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Critical Mass 1.0
We like American Idol. Too much.
Molly Eichel: First off, let's talk about how someone has finally put my immense talent to good use: Spike Eskin from WYSP asked me to participate on his Idol podcast. Yes, be jealous. Listen as I discuss the episode at length, feign shock at the break-up of Fall Out Boy and try my darndest not to say fuck every other word.
Tommy Button: Molly, I always said you had a face for radio. And a personalty for public radio! But seriously, folks. I've been working on my radio voice for at least two weeks and I think I got it down pat. Prepare to have your eardrums sexed real good in the coming weeks.
Denver Auditions
TB: So, American Idol kicked off Black History Month by featuring one of the whitest cities in America. Sorry, Seattle.
ME: Yes, but how many cities can make that many "rocks" puns? I love a good rock pun. Denver rocks, Rocktober ... Naw, fuck it, they suck.
TB: J.D. Salinger (R.I.P.) once said something about sitting above a trap door and maybe, at some point, it might give way and he would disappear. If only there had been a trap door in Denver last night. Denver was a super yawn-fest for me and that only has a little to do with how much LOST blew my mind and more with the fact it was Becks' second round at the judges table. I felt like I had already seen this episode.
ME: Right, they kept telling us how great everyone in Mile High was but I didn't see that much that blew my mind. I was also disappointed that it was Becks, again too. While I had to wait to see his episode, NPH was clearly the strongest judge. Becks was in the words of Randy "My hideously-colored orange shirt matches my watch" Jackson: "It was just awright, dawg."
TB: According to the montage and omnipotent Seacrest voice over, Denver was supposed to be some sort of beacon of talent but I didn't see it. Ever since Obama rolled through town Denver acts like it shit doesn't stink. The thin air was getting to the judges head's. Especially Becks. You need a hearty bangers and mash before you make a trek like that, mum. It seemed like anybody could get in. So while Denver made a splash this week I'm sure it'll just ripple off and Elway will once again be the only thing to come out of Denver that was worth a damn. Because God knows Rocky Mountain oysters haven't made a name for you yet.
ME: This ep showed what I've always hated about Idol: The proliferation of White Girl Voice. Much like the girls who are usually cursed with it: It's too thin, kind of a bitch and is only awesome in small doses. Like Kimberly Kerbow.
What really worried me about Kimberly wasn't her White Girl Voice, so much as her awful wig. How terrible does her real hair look if she thought polyester hair was ok? I'm going to go ahead and assume in the morning that she looks like this:
TB: One of my favorites was that little ball of YEAH!: Haeley Vaughn. If I didn't say it earlier, I'm saying it now that it's a girls year. And it's not just a girl's year, it's a COUNTRY year!!! Haeley had a lot and then some. Her voice is so different than her look but she's so confident in the way she sings. Look out, Charlie Pride.
ME: Agreed! Haeley's already a favorite of mine for the Top Twelve. What excites me so much about Haeley is that while she wants to sing country, she doesn't only have to sing country. She's got the same thing that Patsy had: She's got twang but also soul. Plus, sob story much? Preemie baby, dead dad. Man, if there's one thing this show teaches us, it's that life sucks.
TB: Besides Haeley I thought there was only one other stand out — Mark Labriola. He came out looking a little like the Fly wearing a dumb hat but ended up impressing. He even told his crazy, Runaway Mom story candidly instead of the usual "My life has been a struggle" mumbo-jumbo. Really though, Mark seems like the perfect candidate to grow. He has what it takes but Hollywood is all about keeping your head above water and nothing sinks faster than a goofball.
ME: Yeah, he had an okay voice but he sounded really nervous and out of breath the entire time. Honestly, what I liked most about Mark was his adorable kid. I'll be shocked if he makes it out the semifinals. Still, I was kind of hoping at the end that Mark would end the sentence "This is for my mom who couldn't be here" with "because she's in prison." Then he could commune with Prison Matt!
TB: Even Denver's crazy people were sub-par. However, "long snapper" (I think we all know what that means), aka Paul Austin, made a pretty strong impression. Merely because he embodies what I love to see fail.
Believe it or not, America, I played football. I was a center. A center. Even I fucked with the long snapper. And I had another guy's hands beneath my balls all afternoon. But it was the quarterback's hands...
ME: I'm going to say with 85 percent certainty that he has a small penis. He drives a motherfucking moped for chrissake.
