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Poetic License
Devoted poet/avid concert-goer/nerd-grrrl extraordinaire Jane Cassady's weekly horoscopes run in this space every Friday morning.
Gemini (May 19-June 21): Happy birthday month, Gemini! This summer, you’ll have everything: fireworks, bright beach days, those Fourth of July cakes with blueberries for stars and strawberries for stripes — everything, and it’ll be the sweetest!
Cancer (June 22-July 23): Your life is a celebration of edits and submissions. Proofread carefully. Make sure that even your status updates are grammatically correct. Feel free, though, to be immoderate in your use of exclamation points.
Leo (July 24-Aug. 23): “When Christo and I met, he was an artist and I was not. I became an artist only out of love for Christo, and if he had been a dentist, I would have become a dentist” (Jeanne-Claude). Your love is as generous as The Gates, so big it could wrap up the Reichstag.
Devoted poet/avid concert-goer/nerd-grrrl extraordinaire Jane Cassady's weekly horoscopes run in this space every Friday morning.
Taurus (April 19-May 18): "Love many things, for therein lies the true strength, and whosoever loves much performs much, and can accomplish much, and what is done in love is done well” (Vincent Van Gogh). However you steer your constellations, darling, I know you’ll make it warm and beautiful.
Gemini (May 19-June 21): The stars throw around a lot of flowering tree metaphors, we know, but you really are a wealth of them: a lilac festival. A cherry blossom jamboree, a forsythia resolution, yellow as anything. See all the riches?
Cancer (June 22-July 23): According to Marianne Moore, poems should be “imaginary gardens with real toads in them.” It’s time to put in the morning glories, to go pick out some pretty annuals, to water the trees and flourish. The toads will come.
Devoted poet/avid concert-goer/nerd-grrrl extraordinaire Jane Cassady's weekly horoscopes run in this space every Friday morning.
Taurus (April 19-May 18): It’s a new month, try a new medium. Try working in exaggerations, or omelets, or check-off boxes. Whatever you make, be prolific.
Gemini (May 19-June 21): Whatever you have to say that’s new, say it — ring it out across the crowd and damn the judges. Read it off paper, or off your phone, or scan the wall murals for hidden messages, just say it, already, say something new.
Devoted poet/avid concert-goer/nerd-grrrl extraordinaire Jane Cassady's weekly horoscopes run in this space every Friday morning.
Taurus (April 19-May 18): “We are strong, we are faithful/ we are guardians of a rare thing/ we pay close careful attention/ to the news the morning air brings/ we show great loyalty /to the hard times we've been through” (The Mountain Goats). Gather everybody up, Taurus, and hang on till your knuckles are white.
Gemini (May 19-June 21): Velcro your feet to the ground and wait for the mail to come. You can hope for be-stickered, handwritten letters, on time and with stamps marked “Celebrate.” So celebrate!
Cancer (June 22-July 23): Switching from winter clothes to summer clothes reminds me of you, all lacy and bright, all glittered and optimistic. Fold up all the sweaters and throw out bedraggled boots. Keep out only the most flowered scarves.
Devoted poet/avid concert-goer/nerd-grrrl extraordinaire Jane Cassady's weekly horoscopes run in this space every Friday morning.
Taurus (April 19-May 18): Taurus is closed this week for renovations. The stars are recalibrating. Thanks, The Mgmt
Gemini (May 19-June 21): I think of you and Mitch Hedberg whenever I see an escalator that is “Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience.” You may need to climb a little, but not that far.
Cancer (June 22-July 23): You’re wondering what to name your story. May I suggest Comfy Forever or Sharper Than Sun? How about Happy on the Couch? The stars just won’t call you late for dinner.
Devoted poet/avid concert-goer/nerd-grrrl extraordinaire Jane Cassady's weekly horoscopes run in this space every Friday morning.
Aries (March 21-April 18): I tried cutting up the lyrics to T.I’s "Whatever You Like" in order to rearrange them into a poem, but with little success. The song must’ve already been perfect, like you.
Taurus (April 19-May 18): Enjoy another fine day of being a prodigy. Compose a symphony before dawn and bring down the house. Install environmental art to rival Christo and Jeanne-Claude. After lunch, save lives.
