn him.

At Jibraan's apartment, Tony tells Jibraan that he has to talk to his brother about what is going on. Tony reassures Jibraan with some ice-cold comfort: They won't kill lil' bro, because lil' bro needs to be around to tell the police that Jibraan is a terrorist. It turns out that Jibraan has to actually convince lil' bro of this fact, and it is torturous to watch this poor man destroy his relationship with his brother. Jibraan tells his brother he loves him, and lil' bro responds by spitting in his face. This might be one of the most painful subplots in recent 24 history.' Tony watches the scene and concludes that while lil' bro might not be totally convinced, once the 'attack' happens he will be. Sigh. Hopefully Jack will soon save us from having to relive highlights from Arlington Road.

At the White House, Livs is on the phone with the contract killer. She gets an account number for the money transfer, but the killer hangs up on her when she tries to get chatty about the details. In case you were wondering, it costs $250,000 to kill someone, apparently. Aaron comes in and tells Livs that her dad, aka Skelehubby, is back at the White House and wants to see her. That was sudden. Livs stares at her computer screen with the account transfer information. At the bottom of the screen Livs has a choice of hitting the 'execute' button or the 'cancel' button. If this was Lost, she totally would have hit 'execute,' but, at the last second she chooses 'cancel.' Livs calls Martin to tell him she can't go through with the whole murder thing, but her call goes to voicemail. This is probably the kind of situation where you want to follow up with an email or a text or something. Just saying.

In the car on the way to Jibraan's, Jack gets a call from Chloe, who has discovered that all of this 'evidence' against Jibraan that she found was totally created in the past hour.' Jack figures out what Tony is up to, and he sheepishly un-cuffs Gohar and apologizes for the whole 'I assumed you were a terrorist' thing. Gohar admits he is surprised to see a federal agent admitting fault, but he says he forgives Jack. This is a real moment, until Jack snits that he doesn't want the guy's forgiveness. Gohar tells Jack that it is not too late to go to God. Jack chooses not to find religion for the moment. This whole scene feels kind of like a more subtle version of the patriotic brothers who defend their sporting goods store in season 4, back when the show came under fire for only depicting Muslims as terrorists. That echo aside, this scene also felt somehow like a big step for the show. With the framing-Jibraan storyline, the show already acknowledged how easily American fear and prejudice can be manipulated, and now we see a genuine exchange between two people who arguably fall on opposite sides of this particular ideological battle where they both admit to being judgmental.' Sorry, it's hard to be snarky about this whole subplot. Luckily, we move on from here to a place rife with sarcastic possibility'

' The White House, where the president is feeding Skelehubby. Ew. He looks pretty healthy for a guy who should totally be in the hospital recovering from major surgery. Livs comes in and hugs her daddy. He gives her a Danny Tanner look and launches into a pep talk about respecting mommy's national security decisions. Livs immediately tells her parents she's seen the light and everyone is happy. This can't bode well.

Back at the FBI, Jon Voight is getting ready to leave and assume his new identity. He looks wistfully at pictures of his wife and daughter. The agent who prepped him earlier comes in and calls him 'Mr. Tippet,' much to Jon Voight's dismay. Jon Voight's wallet is confiscated, and he is asked to hand over the pictures, too. As Jon Voight is wheeled out of the building, he keeps up his classic schtick, still wheeling and dealing and implying that he does not plan to stay in witness protection forever.' In the car, Jon Voight reveals that he hid one of the family pictures in his shirt. He looks at it longingly, and then blows the hell up. That's right folks ' our favorite villain is toast (literally). Looks like Livs should have followed up on that phone call after all.

Speaking of the first family, we move to the White House, where Tim Woods is briefing the president and her increasingly squirmy spawn on what has been happening in the episode so far. Woods gets a call and delivers the news that Jon Voight is dead (still hurts a little to say it). Livs books for the door to 'take a call.' Woods tells the president that this is clearly an inside job, and the president fluffs up to her pillowy best and harshly tells Tim to 'get on top of this.' Er, you might not be so happy with the results of that particular order, Madame President. In the hall, Livs sneaks into a corner to call Martin, with Aaron watching her suspiciously. Her phone call is completely crazed and barely intelligible, and Martin wisely says that perhaps discussing this over the phone from the White House is a bad move. He asks her to meet him in some park to talk face to face. In what is definitely the most awesomely psychotic moment in this episode, Livs hangs up in panic and then does an immediate transformation to cool, calm, and collected for Aaron's benefit. It's, like, Melrose Place over-the-top. Aaron's not buying her act, though.

Jack and Renee pull up at Jibraan's house. They use sneaky surveillance tools to see inside, where lil' bro is being held hostage but Tony is nowhere to be found. Jack starts getting the troops ready to go in, and Gohar pulls Renee aside to point out Jack's obvious instability and suggest that she be in charge of this operation. Hilariously, Renee insists that she is in charge. Oh, Renee. Then, for some reason, Renee decides to have a heart-to-heart with Gohar about Jack's exposure to the death mist. He's all, 'Oh, didn't know that, sorry.' It's pretty awkward. Jack and co. bust into the apartment, giving lil' bro a chance to break free from his captor. Jack and Renee are hoping that the captor will lead them directly to Tony and the bioweapon, but, alas, in grand 24 tradition, lil' bro takes matters into his own hands and stabs the one guy who can help them in the neck with a piece of broken mirror.' Jack gets to do one of his awesome 'WE NEED A MEDIC' yells as he desperately tries to stop the bleeding.

Elsewhere, Tony leads Jibraan to a van. A guy inside the van says they need 10-15 minutes to get ready for their dastardly attack. And then, just when we were starting to hope that they would give up their evil plot in favor of a nice long nap, we see what they are looking at on their computer screen. It's the subway. Yikes.

Next week: Jack wants to shoot Tony. Get in frakkin' line, man. Also, wild (and most likely wrong) prediction time: Who wants to bet that in the next fifteen minutes or so, Kim Bauer decides to take a little ride on the Metro? Ok, fine, she was already in a cab on her way to the airport the last time we saw her, but maybe said cab got caught in a cougar trap.

Death Watch:

Jon Voight
All of the funny lines on the show (see above)

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