V/A, The Heavy Metal Box Set

POSTED: Thursday, October 18, 2007, 7:00 PM

Filed Under: Music | Album Blast from the Past

Rhino

Beware: Screams that couldn't come from a human being found within

Let’s start with the band names: Angel Witch. Blitzkrieg. Tygers Of Pan Tang. Mercyful Fate. Helloween. Manowar. Now, a couple of song titles: “Attack of the Mad Axeman.” “Witching Hour.” “Black Funeral.” “Hall of the Mountain King.” “Hail and Kill.” “South of Heaven.” “Dead Embryonic Cells.”

Seriously, who comes up with this shit?

Only “666”-chanting, horn-fingered flicking old-school metal fans, of course. Not the ones who take after that pussbag friend of Beavis and Butthead’s in, what was it, a Winger shirt? No, the ones who can actually tell you the backstory of Saxon and still welcome Rob Halford with open arms. That’s who Rhino's four-disc, 71-track collection of metal starting in the 1960s and ending with Nirvana’s onslaught is made for.

It comes in a box designed to look like an old amp, complete with the “11” on the volume knob, but the packaging is not the best part. The accompanying 76-page book – page numbers are written in a spade; fitting, considering Motorhead’s track therein – breaks down the history of metal from Britain all the way through Pantera. With a paragraph dedicated to each track, the photos of the bands are absolutely priceless, almost worth the pricetag in and of itself.

I’ve always had a little headbanger in me; it’s my way of paying tribute to one of the few genre’s of music that elicts a physical response in its listeners. Thing is, I didn’t recognize – or burn – a good third of the songs on here. (Already had “In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida,” which one might argue isn’t metal, like several other tracks in here, but still.) The ones I kept, though – “Ace of Spades,” “The Number of the Beast,” “F**k like a Beast,” “Peace Sells” and so on – are nice additions to any fan’s iPod. (On the downside, thanks to licensing issues, there are some omissions, most notably Axl and the boys.) Then again, any true ’banger probably has most of them already.

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