TV

Win tickets to see Aqua Teen Hunger Force Live! -- WE HAVE A WINNER

POSTED: Thursday, May 6, 2010, 8:00 PM

Filed Under: TV

We've got two sets of tickets to go see Aqua Teen Hunger Force Live and we wanna give them to you! Meatwad, Carl and all your faves hit the stage Saturday night at the Troc for some weirdo Adult Swim-style goodness. Julia West has all the details in this week's Agenda section:

As if Aqua Teen Hunger Force couldn't get any weirder, the Adult Swim 'toon has stepped through the TV and made it to 3-D. After the live-action episode last May, creators Dana Snyder and Dave Willis decided to take the show on the road. The live version features everyone's favorite characters — minus Frylock because, according to their website, "He wanted too much money." But Shake and Meatwad will be there with Carl in all his hairy-shouldered grossness. Expect silly segments like "America's Next Top Meatwad." Admit it, you always wanted to hang with those foul-mouthed Jersey creatures. This is as close as you're going to get to wading in Carl's pool.

Philly's own Schoolly D wrote and performed the theme song (above) for Aqua Teen. Along with being credited as a gangsta rap forerunner, Schoolly's music has appeared in several Abel Ferrara movies, including the shoot-out in King of New York. But here's what we want to know: Congratulations Chelsey and Nick. Answer is below:

On the DVD extras of King of New York, Schoolly claims he invented what extreme winter sport?

Schoolly D claims he invented snowboarding by sliding down hills on the cardboard used to breakdance on.

The first two people to answer that question correctly by e-mailing molly [dot] eichel [at] citypaper [dot] net get two tickets to the show. All you have to do is pick up the tickets at our Old City offices. Remember, e-mail. Do not leave your answers in the comments.

Posted by Molly Eichel @ 8:00 PM Permalink | Post a comment

IDOL HANDS: American Idol, Play Him Out, Harry

POSTED: Thursday, May 6, 2010, 4:19 PM

Filed Under: TV Idol Hands

We like American Idol. Too much. Tommy Button: I totally wanna go on a bro-date with Harry Connick Jr. Charming, hilarious and Southern. And Mom would love him. Not so much with Lady Gaga, bro-date or date date. When I heard Lady Gaga's name mentioned I vomited in my mouth a little. But that's normal. Then she performed and I'm pretty sure I coughed up a little poop. No really, she was terrible and epitomized why I don't like her. The whole Jodorowsky-meets-a-gay(er)-Midsummer Night's Dream escape was super pretentious in a really stupid way. Not to mention, bad choreography. I'm no Bill T. Jones, but I know things about stuff. Molly Eichel: Look, I love LaGa but what in the name of shitty performance art was that? But what are you gonna do? The chick has a Rilke quote tattooed on her body. I bet she also has books filled with lowercased poetry. I liked it better when she was just wearing Kermits and people thought she had a dick. TB: I was surprised to see Big Mike in the bottom two.

ME: Me too. It's a shame, considering he was at the top of the pops on Tuesday. But Powersox in the bottom three instead of Casey James?! I didn't want to my fave poor man's Seger to get kicked off when the Punxsutawney Phil's humanoid cousin still in the running, but even Casey thought he was going down last night. TB: I wasn't surprised to see Aaron Kelly get the boot. Tough break, kid but like the man said "Sometimes you eat the bar, and, well, sometimes he eats you." But probably the biggest shocker of the night was American Idol actually fitting their show in a two hour time slot.

