POSTED: Thursday, February 24, 2011, 9:00 PM
Every Thursday our pop-culture critic Bianca Brown gives the catty, smile-with-your-eyes lowdown on cycle 16 of America's Next Top Model.
America's Next Top Model's Cycle 16 premiered last night with
Tyra spoofing all of the crazy first-day tryouts. The goth girl really spoke to me, because there is always that doom & gloom girl who keeps staying on for no reason. There was a lovely trick of telling the semi-finalists they didn't make it to
make them cry for dramatic effect get them used to rejection in the modeling world. That wasn't really right, but it was pretty cool when the curtain dropped and they were in the mansion.
Monique, who is merely attractive, gets told she's "way too sexy," and will probably be mistaken for a hooker.
Sara is one of those
unbearably annoying edgy and
ugly androgynous girls who gets
undeserved praise encouraged to fulfill their potential.
Brittani is the girl from the wrong side of the tracks, and seeing her cry about the trailer park when she was told she didn't make it (for no reason) makes her the underdog. She, Southern belle
Jaclyn, and
Hannah are my favorites thus far.
The girls discover the house is two beds short, which means
Tyra miscounted two will get eliminated.
Alexandria, who looks like "that bitch" in high school, says she has "natural swag," and everyone can just deal with it, earning my hatred for the rest of the show. The models meet their photog and model/designer
Erin Wasson. I'd love to see them admit they didn't know who that photog/designer/model was before their mandatory squealing. Next up was a runway challenge in individual balloons (think Balloon Boy) walking on a narrow ledge in the water. This is the first time I thought a challenge was way too hard. Two models fell right on the ledge, and my first reaction was, "Oh...bruises." But it was hilarious watching them crawl out.
Brittani was super-impressive, walking out as fierce and coordinated as if sans balloon.
Alexandria (the one we hate) kept bothering
Jaclyn (the one we like) about her walk. Leave her alone, bisnatch. Next is elimination, and exactly two fell. Duh-da-duhhhhh....
At panel, Tyra sucked up to
Andre Leon Talley by wearing a T-shirt with his face. Whatever. Hey, she's thin again.
Mikaela (girl with the brows) seems to be a front-runner, because (I know it's so cliche) her bone structure is kind of exquisite. Talley, who had a big feather in his hat, did not like Brittani's feather in her hair, and told her to "retire it forever." And one of the girls I didn't really notice got eliminated. Until next week, do that squinty thing with your eyes.
