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Critical Mass 1.0
Collectors of pretty things, take note: Every Friday, we're rounding up a what's-what of what we [heart], culled from the scores of design blogs, artist sites and Etsy treasuries we can't help but stalk on the regular.
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We may be ripping off the title of CP contributor Amy Strauss' delectable food blog here, but bear with us: Posters and tees, we think, are an excellent combo for a sludgy Friday afternoon spent blog-browsing.
First, and most angry-making: The Lost Valentine's cards we showed you earlier today got us thinking about the show (and how we're pretty damn sure Sayid is the new Jacob and why the hell was Desmond on the alternate-universe Flight 815?). Lo and behold we found these amazing vintage-y Lost-inspired posters — like the polar-bear-meets-smoke-monster style, above, and the infinity bunny, right — but, judging by the psycho comments on Mattson Creative's site, they're not for sale. Come on! It's not nice to tease. mattsoncreative.com, spied first at sharesomecandy.com.
Speaking of vintage-y: Book-jacket design is half the reason we get so mad when we hear the word "Kindle." There's something magical about the old-school-iest covers of our favorite novels, and we are just plain sad to see them electronified. Out of Print understands our bookish woes, and thus has created an assembly of iconic and out-of-print books made into tees. We're partial to Slaughter-house Five, but there's something for everyone (for now, only men's sizes are available, but they're remedying that in the spring). $28, outofprintclothing.com, spied first at designworklife.com.
While we're on the topic of Design Work Life: Big ups to local illustrator Dan Judge, who got shouted out on the design blog this Wednesday. He's created posters for Jay Reatard, Parts & Labor and many more, and for the past few years has contributed to Philly-based Screens 'n' Spokes, an annual bike-art fundraiser benefiting the National Multiple Sclerosis Society. Doesn't look like Judge has any work for sale on his site, but hit up Etsy's Screens 'n' Spokes shop to check out his '09 contribution, plus tons of prints from previous years. $15, etsy.com/shop/screensnspokes, spied first at designworklife.com.
Before we go: We've seen this shirt before — it was given to this friend by this friend as a birthday gift last fall — and trust us, it's a winner. Indie clothing blog Hide Your Arms has compiled a list of 200 foodie T-shirts, so even if you're more in favor of anthropomorphic cupcakes than garden shovels, you'll probably find something that suits you. The "Grow Your Own Food" tee, sez Hide Your Arms, is available at Metro Three. $18, hideyourarms.com, spied first at thekitchn.com.
Thanks for the shout-out Carolyn! I have a few prints available on my Etsy page. Check it out: http://www.etsy.com/shop/danjudge
These are too perfect not to share. Illustrator/designer/LiveJournal-using genius Lee Bretschneider has created the best Valentine's Day cards we've ever seen, just in time for the big day. Print 'em out, or add 'em to your Lostie friends' Facebook walls.
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Bretschneider's main Web site, adventuringcompany.com, has a bunch of cool prints for sale, too, and all proceeds will be donated to Haiti via the Red Cross. (No Lost posters up there yet, but we can dream.) Check out more of our favorite Lost V-day cards after the jump, and don't forget to keep up with Patrick Rapa's weekly Useless Lost Recaps. (h/t Jon Solomon)
We like American Idol. Too much.
Tommy Button: The great thing about group performances is that it's in direct contradiction with what American Idol is all about. Up is down! Black is white! People must talk to one another! Of course some eyes are going to get clawed out. The whole thing is like a summer camp team building exercise that ends with everybody pissed off and one girl crying in the corner about how she wants to go home (Read: The Phoenix.)
Molly Eichel: I love group day, simply because it brings out the Machiavellian worst in people and I'm sucker for watching human frailty writ large (why else do you think I watch this much television?). Plus, they play a lot of dramatic music and Ryan Seacrest narrates it like each group is trying to diffuse a nuclear bomb.
