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Top 7 - Idol goes to the movies
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Top 7 - Idol goes to the movies
We like American Idol ' too much.
Tommy Button: TThis week was songs from the cinema and who better to direct the idols than a man who directed Ving Rhames getting fucked up the butt? I love when people like Tarantino are on this show because you'd like to think their only doing this out of some contractual or promotional deal but he really seemed to enjoy himself/watching his language.
Molly Eichel: Tarantino is one my favorite guest judges of all time. He wasn't as good as mentor because you couldn't see him in all of his nerd glory where he would reference past perfomances. Of course, he would be super nerdy about something like Idol. I think he would make an excellent edition to Idol Hands. Yo, QT, if you're reading this (which you clearly ARE) and you want to get in on the google doc, just lemme know, k? P.S. What's up with your Dennis the Menace 'do?
TB: The two judges at a time thing really pissed me off and it was obvious it pissed Simon off cuz he spent most the show biting his lip. And I'm glad they blamed it on the girls because it was their fault. That's what happens when you add a fourth judge who feels like she's got to prove her opinions are just as valuable as the original 3. Which they are not and I hope Kara Diowhateverthefuckever is not back for Season 10. So let's all pray that Paula Abdul doesn't die of massive liver failure in the next year.
ME: Kara's boobs don't look as massive this week so I don't like her again. But the most important part of Tuesday's telecast was the audience shots of ONE MR. LITTLE STEVIE VAN ZANT OF THE MOTHERFUCKING E STREET BAND! Hey Idol judges, when can we expect Bruce week? 'Cause Gokey could kill it on "Glory Days."
Allison Iraheta - I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing by Aerosmith from Armageddon
TB: I've had my fair share awkward, middle school slow dances' to this song, trying to hide my boner or cop a feel. So this song really means a lot to me. Armageddon is fucking badass. But if this were Armageddon and Allison was Bruce Willis, that meteor would have killed us all. Or at least taken out a sizable piece of the Eastern hemisphere. I didn't really think it was a good song choice, like this song was the only song she could think of from a movie. She sang well, though, all things considered. This week was a little lackluster compared to past weeks and I think it's gunna put her in the bottom three. And I suspect Lil and Matt are going to be there to keep her company. Hearing this song did take me back to my boner hiding days and it's nice to know how far I've come. I don't ever really slow dance and am much more open about my boners. But I still try to cop a feel whenever I can.
ME: The arrangement was owning Allison on this song. She's got a big voice as it is but there's not to overwork a song that's already overworked as it is. My favorite QT moment: When he said she wasn't performing enough in front of him so he sat down in a chair to take the pressure off.
Lindsey Proulx: I have loved Aerosmith for a very long time and Allison just didn't do this song justice. There are plenty of other Aerosmith movie songs she could have went with too. Like the song from True Romance, give Tarantino a little shout out. Or the one from Batman and Robin. To be honest, I wish Adam sang this song instead, and I never wish him to do anything.
Anoop - I Do It For You by Bryan Adams from Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves
TB: Good job. I mean, Anoop, you ain't gunna beat Adam and if you think you can even touch Gokey you better get your fucking head checked because you are certifiable, my friend. The best you can do now is pretty much 3rd place. Too bad no body gives a shit about the bronze. We don't celebrate Olympians who bring home 8 bronze medals But Anoop is in the same position everyone who's not Danny or Adam is, just to stay as long as you can. And he was better than most this time around.
ME: Here's where I'm gonna give Desai crazy props: I've counted him out from the beginning. Everybody did but he just little-engine-that-could-ed it and now he's doing better than early faves Lil and Kris, not to mention leaving A. Grace in the dust weeks ago. QT was right to make him do some growling on this song, make him dig deep to the Canadian spirit of this song. Also, Anoop has Peter Gallagher eyebrows.
LP: He was better than Matt.
Adam Lambert - Born To Be Wild by Steppenwolf from Easy Rider
TB: Anytime Adam Lambert does well, I have to preface it with how much I hate him. So here goes: Adam Lambert looks like a creepy, old retired drag queen that should be living in a bombed out trailer with other' freaks of nature and I don't care for him one bit. That being said, he once again, did a good job. Big surprise. However, I think Lambert is getting a big head from all these standing ovations and whatnot and you can tell by his performances. He was running all over that stage, touching girls hands (HA!), singing on his knees (HA! HA!), trying to be cooler than the other side of the pillow. I AM ADAM LAMBERT!! COWER BENEATH MY EYE LINER!!! I want to see some god damn heart. Take a cue or two from Gokey and gimme something I can hold on to because right now all I see is a douche who wants to be famous. And we don't need another one of those.
ME: Here's the thing about Adam Lambert ' when he performs, you can tell the band is super into it, like they're finally performing with an artist opposed to retreading easy material in different keys. They at least look like they're trying with him. Did you see that drummer just pound away at those skins? Or the guitarist who finally stopped looking like Stanley from The Office? That's the mark of a good performer. Goddamnit, Adam.
LP: I hate you Adam Lambert. Especially because he is good.
Matt Giraud - "Have You Ever Loved a Woman" by Bryan Adams Don Jaun De Marco
TB: Pretty good there, Kalamazoo. The only thing about picking a Bryan Adams song when Anoop is doing a Bryan Adams song is that it kind of makes it feel like Bryan Adams week/ And that week should never exist. I disagree with Kara's onestep forward, two steps back comment, I thought he did really well, and I hate that song.
ME: SNOOZE.