Posted by Molly Eichel @ 4:19 PM Permalink | Post a comment

IDOL HANDS: American Idol, Chairman of the Bored

POSTED: Wednesday, May 5, 2010, 8:30 PM

Filed Under: TV Idol Hands

We like American Idol. Too much. Tommy Button: Last night was lackluster compared to the previous week if you ask me and that's mostly because I think Ol' Blue Eyes is more on the boring side. Don't get me wrong, I admire Frank Sinatra for the snatch he slayed and his mastering of cool but unless I'm trying to bag an Italian cougar at San Gannero, I'm not gonna be rocking Frankie too often. Molly Eichel: I just don't get why they insist on doing these throwback shows and then bitch about how everyone seems out of their element. That's like encouraging that kitty to Hang in there baby! Then throwing rocks at it and bitching when it falls. It's just not right. Judges, stop throwing rocks at the cats. TB: That's not the biggest tragedy, though. That would be Nancy Sinatra, who looks like 250 pounds of wet clothes shoved into a garbage bag. Jesus. Dust off the boots and do some walking. ME: Don't knock my fave Sinatra. "Summer Wine" and "Sugar Town" are great songs! As charming as he was, if we're gonna make fun of one celeb, it's gotta be Harry Connick Jr. As one of the few people who saw New in Town, I think there was a collective "Who?" when HCJr's name was announced. TB: All I really have to base my opinion on HCJr is last night, Hope Floats and half of my mom's record collection but this jack of all trades is alright by me. ME: The same can't be said for Aaron Kelly. That was lightweight. Frank Sinatra wouldn't have let that boy wash his short pants after hearing his version of "In Other Words." TB: In other words, you suck. ME: Not as much as Casey James. God, even HCJr looked disappointed with that rendition of "Blue Skies." And when the guest judge looks unhappy, you know you are the dregs. TB: With Aaron Kelly in the mix, it looks like there's a tie for worst place this week ME: Continuing with the weather theme, Powersox sang "Summer Wind," and they complained she was losing herself. Do you remember my cat metaphor? How is the girl gonna retain her strong, female-empowering, soul-based identity when she's forced to sing songs from a guy who didn't think women should go to the moon because it didn't need vacuuming? TB: Of course, I love Powersox but she's starting to be a little annoying with her back talk. After a poor judging she tends to go off on this "Well, this is what I think..." rationalization trip. ME: Big Mike was the only person who sounded at all comfortable, singing "The Way You Look Tonight," but that's cheating because every wedding band singer in the world can do that. Still, he's got swagger, and Frank ejaculated swagger. TB: I thought BM was the best this week. ME: Here's the deal, I always remember what Big Mike and Crystal sing, sometimes Casey. I never, ever remember what Lee Dewyze sings. It doesn't matter how good he is. I never remember him. It's like actor Chris Evans. I think he's totally adorable and not half as bad as the shit he's normally in. But I can never remember his goddamn name. Yet, I can know the actor who played Chong Li in Bloodsport (Bolo Yeung). What does that say about Lee Dewyze? Very little. But still. TB: I dunno why everyone is still shitting their pants over this guy. Still boring. ME: That, my friends, is not swagger.

Posted by Molly Eichel @ 8:30 PM Permalink | Post a comment

TV Watch: Jimmy Smits pilot coming in cold at NBC? Screw Smits, we want Cole!

POSTED: Wednesday, May 5, 2010, 4:45 PM

Filed Under: TV


Smits	Cole

Ah, Pilot Pick-up Season! Truly the most wonderful time of the year. This is when studio execs start screening pilots and scheduling your fall-viewing. It's also the time when the boob tube biz really gets nasty and, if you pay close attention, you notice that pick-ups and what ultimately gets canceled to make way for new shows has more to do with the economics (is the production company in-house? Will the series get picked up overseas? Is the showrunner too expensive?) than actual creativity, sans the facade of artistry. At least the movie business likes to pretend it is propelled by artistic achievement (although, that doesn't explain Furry Vengeance); TV happily eschews such pretenses. Ace Hollywood biz bloggers Nikki Finke and Nellie Andreeva from Deadline.com have a full run of what's on tap for each studio this season, complete with anonymously sourced opinions of how each pilot is doing. Deadline's prognostications aren't 100 percent accurate (they are based on anonymous studio rumblings, after all), but their cheat sheet is a good indication of the new shows you'll be seeing. This isn't good news for Jimmy Smits and his Philly-shot NBC pilot Rough Justice, about a Supreme Court justice who leaves the hallowed halls to return to private practice. Here's what Andreeva and Finke say:

ROUGH JUSTICE: John Eisendrath's pilot is a legal drama starring Jimmy Smits from -- uh-oh -- Conan O'Brien's company. Gulp. "A little chilly". "Doesn't look good." But its chances improved a bit after Smits tested well.

So everybody loves Smits, but Rough Justice ain't feeling the love. Would NBC considering giving the show the boot because Conan O'Brien's name is attached to it? Probably. Oh god, I love television. While tongues have been wagging about RJ, from the description I gather that, if it gets picked up, it'll be one of those hour-long dramas geared at older people that will look vaguely promising but I'll ignore on the whole, like Monk or The Good Wife or various other shows on the air as an excuse to advertise Cialis. Speaking of Monk, I'd rather check out Gary Cole's new TBS show about a veteran Philly cop training his fuck-up nephew in Uncle Nigel, written and exec produced by the OCD PI's creator Andy Breckman. Yeah, I just shit on Monk, but Gary Cole — aka, Bill Lumbergh from Office Space — makes everything better. He just does slimy skeazewad so well. And who better to play a Philly cop? (Aww, c'mon guys, I kid, I kid.) There's no word yet on if the pilot's any good, but it's one of two cast-contingent pilots ordered up by TBS, who are looking better and better with the addition of Conan's new late night show. I may even forgive them for employing the hellish trifecta of George Lopez, Frank Caliendo and Bill Engvall. No, some sins can never be forgotten.