TB: The featured groups during this particular episode tend to be the dysfunctional ones. No one wants to see a group of people being happy and getting along. The Cleavers beat that horse to death. Probably the biggest clusterfuck of the night were The Dreamers. Mary Powers was running around 'firing' people and grabbing producers like a crazy person trying to shuffle the group around. It's not like practicing or something like that would have done any good. It's a rookie mistake to think that a regime change will make any difference and Powers' douchery really ruined her initial charm for me. I'm over this little sassy pants.
ME: See, the thing is Mary's just aw-ite. She's got the Nikki McKibben rocker mom thing going for her and that's it. So what? I could also get knocked up at 16, smoke a pack of cigs a day, do some half-assed karaoke version of Stevie Nicks but that just makes me a single mom on the road to emphysema. Not a star. You need Haley Vaughn-style talent to justify that level of batshit. I didn't notice before but she's got a terrible case of the Crazy Eye.
TB: The Mighty Rangers were also just as bad but instead of arguing the whole time they pretended everything was hunky dorey when really no one knew what the fuck they were doing. Half of the group forgot the lyrics after Simon announced, as he does every season, that if you forget the words you suck and are going home. So you think this would be a priority for Chunky Fly Glasses Guy, but it apparently was not.
ME: HOW HARD IS IT TO LEARN ONE VERSE? I know the entire Bruce Springsteen catalog backwards and forwards and they can't learn one goddamned verse? Only Tori Kelly and Maddie Penrose made it through. I can't remember anything Tori did so I don't care about her but who is god's name told Maddie Penrose that wearing large, brightly-colored, plastic-framed glasses was an alright fashion move? She had a pair per outfit so I'm thinking that they were fake, and on behalf of people with poor vision who think sticking small pieces of plastic in their eyes is gross, I take umbrage!
TB: Team Awesome started with potential but by the end they had become just Team Some. Things really started to go down hill with Big Mike's update on his wife's dilating vagina. I mean, if he can't be there the least he could do is tell America his wife's cooter is now 8 cm wide! Uh-oh, she's crowning!
ME: You heartless Idol bastards! She had her baby on national television and you're still gonna kick the guy off for his big-mouthed dad. Whose with me for a Keep Big Mike petition! But speaking of people they kicked off during the telecast, I was sad to see Prison Matt go when his group made the idiotic decision to sing Gwen Stefani's "Sweet Escape" if only because we can't call him Prison Matt anymore.
TB: And what would group performances be without a rivalry? I love taking sides but in the case of Destiny's Wild vs. Neopolitan, everybody loses. Neo sucked and Destiny's Wild was nucking futs with that weird tiger claw, acrobat guy. Worst of all, both groups performed Lady Gaga (with slightly less vag.) This sounds like the nexus of the shitty universe, I know, but magically every member from both groups got through to the next day.
ME: I love the fights that Idol manufactures. Considering Acrobat Guy's talents, how many of you were hoping for a Sharks vs. Jets-style sing-off? All they needed was some in-time snapping and Simon as Officer Krupke to take his night stick to them when they were finished.
TB: With things like the Destiny's Wild/Neopolitan feud I forget how awesome groups like Three Men and a Baby can be. Andrew Garcia is clearly the Selleck of the quartet and even though Katie Stevens was billed as the "baby," she seemed more like a Ted Danson. I'll let the other two fight over who gets to be Guttenberg.
Judges' Table
ME: Judges weren't the focus this round, simply because there's too many fake feuds, too little time for Simon/Kara/Randy/E-dog to piss all over the hopes and dreams of these bright young things.
TB: It felt like the judges were phoning it in tonight. Simon fell in love with a boat analogy and Kara just sat there slack-jawed. Randy twiddled his thumbs and Ellen had a few quips but wasn't her most on. There was an apparent feud between Ellen and Simon amidst Hollywood week so perhaps tensions were running a bit high. But I feel the judges' pain. Although I love me some Hollywood week, it's only an appetizer and I can only eat so many Southwestern Eggrolls before I want my damn Peppercorn Big Mouth Burger.
We like American Idol. Too much.