Judges' Table
ME: What was about with Becks' eye make-up both nights? It all got a little "Hey, baby, you want a date?"
TB: There isn't much I have to say about Victoria Beckham that a nutritionist hasn't said already. So I'll just leave at that.
Tommy, You stole that radio joke from Aaron. Shame.
Well you totally omitted the real lady standout of the night, guys. WAY TO GO.
Jacques-Jean "JJ" Tiziou come on down!
Tiziou will head up How Philly Moves â a 50,000 square foot mural facing Interstate 95 at the Philly International Airport. The scene is of a busy bunch of dancer performing in a variety of styles. Tiziou already held one photo shoot as a way to explain his design, but you can get in on the action too. From the press release:
On March 5-7, 2010, an additional 60 dancers will be photographed by JJ Tiziou at the Painted Bride Art Center and a selection of these images will be incorporated into the final design of How Philly Moves. Both professional dancers and those who simply like to dance are invited to submit an application to be photographed. The 60 dancers selected will be notified in advance of this three-day event. Information on applying can be found at www.muralarts.org or www.HowPhillyMoves.org.
From now until its dedication in June 2011, Tiziou and a crew of 40 artists and workers with Mural Arts Program will tackle the massive enterprise.
Two big art jawns in one morning? I need more coffee.
Also, read our esteemed Publisher Paul Curci's take on the project.
RELATED: Shooting Star: Photographer J.J. Tiziou thinks you are beautiful.
gay
Is photography really the best way to plan a mural? I guess it depends on how the photos are painted in the end (this is a painted mural, isn't it?)
While most of you were either sleeping or bitching about the groundhog's shadow, the heads of the Kimmel Center and representatives of philanthropist Leonore Annenberg's Annenberg Foundation announced the Philadelphia International Festival of the Arts, that will run for three weeks starting April 7, 2011.
Like the Live Arts Fest with a French theme, the PIFA promises "an out-of-the-box" citywide celebration with nods to Philly's arts, cultural and culinary scenes influenced by early 20th Century Paris.
So far that means a first-time collaboration between the Philadelphia Orchestra and the Pennsylvania Ballet on the classic French ballet Pulcinella, and The Roots playing with a yet-unnamed French chanteuse. Additional performances will be unveiled on April 7, 2010.
Funding for the massive event comes from a $10 million Annenberg grant and corporate sponsorship.
"Not in memory has the city hosted so much performing and visual arts linked by a common thread and packed into a one-month festival," said PIFA executive director Ed Cambron in a press release. "The philosophy for PIFA is collaboration, creativity and innovation, which means our audiences will see a multitude of new works, unprecedented partnerships and performances that will happen only here."
What a boon for the city! The video on the website www.pifa.org gets you excited for the festival.
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| mylifetime.com |
| Mila's winning look. |
Re-capping Project Runway, fashionably on-time.
Week three began with Heidi telling the cast they were about to meet some of the top designers in the world. Tricky, tricky lady: She sent the kiddies to the Metropolitan Museum of Art to meet up with Tim Gunn and ogle 10 original couture pieces from the Costume Institute. The clothes were meant to inspire the eager little beavers for the tasks ahead. Poppa Gunn then doled out $500 for their challenge — the largest sum in PR history — for the materials to make a high-end signature look. The (first) catch with this challenge? Teams of two. Plenty of opportunity here for some diva ego-slashing this week. And what could be better, honestly? With team captains picking their partners, there was even a slight level of authority bestowed upon half the designers.
Like fat kids at kickball, Jesse and Anna were the last two designers to be chosen by a captain. Ping — Captain Crazy — chose Jesse as her teammate, leaving Anna to sew with the talented Mr. Emilio. Team Ping was a sad train wreck from the get-go. Jesse, apparently finding himself to be perfect and his captain to be mildly retarded, decided to boss around and criticize Ping rather than try to work with her to create an ensemble they could both be proud of. And so the two put together a gray-and-black, lace-and-satin atrocity, a mirror image of the head-butting that took place between them. The draping looked tacked on to the dress, and the model had to hold it up. Michael Kors told the disastrous duo at elimination that in order for the dress to even work the way it was intended to, "[the model] has to stand like the Statue of Liberty." Not a vogue pose at all. The dress, in the end, was Ping's demise and she was sent home after a teary goodbye.