Danny Gokey' - Endless Love by Lionel Richie from Endless Love
TB: What? Friends can listen to "Endless Love" in the dark! I'm kind of a fan of this glassless, more bearded Danny Gokey. Who know who also had a beard and didn't wear glasses? Jesus. I don't think I have to even say it but he was totally thinking about his wife. ' Oh! He looked like he was gunna cry a lil' bit.
LP: I'm going to love him no matter what he sings. And I'm especially going to love him when he looks like he is about to cry! And the beard is a good addition, it makes him look like he's had a lot of hard nights recently. Drinking whiskey and singing Endless Love while thinking about his dead wife. Oh, Danny Gokey, I'd be willing to loose Tommy as a friend if you were to choose me instead of him.
ME: I agree on the beard comment but this isn't the song for him. Lionel Richie has a completely different sound and Gokey didn't change it enough to make it his own. I still think someone should have done "Hungry Eyes" from Dirty Dancing.
Kris Allen - Falling Slowly from Once
TB: You know that line in the song that goes something like "I don't know you, but I want you?" I'd like to think that was being sung to me, maybe, but we all know it's bullshit Mr. Katie Allen. And the fact Kara referred to this song as lesser known is I guess somewhat true, but' I mean, do lesser known things really win Oscars?
LP: I'm sure he did a fine job with the song, but my problem with Kris (and this isn't really a problem at all) is that whenever he is singing instead of listening to him, I just find myself thinking about what he would look like naked (fantastic, if you were wondering).
ME: Here's what these kid don't get: A lot of the musicians they are covering have very distinctive voices. See: Lil doing Tina last week. Glenn Hansard (the dude from the Maps who is also in Once) has one of those voices. Kris does not have one of those voices. So a song that formerly was very different and had a lot of texture is rendered flat and meaningless. You know what I bet is also flat? Kris' perfect stomach.
Lil Rounds - The Rose by Bette Midler from The Rose
TB: I don't know if you know this, Lil, but there's this little film called The Bodyguard and it stars a singer you may have heard of named Whitney Houston and she pretty much plays herself, but just in love with Kevin Costner and not Bobby Brown. So, as I bet you can imagine, there is quite a bit of singing in this film. So, why the fuck did you sing this song?! I mean, the possibilities were endless for you this week and you just fucking threw it away. In the middle things started to get good and you got my box all revved up and ready for the blowing of a lifetime but, nope. You just kind of fizzled out and I think Simon's right, you're not fucking getting it and it really pains me to say this but I think this might be your last week Lil. She might get a save just because it's getting down to the wire and the judges have yet to use it, but she's gotta bring the thunder if she gets voted off. I sure hope Tarantino voted, I mean, we're both Lil Rounds fans and we both love the f-word. If you're reading this QT, let's hang out. I got some ideas.
LP: It's like they picked this theme just to give Lil another chance to sing "I Will Always Love You" and she still fucked it up! And now that Tommy mentioned all the singing, I seem to remember a little song called "Queen of the Night" that probably would have been pretty box blowing. Just give me some Bodyguard already!!!
ME: Other songs that were better choices than "The Rose": "Wind Beneath My Wings," anything from Dreamgirls, "Waiting to Exhale," "Over the Rainbow," "Unchained Melody," "Stormy Weather" ' Lil, you want me to keep going or have you learned your lesson?
Results: Matt Giraud ' SAVED!
TB: Kalamazoo for the save!!! Holy shit! That was one fuck of an Idol moment! When Simon said (HA!) that he would save one of them, and that person would be surprised I felt that it might be good ol' Kalamazoo. In the beginning he wasn't really doing that well, but he turned it out by the end. The song is still dumb, though, so it's nice to see him get through with a song by a Canadian that's not Robbie Robertson.
ME: I liked Matt at the beginning but I think they only really used the save 'cause it was one of the last weeks they could use it. Eh, I still think he'll be gone next week.
TB: And next week is gunna kick ass! It's Disco week, two people leave, then we're in Top 5 Land and that, my friends, is the beginning of the final steps on the path to El Dorado. And can I just say how incredibly disappointed I was this week no one sang "Deepest, Bluest" by LL Cool J from Deep Blue Sea because that woulda been my song. My hat is like a shark's fin, motherfuckers.
ME: I'll say it once and I'll say it again: "Hungry Eyes."
I am a big Adam fan. I hate it when people try to demean him for any reason other then his talent. I think that his sex life is nobodies business but his and anyone that he is involved with! I believe that a lot of the attacks on his performances is based on the fact that he kissed a boy at the Burning Man event. So what! If you have ever been there it is like Woodstock. My own mother was at Woodstock and was NAKED. (She later became an attorney devoted to civil liberties. She was a beautiful young women and did not embarrass the family too much because of her beauty!) She told me long ago that you must never ever let other people define who you are. Adam needs this advice. I am his fan forever!
TB you are a homophobic idiot. But then again it isn't anything I am sure you aren't already aware of... You are just afraid that Adam is going to win and you are so threatened by this that you attack anything and everything but his talent. Are you afraid that he is going to jump through your TV screen and do things to you that you secretly would love? Me thinks you doth protest too much Girlfriend! You remind me of those biggoted preachers running around telling everybody how evil homosexuals are while they are whoring it up with men off the pulpit. Sound familiar?
TB: Gosh that was stupid. Try to pretend that you have more brain cells and more to talk about than just Adam´s sexuality. It is clear to me that there is nothing going on in that head of yours, but AT LEAST!!!! (now that you are so anxious to share you rather irrelevant opinion) At least PRETEND to be intelligent. If you have got nothing smart to say, then be quiet and don´t make a fool of yourself.
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