"Hollywood is a disgusting town." —Ellen Degeneres
Tommy Button: The first three weeks of American Idol are basically a parade of goons and crazy people bookended by some talent right after the commercial break. But this. This is serious. Hollywood week is where the pant-splitting antics won't cut it anymore and if you suck, it's time to look into the eyes of the four-headed monster and accept your fate. However, one of those heads belongs to one of the most absolutely charming people ever! Ellen Degeneres has pretty much everything: She's funny, she's smart AND she thinks its cool to wear jeans and a jean jacket!
Molly Eichel: Propensity for the Canadian Tuxedo aside, Tommy, you're my favorite male lesbian.
TB: The stand out of the whole first day was Compton native Andrew Garcia with his Allen-esque rendition of Paula Abdul's "Straight Up." If anything, he was the most honest of any of the contestants. He was comfortable and he was feeling it. Kris Allen pulled this shit like this out around Top 10 so if this is what Andrew has to offer for the first day of Hollywood, he'll be awesome in the Top 5. That's right. Top 5. I'm calling it.
ME: GangDad Andrew came up with something vastly different than anyone else and I'lld remember him for that. But that's what I don't get about Hollywood week: If you know exactly what you're in for (singing a capella or with your own musical accompaniment for the judges) wouldn't you come up with something that would blow each and every judge's boxes?
TB: Haley Vaughn (the black Carrie Underwood) is another sure thing. I'd bet the farm on that little ray of country sunshine.
ME: If this girl doesn't go Top 12, I may have to rethink my Idol love/move to Mozambique to further avoid the idiocy of the American people. The producers are giving her a ton of camera time though, so I think they're also digging her and considering that Idol is fixed to a certain degree, this is def a good sign. Other high lights for me included Didi Benami, who sounded shitty and shaky at first and then pulled it out at the end. And Dreads Mom Crystal Bowersox, who along with her amazing last name, is totally adorable but desperately needs some Crest White Strips. This is Idol in 2010, baby, and we're living in an HD Nation.
TB: Yet for every sunny day, some rain must fall. It was a sad day for Mr. Skiiboski who, in this humble fan's opinion, was fucking robbed. Sure, he wasn't that great and kind of obnoxious but you can't tell me this man was not good for another day in Hollywood or at least a round in the group audition. Skiiboski, baby, was never gunna make it, sure, but he still got shortchanged.
ME: RIP's Skiiboski's 15 minutes. We hardly knew ye.
TB: Unlike auditions, there are no real crazies so everyone who doesn't get through is just kind of bad. The only loser screen time we get is seeing those bright eyed hopefuls from the past few weeks go home with their shattered dreams. A particularly tough one for me to see leave was Vanessa Wolfe. I can't even look at her without sobbing like a little bitch. But tonight she sucked. I don't think she is in a constant state of suck, but her nerves got the best of her and she just blew it. American Idol is great for the few who make it far but there are others who probably get more out of one day than the winners get out of the whole shebang. Vanessa Wolfe is one of these people.
ME: I, too, was sad to see her go but if I learned anything from watching this show, it's that American Idol is a cruel bitch of a mistress. You just weren't meant for stardom Vanessa, but with a boob job and a manageable alcohol problem, you could be the best stripper your backwater Tennessee town has ever seen. The real tragedy here is Big Mike Lynche, who missed his child's birth to take the Idol stage. Then his dad went blabbing to the local papes about his son's good fortune and the Idol producers kicked him off the show. See, cruel bitch.
Judges' Table
ME: I dug Ellen as a judge. She has this nicey-nice persona as a comedian, but she wasn't afraid to tell it like it is. Even when Paula was being a bitch, she masked it in enthusiastic niceties or vodka-infused slurring.
TB: I don't even feel like I can write about Ellen Degeneres without getting goosebumps and giggling like a school girl. My hearts all a flutter! OH, I hope she likes me back! I don't want to make any rash decisions here because we are in the honeymoon phase still, but she might just be my personal new fave over Randy Jackson. Now, the two as a team — I can get behind that all the way. Simon leaving will destroy the show but replacing him will destroy it faster. Especially if it's Howard Stern. Fuck that guy. Ellen should just take his spot and be Randy's PIC (partner in crime.) They can make fun of Kara, talk about pussy. It'll be great.
