TOPMOD: Psychological Disturbance

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TOPMOD: Psychological Disturbance

POSTED: Thursday, March 3, 2011, 5:30 PM

Filed Under: Critical Mass | TV TopMod



Hannah, Winner	Nicole, Loser

This season's intro borrows from Black Swan, with models and Tyra in leotards, yoga tights, and kooky tricks with mirrors. And like Black Swan, the point of this episode was to drive these bitches crazy. The models' penthouse apartment is decorated with photos of the semifinalists with labels like "elusive" and "sexy." Then Tyra shows up with her nutritionist to tell them in a hackneyed French accent that being thin is not about deprivation. You can indulge in decadent treats like wheat waffles with peanut butter, or even spaghetti and meatballs. Before the tutorial, Ondrei reveals that both of her brothers are dead, one the victim of a murder. Bummer... Poor Nicole is told that at 20 she looks old and haggard (like, 35) in her photos. Bullshit.

Alexandria gets pissy because it's brought to her her attention that she left raw chicken in the fridge; it went bad, and that's gross. She insists that she knows how to properly store raw meat in spite of her inability to do so, and swears revenge on Dalya, whose name is spelled incorrectly.

Ondrei

Next up, it's acting time, and the girls get asked a bunch of personal questions by acting coach Eugene Buica. They all have to draw their "inner critic." Molly's inner demon looks like Uncle Sam (no, really) and Ondrei cries about her two, count 'em, two dead brothers. Which the producers keep bringing up for dramatic effect, and some of the girls bring up to psych her out. Man, this show got way depressing. The models are rewarded for crying and humiliating themselves with designer jewelry. And Nigel reveals that the point of this is too bring out their humanity for the camera.

Photo shoot! The girls not only models with live bees, but their jewelry is sprayed with pheromones to attract them. This is officially female Jackass. We saw doorknocker earrings covered in bees, and man was it nasty. Anyone remember Candyman? Hannah's copious tears are supposedly great for the camera, and I was pretty curious about the photos.

Tonight's guest judge was Alek Wek! That exclamation point was not sarcastic. For once, they got someone I'm excited to see. Trust me, you've seen her, and she's gorgeous. Ondrei drops out, which is too bad, since she was good competition. But if anyone did worse than her, they still had to go home. The photos are mostly shwang wang wang. I hate to admit it, but Hannah's crying photographed like a dream, and she got best photo props. Nicole, the old biddie, was sent home, and Andre Leon Talley will buy Tyra a sálon at the swap meet. Next week: makeovahs!

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