Jesus, unfortunately, still remains.
Anthony was dubbed captain of his team, of course, and chose Seth (or Seth Aaron as he's calling himself these days). Although the red was eventually dropped from their original design, Anthony remarked that because of the black, red and yellow dress, they may as well have been "designing a dress for the vice president of McDonald's. However, everybody needs a dress." Oh Anthony, come hang out with me, OK? The team put together a doozy of a ballgown in the color "bumblebee." The black double-wide skirt looked like the world's biggest trash bags with a collection of children hidden beneath. It was painful.
This week's winner, for whatever reason, was Mila. She made this black bat-wing jacket with two white stripes. It looked like a flying squirrel in workout gear, and it gave the woman immunity for next week's challenge. The jacket was thrown on over a dull top and black skinnies that had a fat, white stripe running down the seam on both legs. None of this week's designers were outstanding, really, but I'm not sure that this one was a great example of high-end fashion. Oh, and her poor teammate — and apparent minion — Jonathan, did tons upon tons of actual constructing while Mila modeled her jacket in the mirror and thought about things, I guess.
But it didn't stop at just one outfit per team. Here's where catch No. 2 rears its ugly head, so try to stay with me here. About halfway through the allotted work time, the seven teams were dealt a heavy blow. Not only did they have to finish their design, but they had to make a second piece that was a $50 "look for less" version of another team's high-end design by the end of the following day. They were instructed to be inspired by the signature look, but not to copy it — this was key. Honestly, most of these second designs were boring, and only two were really worth mentioning.
Team Janeane and Ben made as their couture piece a little black dress and jacket that was so dull it was shocking. They were given $500 for materials and came up with this, for God's sake? Pathetic. The only good thing that came out of this was team Jay and Maya's $46 version of this dress. It was 10 times better than the original. They did, however, photocopy the look and add a few more details. Somehow the judges failed to mention much on this plagiarism that was clearly discouraged. To further their embarrassment, Ping and Jesse made a cheaper version of Jesus and Amy's duller-than-day-old-dishwater dress. They got the "cheaper" part down. And if Ping and Jesse were going for frumpy, they nailed it. The drab little number didn't fit the model at all. You know why? Because Ping didn't fit her for the dress! Is it any wonder, then, that this wacky yet imaginative designer was sent packing? Her original dress was dreadful, and the inspired look for less was even worse. While it seemed obvious that Ping was constantly on the verge of losing a challenge, I have to wonder if Jesse's asshole ways and "I'm so much smarter than you" attitude helped remove her from the show. What a punk.
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| christopherricebooks.com |
Last week I telephoned gay mega-author Christopher Rice to chat about his trip to Philly this weekend. He'll be in town hosting a cocktail-hour reading and fundraiser to benefit Giovanni's Room, which you can read more about in this week's A&E section. While I had him on the line, I also probed him for insight about current gay legislation, his writing process and if he got a free ride into the publishing world by having a famous mother — Anne Rice.
City Paper: As a gay author, you probably have an especially personal reason to want gay bookstores like Giovanni's Room to stay in business.
Christopher Rice: Absolutely. I think the reasons are many — not just the pure marketing reasons for gay writers. There's the idea that they're like community centers that aren't exclusively about the sale of alcohol and pursuit of sex. If we lose them, we better replace them with something — and an Internet chat room is not a suitable replacement for a gay bookstore.
CP: You live in California. Do you feel the latest movement to repeal Prop 8 seems promising?
CR: I've always believed this battle will be won in the courts. The majority does not have the right to rule on the rights of the minority. That's not how this country works. I am concerned about how it will fare in the Supreme Court, though. With the way the court is stacked now it could be a very close call, but even if we do lose there, a victory at the federal level will be incredibly meaningful. The people in California who voted on Prop 8 were wrong. They voted out of fear, ignorance or the worst kind of childish selfishness. They withheld a right from a segment of the population that only wanted to do good with that right. I will never understand their position. I will never sympathize with it and I will never celebrate them.