Sorry, but I quit reading your review because of your foul language! Is that supposed to be impressive?
one day than the winners get out of the whole shebang. Vanessa Wolfe is one of these people.
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| photo by Michael T. Regan |
| Too Tuff in 2008 |
The assault charges against Joseph Hicks — better known as Too Tuff, resident DJ of Philly's hip-hop forefathers Tuff Crew — were dismissed last night. Hicks toughest fight is still pending however, as he's suffering from thyroid cancer.
For immediate release to all media outlets!
Today at 4:58pm in courtroom 804 at Philadelphia's Criminal Justice Center, all pending charges against Joseph Hicks -aka DJ Too Tuff of the legendary Tuff Crew were dismissed!!
Thank you to all who supported Too Tuff and believed in god, the justice system & the values of love, loyalty and altruism!
Today our prayers were answered,
...next we take on a cure for cancer!
Extra special thanks to the legal dream team of Katherine Muns esq. & Adrienne Kosinski esq.
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File Under: Never Mind
When you read Icepack tomorrow — and I know you will, first thing — you'll see a bit that asks the musical question "is World Café Live's booker/talent buyer Laura Wilson leaving her position there to return to Los Angeles." We asked (and she wasn't ready to comment on the move) not only because we heard she was from close-to-WCL sources. The big word was that the venue's VP/General Manager Neil Sulkes told WCL's exec staff that it was happening (in three weeks) and that he would buy talent/book until they found someone. Nothing bad or sad; Wilson has gone back-and-forth from L.A. before during her time under then WCL booker Karl Mullen whom she replaced after his departure. Sulkes has big time experience. Everything was neat and friendly.
Well, between late Monday night and Tuesday afternoon things changed because Wilson wrote me back to say "I'm not going to leave." Well, yay to that, but what happened? Did hearing The Residents there on Monday night send out positive rays? Did WCL's head honcho Hal Real offer Wilson more money than Lady Gaga (Wilson's rumored new employer for whom she would've worked in tour finances so the whispers went)? Probably not "Poker Face" money, no. So why is she now staying? "I like my job," she exclaimed via email. There's probably more to this story so we'll report back on all developments. Or maybe there won't be any. Who knows?
"There's probably more to this story so we'll report back on all developments. Or maybe there won't be any. Who knows?" or maybe, who cares?
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| cover illustration | Thomas Pitilli |
Back in January, when City Paper published its annual writing contest issue featuring the fiction of Jessica Penzias ("Death by Oboe") and poetry of Sean Webb ("The Bridge"), we set Feb. 10 as the date for our winners reading, figuring blizzard season was over. How foolish we were.
It should come as no surprise that this evening's scheduled reading with Penzias, Webb, fiction judge Elise Juska, poetry judge Thomas Devaney and CP senior editor Patrick Rapa at the Tin Angel in Old City, has been POSTPONED due to the inclement weather.
City Paper, Tin Angel and the readers are working to reschedule for an upcoming Tuesday evening, so please stay tuned here and to the event's Facebook page for updates.
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| mylifetime.com |
| Amy's winning dress |
This week was a bit of a snooze fest at Parsons. There was, for me at least, one highlight that came at elimination. It's just a shame I had to sit through the entire episode to get there.
In a boring attempt to come up with exciting new challenges, ProjRun brought in women who were in some way affected by heart disease as models. The challenge was to make something gala-worthy that must a.) red, and b.) incorporate the Campbell's soup branding somewhere in the design. Right, because when I think of high fashion I immediately think of condensed soup. To be fair, Campbell's is financially supporting a fight against heart disease and that's nothing to sneeze at. (The winning dress is sold at projectrunway.com, with all proceeds going to the Go Red Foundation)
Too bad there was no drama to speak of.