Devoted poet/avid concert-goer/nerd-grrrl extraordinaire Jane Cassady's weekly horoscopes run in this space every Friday morning.
Aries (March 21-April 18): Happy birthday to my dad, the standup comedian. May you be as sharp as Bill Hicks, as revolutionary as Jon Stewart, and far more emotionally healthy than Marc Maron.
Taurus (April 19-May 18): “You're talking to the pieces of a man who's trying to make it/ through the puzzles, travels, struggles, battles/ a body pillow pimp trying to snuggle with my shadow” (Felt). Of course, sweetheart, of course.
Gemini (May 19-June 21): To the Gemini browsing the art supply store with me, saying he misses drawing — so draw! Look at all these sketch pads, in every shape, size and texture. Look at all the pencils and markers and paint. Look at the glitter!
Devoted poet/avid concert-goer/nerd-grrrl extraordinaire Jane Cassady's weekly horoscopes run in this space every Friday morning.
Aries (March 21-April 18): It’s been so chilly out, it’s hard to see the little blue flowers, the blooming trees, the armies of narcissi on the median strips. But they’re there, sure as the sky is blue.
Taurus (April 19-May 18): "The eye of the storm is where I operate, I'm surrounded by chaos but I concentrate" (Brother Ali). Everybody’s been dreaming about waves, but in yours, there’s no drowning. Your breath is infallible, and your head always stays above the froth. It’s OK to pick up your feet off the sand.
Gemini (May 19-June 21): “Let me be universally true without having to be egotistically right. Let this piece find the me that I knew little about. Let the reader find the self they always wanted or was scared to know. Let this piece be a mirror that reflects YOU in us and US as kin folk” (Sherod Smallman, Prayer Before I Write). Pal, you are a faith millionaire, a glittering handful of true verbs. You’re right to drop your defenses. Go you.
Devoted poet/avid concert-goer/nerd-grrrl extraordinaire Jane Cassady's weekly horoscopes run in this space every Friday morning.
In honor of tarot poem mistress Marty McConnell: a Tarot-Tastic Horoscope
Aries (March 21-April 18): (Happy Birthday Month, Aries!) The High Priestess: Disentangle yourself from everything but your inner mermaids, they know what to do: live on bioluminescence and sea monkeys. Float and listen. Get fat off the sea.
Taurus (April 19-May 18): Six of Coins: Mindy Nettifee says, “There are some things you can’t write yourself out of.” Give it all away instead. Seal up your regrets in shiny envelopes and float them down spring gutters, fly them away like kites, shred them into slightly sinister-looking Easter grass. It’s a good way to be generous to yourself.
Gemini (May 19-June 21): Temperence: You’ve always been my favorite card, you and The Sun. You’re standing in clear water defying gravity pouring more water from one jar to the other. You balance everything good on your wings. But even serene expressions should be enjoyed in moderation. This week, be immoderate. Overspend on drinks, kisses, and time. The next day, you’ll still be a flowered field.
Devoted poet/avid concert-goer/nerd-grrrl extraordinaire Jane Cassady's weekly horoscopes run in this space every Friday morning (and sometimes Thursday afternoon).
Pisces (Feb. 20-March 20): “If you see something you love, you’ve just gotta get it, and eat it” (Shappy Seasholtz). This quote was inspired by coconut cream pie, but it can also be applied to your biggest, deepest meringue-cloud wishes. Get it. And eat it.
Aries (March 21-April 18): Sometimes I like to pretend that something is a big magical mystery for a while before I realize that I can just Google it. Research is magic, too. Know your true self by your search terms, or just look at pictures of kittens.
Taurus (April 19-May 18): “What we think about ourselves and our possibilities determines what we aspire to become" (Robert Frank). Add to your own thoughts the screams of your adoring fans, your mom and dad’s opinion on their best day, and, of course, the stars; we just think that you’re the bee’s knees.
Gemini (May 19-June 21): You’re in one of those dreams where you keep finding more and more rooms in your house — where did this extra parlor come from? Why is this ceiling painted like waves? What are these algorithms painted on the windows? Why won’t this top stop spinning?
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