CP: I want to talk about your career path as a writer. As the son of Anne Rice, did you catch a lot of flak in the beginning about having an easier way in than other writers?
christopherricebooks.com
CR: You get respected in the industry if you produce a product that sells. That's the bottom line. If I had been just Anne Rice's son and the first book hadn't gone anywhere, then you probably wouldn't be interviewing me today, but I'm still around and still given the opportunity to publish novels, which is amazing. I think the famous last name obviously opens a lot of doors, but it's still my responsibility to do something once they're open. You can't just coast right through and keep reminding everyone of who your mother is and expect to keep having a career — at least in the publishing world. But if I were backed in the wall about it, it's been nothing but a blessing from the beginning. There are very few complaints I can make about my journey in publishing. I'm still around and my fifth book, called Moonlit Earth, is coming out in April.
CP: It sounds science fiction-y. Are you trying something new this time around?
CR: No, it's not sci-fi at all. It's a thriller. It's about a young woman whose gay flight attendant brother is on a security camera leaving a hotel in Hong Kong with an unidentified man when a bomb goes off that kills 60 people. Suddenly he's missing, he's not among the dead and he's not in touch with his family. The main character then flies to Hong Kong to find him, save his reputation and his life.
CP: The main character is a straight female? Does that mean there is less of a gay theme in this book than the ones you've written in the past?
CR: The central character is a female, but I think gay readers will be happy with it. It is similar to my last book. The first three books were about sexuality, period. There was gayness included but the stories were about sex. The last book, Blind Fall, and this book are about sexual identity. The gay people in the stories are seeking to remain in the closet so they don't lose their status and don't lose their career. They're lives aren't focused on sexual behavior. There are many gay characters in Moonlit Earth, but you won't meet them in the bathhouse. [Laughs]
CP: The storyline sounds like something you'd see on Nancy Grace. Do you get story ideas by watching the news?
CR: I think a lot of writers in the mystery and suspense genres look at how news stories are playing on TV or online and they say, "Well, based on the limited information given, I bet I could fill in the gaps of that story and give it a better ending that's more satisfying for everyone." I think a lot of us do that.
That sounds interesting. christian louboutin peep toe shoes
Thanks Christian. He was a really nice guy.
Collectors of pretty things, take note: Every Friday, we're rounding up a what's-what of what we [heart], culled from the scores of design blogs, artist sites and Etsy treasuries we can't help but stalk on the regular.
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| twelvesouth.com |
Before we let our nerdy design hearts get carried away with themed Coveted roundups (letterpress Valentine's cards, your time is nigh), we'll start simply with a quick tour of lovely things to lust after, both locally and not-so.
First up: Twelve South's BookBook (pictured, above), a charming, old-school laptop case that snugly encases MacBooks and MacBook Pros, shielding them from the elements. No two hardback leather cases are alike, and since the BookBook looks like an old musty library volume, it's not likely your neighborhood thief's gonna think to swipe it from you. (Books are so 1997.) Watch Twelve South, a company that makes computer accessories solely for Mac users, for the inevitable BookBook for iPad. How meta. $79.99, twelvesouth.com. Spied first at designspongeonline.com.
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Next: We blogged about the Etsy Hearts for Haiti shop last week, but here's a friendly reminder that the site — which donates 100 percent of proceeds (except for PayPal/Etsy fees) to Doctors Without Borders — is still up, and there's a ton more stuff to choose from this week. We think it's pretty great that Etsy artist-crafters are so willing to donate their wares (we bought goodies from Shagpile and Iktomi so far, and we ain't done shopping) to such a great cause, especially Hightower Botanicals, whose rosemary necklace is molded straight from the real thing. Snap it first, before we cave and snatch it ourselves. $79, etsy.com/shop/heartsforhaiti. Spied first at balancedcrafts.com.
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And then: By the time we turn 30, we will have approximately 8 million unframed prints hung haphazardly on our walls. We cannot stop buying them; we have a problem. Fine. But look at this: The Working Proof's This Land is Your Land 8-by-10 digital print, a much greener vision for these our United States. Fifteen percent of sales go to American Forests, a nonprofit conservation org that promotes healthy forest ecosystems. Really, everyone wins. $45, theworkingproof.com. Spied first at poppytalk.blogspot.com.
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Oh, also: Local gal Sarah Louise Hunt, proprietress of Mouse Trap Vintage, may be keenest on mice (she's got city and country mouse pins for sale, in any fabric imaginable, on her Etsy site), but they eek us out a little. We much prefer hedgehogs, or at least the idea of hedgehogs, which is why we are sweating hard her vintage 4-inch hedgehog dish, all crackly and sunny and not likely to be found sniffing around our apartment, unlike some critters. Does this mean the owl fad is finally over? $12, etsy.com/shop/mousetrapvintage.