But, lucky for you, there were a plethora of hideous dresses to discuss. Remember that ugly jacket Mila made last week? That thing gave her immunity for this week's challenge. Looking back, that jacket was fabulous compared to this week's explosion of beastly fury. Mila stitched together a red dress that was probably perfect for her model's body — I'll give that to her. But then she decided she was going to put a huge white star on lower right side, and a smaller one above the left hip. "It looks like a cheap flag at the Thanksgiving Day Parade," said Emilio. Honestly, I can't think of a more apt way to describe it. Can I take one second here to just point out Emilio's growing bitchiness? He's got something to say about everyone, and it's less than constructive. I love a little drama in the sewing room, but it's boring when someone just talks trash in the confession booth. Emilio, if you're going to be a diva, let everyone know. Don't hide it, girl.
And speaking of trash-talking, none of the designers wanted to say anything about their "real women" models. How could they? These women have been through enough already with failing hearts and pacemakers, they can't mention arm flub or cankles. When Seth Aaron mentioned that this was "the largest challenge I ever faced as a designer" (emphasis on the largest part) it should have raised some eyebrows. Really, Seth? Maybe it wasn't intentional, but it seemed a little fishy. If you have a bigger body, you just have to work with it.
Take Jesse's dress, for example. While the cropped white jacket was, as Kors mentioned, a little marching band-y, the worse part about it was the fact that it covered up the perfect neckline of the dress, an aspect the judges all loved. When I say perfect neckline, what I mean is boobies galore. This woman had 'em, and Jesse showcased them wonderfully.
Amy was this week's winner with a floor length gown that hid the model's body. During the judging, Kors, Garcia and Klum kept throwing around the word "elegant." It was modern, too, they insisted. It's true. The dress had very delicate details, like the raw edges of the neckline, and the small amount of Campbell's branding at the waist. And although the fabric was swarming around the model, you could actually see her shape when she walked. None of the dresses were all that exciting this week (at least not for the right reasons) but this one was probably the most gala appropriate.
Poor, sweet little Anna made a dress that actually looked alright during construction, but looked dumpy as hell when it was on the model. What was supposed to be flattering to the model's body type ended up emphasizing the less than ideal parts (her broad shoulders) rather than accentuating the good parts (her legs). The bust portion may have been intended to be billowy, but it ended up bunchy. Anna tried to draw the eye in to the cinched waist of the dress, but it just wasn't working. She had a good idea, though, and that's what helped her just barely scrape by.
Who did she just narrowly beat out, you ask? The boy who should have been gone weeks ago, challenge-skirter extraordinaire, Mr. Jesus. Finally, right? Someone must have told him that the challenge was to make the tackiest, ugliest street corner dress, throw some Campbell's business in there, and call it a day. That's clearly the look he was going for with the tight satin mini and gaudy sparkly chain straps, or whatever. Yes, the construction of the dress was flawless. But that doesn't mean anything when the piece is horrid and painful to the eyes. And, as the great Michael Kors mentioned in judging, taste is something that cannot be learned. So goodbye, Jesus, you sub par designer.
The kiss of death seems to be when Heidi says she's 'not sure about your taste.' Jesus was a weak player. It will be interesting to see if Mila can move away from her inset panels (the star/flag dress, and the bat-wing jacket from the week before). It will also be interesting to see if Emilio keeps relying on his ribbon look. Having a signature look is great, but not when you end up being a one-trick pony.
Collectors of pretty things, take note: Every Friday, we're rounding up a what's-what of what we [heart], culled from the scores of design blogs, artist sites and Etsy treasuries we can't help but stalk on the regular.
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Valentine's Day is just around the snowpocalyptic bend, so we thought it timely to point out a few gifts appropriate for sweethearts, honeys and steady crushes.
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First up: Across the pond, self-described "U.K. design junkies" Rockett St. George host a huge line of V-Day-inspired goods, including these customizable Scrabble tile throw pillows. The covers and insides are made from 100 percent recyclable material, and they come in cream and black. If you're made of money, go ahead and load up on you and your one-and-only's monograms; then see what words you can spell. Hours of fun. (By the way, if anyone's got a tip on a Stateside company that sells something similar, let us know.) $71 each (approximately), rockettstgeorge.co.uk. Spied first at Poppytalk.
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Also: Because we're bookish, we particularly adore Brookish's collection of Pride & Prejudice (and not zombies) gifts. She's got stylish black-and-white bangles and ornaments with typewritten Jane Austen quotes; a tea towel boasting that "There's nothing like staying at home for real comfort"; and, most romantically, a Mr. Darcy proposal mug, on which the start of Darcy's memorable, sorta-pathetic speech to Elizabeth Bennett is is handwritten: "In vain I have struggled. It will not do." This applies to other struggles, too. Like cutting down on the coffee. $15, etsy.com/shop/Brookish.
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And then: The economy still sucks, so grand gestures ought to be put on hold this year. Your lovely will understand. Instead, send off the smallest, and therefore most adorable, valentine ever: Leafcutter Designs' clever World's Smallest Letters. Send them your message, and the address to which it should be sent, and they'll transcribe your love note onto teeny 1.5-by-1-inch stationery. A magnifying glass is included with every order, so no squinting; they've also got a World's Smallest Package, which comes with a hand-written note, tons of little buttons, and fits into the palm of your hand. Squee. $8-$10 plus shipping, leafcutterdesigns.com. Spied first at Design*Sponge.
Oh, P.S.: If you're in the mood to spruce up your Twitter homepage, check out Ollibird's free downloads. She's got loads of heart-tastic backgrounds, plus less sicky-sweet ones that'd be pleasant all year round. Free, blog.ollibird.com. Spied first at How About Orange.
RELATED POSTS: Hedgehogs, BookBooks + Haiti, Oh My
We like American Idol. Too much.
Well, I have huevos all over my face. I thought last night was just going to be a shitty clip show featuring only the best, worst and bat shit insane from American Idol's audition circuit (which is why Molly went to go see From Paris With Love instead). I appreciate their efforts, but I don't really need a "previously on American Idol" recap — the shows not that hard to follow. So I was thrown off when I got a pretty decent episode but I'll try my best to bullshit my way through this post.
"General" Pants (On The Ground) had a lovely tribute but I would expect nothing less for a hero than a "POTG" rendition performed by Ithaca College's A Capella group (probably called something like "Tune Up" or "Sweet Emotions") (Side note: Molly's sister Jodie, who is a sophomore at Ithaca actually gave us the scoop on this before the show). Larry Platt is awesome and I hope he returns to perform on the finale. For chrissake, the man fucking fought to desegregate Savannah, got his ass kicked all the way from Selma to Montgomery so that Rev. Hosea Williams could dub him "General" — a name given to him to illustrate his sheer badassness. And if you're ever in Atlanta on September 4th don't forget to celebrate Larry Platt Day. That's right. There's a fucking holiday for him. Where's your holiday? Right. So shut up and show some respect.
Oddly enough, there were lots "never before seen" contestants who were left out until now for reasons I can't comprehend. The majority of them were more interesting and often better than other contestants from subsequent episodes. Even the weirdos were weirder! Take the 6'8" gentle giant who sang like a 13-year-old girl. He was more fun to watch than some redneck being told he sucks just so he can flip out on the judges while America watches uncomfortably. If American Idol wanted to save the best for last, I really wish they wouldn't have prefaced the best with six weeks of bullshit.
I really enjoyed the episode but it still exhausted me. And the fact that watching television makes me exhausted is another topic all together. But it was like I had finished a multiple choice test only to find an essay portion on the last page. I'll just take my D and move on. If anything this was just a way for American Idol to hedge it's bets and give some screen time to people before Hollywood airs next week.
Hollywood week might be my favorite portion of the show because it's the survivor round. This is the week where people fight, back stab, double talk and cry. Boy, do they cry. I shouldn't have to mention it, but Hollywood week is also when we welcome Ellen Degeneres to the judge's table. From what I gathered from the few seconds of clips, Ellen has some sack. I don't think she is going to be the nice, cutesy Paula fill-in we thought she'd be. Leave the pats on the back to Kara, Ellen is here to shake things up.
Another side note: Even though my readership is only as widespread as the people in my office I force to read this, I want to wish a happy birthday to my mom in Brenham, TX. You don't look a day over awesome. Love you!
You're awesome, Tommy! d
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