P.S.: Speaking of cute, Philly sculptor Darla Jackson, who created an anthropomorphic under-the-sea bunny world at Mew Gallery last year (we miss you, Mew; we miss you, anthropomorphic bunnies), is back — this time at the Philadelphia Art Alliance, with the new exhibit "While You Were Out." Her blog is worth checking out, too — it's where we found her "Surprise Party" installation, featuring gorgeously crafted, anatomically correct wild animals wearing vibrant party hats. We can't afford Surprise Party (Birds) by any means, but we can make it our desktop background, thankyouverymuch. $300, darlajacksonsculpture.com.
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We want to know what's on your RSS feed. Hit us up (carolyn.huckabay@citypaper.net) with tips and treats.
Thanks for including me in this post! Awesome, totally covetable stuffs! :)
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We like American Idol. Too much.
Dallas Auditions
After he watched American Idol last night, Barack Obama gave his first State of The Union address. He talked a lot about jobs and health care, even gave the gays a shoutout, but surprisingly didn't mention why Randy Jackson had a shirt on that just said "dude." You would think a man desperately trying to reconnect with the American people would at least give a few minutes to talk about American Idol. Mr. President, prove you are not just a president of words, but of song, as well. Rahm Emanuel probably wouldn't let him bring it up; he much prefers America's Got Talent as a cultural barometer. Plus, he loooooves the Hoff.
There haven't been a lot of great cities in this season's audition tour, but Dallas proved to be chock full of talent as it has in past seasons. I'm a born and bred Texan, and I think Dallas sucks and I hate the Cowboys so saying Dallas is awesome isn't easy. But facts don't lie. 31 people from Dallas went to Hollywood, putting all the other cities to shame.
Lloyd Thomas busted out some Stevie Wonder as well as a Texas-sized portion of charm. If Lloyd, NPH and I ever get together in one room, there might just be a charm Chernobyl. Lloyd has a beautiful, sweet voice that probably sings his daughters to sleep every night or at least rocks the mic at company parties. Doogie gave the best diagnosis, though, saying that he needed a little more pizazz in his performance. Let some of that charisma out on the stage and it'll be as Lloyd put it himself: "delicious."
Erica Rhodes, the Barney girl, kind of freaked me out and it freaked NPH out too. As any reasonable human being should be freaked out, because that performance of the Barney theme in vinyl booty shorts and a whip was like something you'd find under Captain Kangaroo's mattress. Dave Pittman gets an A+ in song choice. When most people go for a Sam Cooke song, they go for something like "You Send Me," so it was nice to hear something new. And he showed some real sack getting up there with Tourette's. It wasn't even the hilarious type of Tourette's, either.
When Todrick Hall said he wrote his own song and started to sing about himself, I thought he was bound to fail. Once I got past the cutesy wootsey-ness of the whole shtick, he turned out to be a good singer with a lot of rhythm. But to stick around he's got to turn out an amazing song in Hollywood unless all the themes are "Todrick Hall." He's a wild card and I like betting on the wild card, so I think this guy will turn out to be better than he was in his audition.
Christian Spear was my favorite girl to come out of Dallas. She's sweet and pretty with a siren's voice. Joe Jonas was thinking about handing in that V-Card a little early during her performance. I know that look. She automatically gets points for singing Etta James, which is impressive for a 16-year-old. And 16-year-old's are typically more annoying that they are impressive. Spear has a leg up on the competition because she is so young. Her voice can grow and grow on the show, you know? As long as she doesn't start to blow or set the bar low I think she'll go. Far.
Normally the part where I get to talk shit is the hardest because there is so much suck to sort through, but it was pretty clear this week. Julie Kevelinghan, Season 1 hopeful, came back after an 8-year Idol training period ready to walk all over that damn Kelly Clarkson. Clearly, this will end with security forcing her out of the room. She didn't even leave enough space for her own name on her pep sign — an image that pretty much summed up the whole performance. The only other awful person I couldn't stand was ray of sunshine, Vanessa Johnston. Someone needs to take that thing down a peg or two or at least call animal control. Personally, I thought everyone was too easy on her. Simon called her a "nightmare," which is putting it lightly. In my nightmares my eyes are ripped out by a mutant three-toed sloth. Unfortunately, in reality my eyes must be subjected to Vanessa Johnston.
Judges' Table
Neil Patrick Harris will always be in my top 10 favorite people alongside Ben Franklin, Hakeem Olajuwon and Levon Helm. I can even forgive him for being best friends with Kara. I'm sure there was some point when he thought he might need a beard. Interestingly, Kara is not any cooler by being friends with the coolest person ever. Weird. I actually found myself siding with NPH more than Mr. Cowell, who had some chip on his shoulder during day one. He was probably just feeling a little out-charmed, out-styled and out-awesomed. And did anybody else see that little twinkle in Seacrest's eye when he was getting the NPH Halftime Report? I hear wedding bells.
I feel like I should hate the Jonas Brothers on pure principal but after this week's episode, I have no qualms with the Jonas clan. Joe Jonas had a tough act to follow so of course didn't shine as brightly as Barney Stinson, but he did alright. He was in an awkward position because he had to try so hard not to be a dick, which meant all he could do was just sit there and nod his head politely. Joe Jonas has got to make a buck and he can't do that if he makes 15-year-old girls cry.
it's a great contest in an America. American Idol and it's really a very good platform for youngsters..
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We like American Idol. Too much.
L.A. Auditions
This week is going to be a little different, kids. Molly Eichel's got a pre-season BBQ-eating competition in Austin this week so it's just you and me. It'll be like that time your mom went to wine country with her book club and all you had to eat was canned soup and frozen waffles for a week.
This episode did the most excellent job of summing up L.A. as a sea of delusional people who are all "gunna make it" and a few talented people sprinkled here and there. Four, actually. There were four people. And four is probably less than a sprinkle, but I'm no scientist.
Mary Powers lived up to her name with a nice, but predictable Pat Benatar rendition. She has a gravelly "punk rock" voice, as Avril put it, that's great at its best and a lame affectation at its worst. Simon nailed it in calling it cliché. Her daughter is great, though. And awesome kids usually have pretty cool parents, so she should stop shopping at Hot Topic and just be the cool rockin' mom. Everyone loves a cool rockin' mom.
Then along came Tasha Layton and I forgot all about Mary Powers. Besides being a better singer, she had a lot more ease and authenticity about her. Her voice is a sweet and a refreshing departure from some of the big voices. I think this year is a girl's year and she just might be a contender. She's a lady Kris Allen, which is barely the man Kris Allen.
I know the producers at AI wanted me to think Chris Golightly was the shit and all, but I wasn't buying it. Andrew Garcia was my No. 1 last night. By now I take it you all know how much of a sucker I am for a good story and this guy had a doozy. His parents were gang members growing up in Compton, for chrissake. There's an N.W.A joke in here somewhere but seriously, that shit is hardcore so I won't try. I hope him and Prison Matt become buds. Back story aside, his voice was so smooth and soulful-sexy — like a chocolate strawberry. He has this Danny Gokey vibe that I'm not hating either.
And that's it for the diamonds, how about some rough?
L.A. was introduced by the lovely face of Neil Goldstein, a 19-year-old with an IQ of 160-something old stuck in an old man's body. Oh, and he can't remember the lyrics to "Rock n' Roll Dreams Come Through." I could sing "Bat Out Of Hell" in it's entirity after a frontal lobotomy while boxing a kangaroo.
Damien Lafover: Martial Artist, Pacifist, Pepperoni Sandwich Maker, Isley Brothers Aficionado, Choke Artist.
I came in half way through the whole "I touch myself" situation but I think I got the jist. However, Jason gets props because he was the only person who had the guts to mention the elephants in the room (see judges' table). And he gave Seacrest his number. Bravo, good sir. Bravo.
JUDGES' TABLE:
Avril Lavigne must be doing this for money to finally remove those horns from her head. I mean, Simon "officially" called her a "devil." Maybe not THE Devil, but most certainly "a devil." I really didn't understand why she was there in the first place (unless we all took a hot tub time machine back to 2002), but the Googles tell me she has a new album coming out AND she wrote the song for the end credits of Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland. But a gun in my mouth. Will that man not stop?
But, magically, Lavigne turned into Katy Perry who brought along the two biggest stars of the day. Her boobs. I'm a little dumbfounded to be honest. I was ready to hate all over Perry but so far she's been my favorite guest judge next to MJB. She was giving Kara shit all day and after the Karaweth lovefest last week, it was good to see a hard egg in the room.
Speaking of hard eggs, stay focused out there, Molly. You're going up against Kobayshi in the fall and we don't want a repeat of what happened last time.
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| ureader.org |
| Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi |
Wing Bowl: Now more than just a place to watch dangerously obese men stuff their faces with chicken.
Michael Klein reports that Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi from MTV's Jersey Shore will appear at this year's Wing Bowl, the venerable annual mass eating competition that will take place at the Wachovia Center on Feb. 5.
Klein doesn't know what Snooki will actually do at Wing Bowl (Note to organizers: PLEASE MAKE HER COMPETE), but considering her role on the reality TV show, it will most likely involve dancing whilst flashing her cooter or getting punched in the face.
I don't know about you guys, but I'm pretty much down for both.
All I gotta say is too bad it's not Pickle Bowl.
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| mtv.com |
To quote poetess JWOWW, "Yo, seriously, she's like on a whole 'nother level on pickles."
RELATED: The invasion of the B-celebs: Pam Anderson and Jersey Shore cast in Philly
If there was really a benevolent God up in heaven, would he really allow this disgusting pile of shit to walk the same earth as all of us good people? The Brooklyn teacher that punched this cow in the face should be given the medal of honor. It's too bad he didn't knock her useless head right off her neck into a toilet bowl so we could once and for all flush this enormous turd away for good. I hope another teacher from Brooklyn gives her an atomic roundhouse kick right to the uterus and sends it shooting out her asshole so this sow doesn't bring any more of her ilk onto this good earth. The only way this woman could make me happy s if she lowered herself into a vat of molten iron like Arnold did in terminator II, otherwise we should drop her from a plane into a Taliban village so they can violate her with their stinking, shit wiping, hands and camel fucking dicks until a drone fires a hellfire missile right into her face .
I'm formulating a pickle flavored wing recipe for snickers right now!!!!
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| ©Scott Weiner 2010 |
| Ronnie, Sammi Sweetheart and photo bomber party thrower Rocco Notte. |
It's an easy shot to say that a Philly-weekend filled with kids from MTV's Jersey Shore making their first post-show appearance and Pamela Anderson shilling perfume at Rite Aid (to say nothing of the fact that Pammy's PR team asked photogs if they'd use subject-softening ring lenses on her) would be the very height of trash culture and C-list celebrity. So why bother? Why not just enjoy the fruits of so much silliness and dig the pop cultural detritus. Besides, it's not like you had to sit through this stuff.
Then again, maybe you were at McFadden's on Friday night to see Sammi Sweetheart and Ronnie from Jersey Shore. Driving past a seemingly endless sea of fist-pumping guidos, my guess is some of our readers were amongst the 1000+ crew there to see the Jersey Shore schnorrrers. We hear there was lots of throwing up, that Ronnie and Sammi looked likes deer in headlights when the swarm gathered near their VIP table and that tequila-sipping (?) Hailey Glassman and Kate Major — two Jon Gosselin exes who got photographed for the first time ever by my bud Scott Weiner — and a hat-chewing Michael Lohan hung tough and had a blast even if the guests of honor seemed frightened.
Next day, it was Pamela Anderson plugging her Malibu perfumes (pink and blue) at Rite Aid stores in Narberth and Ardmore. Yes, she was signing bottles of her scent, like the Crit Mass team told you about way back. She was also signing copies of old Playboy mags that lots of boys (well, some old boys) slipped in under the cover of a promise that they'd buy Malibu later. Gents, you promised. Rite Aid in Narberth in the brisk chill of a January afternoon? Life doesn't get sadder does it?
That said, things brightened up when Pam with Heatherette designer Richie Rich hit the 360 Club inside Parx Casino in Bensalem where apparently she drank Dom Perignon and met John Bolaris before heading to Zee Bar at the end of the night.
No vomiting was reported, except maybe for the little bit of water I found in my mouth at the thought of all this.
Thanks to Scott Weiner for braving all of this stuff. Check Icepack every week for more celeb action.
RELATED: Jersey Shore cast members head up B-list extravaganza at McFadden's
Jersey Shore is over, but the mammaries live on... Check out "Jersey Shore (A Love/Hate Song)" at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iNq7LyJ5dAc
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