Rachel

Posted 2010-05-05 12:51:57

Why can't we have both?  Why diss Smits, who always "tests well" because he's a great actor and popular with viewers?  I like Cole, too, but I'd love to see both Smits and Cole.  And watch the age diss, too, buddy.

Posted by Molly Eichel @ 4:45 PM Permalink | Post a comment

MONDAY: Chuck fans gather to rally for the show NOW UPDATED

POSTED: Friday, April 30, 2010, 10:31 PM

Filed Under: TV

Chuck's Yvonne Strahovski, Zachary Levi and Adam Baldwin

Fans of the NBC television show Chuck are holding a flash mob (uh ... guys, maybe consider a name change) to show their support for the always-in-peril hour-long comedy about a tech guy at Best Buy-like megastore Buy More who accidently downloads a super computer into his brain and becomes a secret agent. The fansite chucktv.net reports they'll be holding this ... let's call it an enthusiastic gathering ... at the subway station at "400 Market Street," which we figure means the 5th and Market El stop UPDATE: They actually meant the Subway sandwich shop at 400 Market St. at 11:40 a.m. on Monday. Participants are asked to wear clothes that mirror the Buy More uniform, according to The Hollywood Reporter. Sign up here to participate. The location is a smart move, especially considering its proximity to the Fox studios, although I figure Philly as a location was chosen because it's the home base for new NBC owners Kabletown/Comcast. While Chuck isn't the smartest or the best show on television, it's totally adorable, thanks mostly to Zachary Levi who plays the title character, Adam Baldwin as Major Casey (you may remember him as Jane from Firefly) and a strong supporting cast. It's nerdy but fun and better than most crap I watch on TV. The show, from The O.C. creator Josh Schwartz, has been on the bubble for pick-up each year of its three-season run (although, I don't really understand why. Product placement on the show is nuts). Chuck fans are hardcore, though; last year, chucktv.net organized the "Footlong and Finale" movement, which encouraged viewers to buy a footlong hoagie from major show sponsor Subway. The gambit worked and Chuck was picked up for another season.

Posted by Molly Eichel @ 10:31 PM Permalink | Post a comment

Why Gregg Kravitz is totally queer

POSTED: Thursday, April 29, 2010, 9:26 PM

Filed Under: LGBTQ | TV

So, as those of you who, like me, tend to keep up only with the soapiest elements of the political scene are surely aware, much ado has lately been a-done about the professed sexual orientation of Gregg Kravitz, a democratic candidate for State Representative in the 182nd District of Pennsylvania (that's in Philly, y'all). A self-identified bisexual, Kravitz recently found himself under fire from his rival for the seat, incumbent Babette Josephs, who claimed that Kravitz's queer identity is a fabrication intended to capture the vote of the significant LGBTQ vote in the district. Predictably, the claim has been pored over across the blogosphere (nailed it!), with typing heads wondering if they're valid (who knows?), if the discussion is even in-bounds in a political arena (of course, everyone has a right to work the identity politics of their own identity), and whether or not his sexuality should be a factor to the voters in the LGBTQ community. Ultimately, his potential performance as a representative doesn't seem to rest much on whether or not he is bisexual. Allies of the LGBTQ community can do as much to support and further the interests of the community as card-carrying (there are cards now, right?) members if they're truly dedicated to the issues. What the stories to date have missed thus far is the truly subversive, even subliminal, pandering that Kravitz has been doing toward the community of which he may or may not be part. Behold:

Seems harmless enough, no? But say it out loud...

kravitz1

By missing this obvious hidden message in Kravitz's campaign materials, the media has not only missed a crucial piece of his play for the vote of the LGBTQ (well, mostly the GBQ parts) community, but they've overlooked a valuable piece of evidence as to the validity of Rep. Joseph's claims. Namely, that New Directions is the name of the glee club in Glee. If that reference is intentional it indicates a familiarity with the Fox program which is in turn a convincing piece of evidence that Mr. Kravitz is at least half gay, maybe more.

Class dismissed.

RELATED >> Equality Forum coverage

charlie

Posted 2010-04-29 16:36:45

Is it too early to dub this "Erectiongate"?

Posted by Admin @ 9:26 PM Permalink | Post a comment

GET GLEEKED: Win a copy of The Power of Madonna

POSTED: Thursday, April 29, 2010, 2:00 PM

Filed Under: Arts | TV

Aside from an offhand Nazi line that's gotten Duke fans all riled up, and the fact that Kristin Chenoweth is looking less and less like Glinda and more and more like Skeletor (h/t Brian Howard), Tuesday night's Glee was pretty decent. (I may or may not have squealed over Chenoweth's ballad-tastic rendition of "Home" from The Wiz, given how terrible the last version I heard was. Falsetto magic!) But my heart still belongs to last week's "The Power of Madonna" episode, in which Sue Sylvester stole the show (I'm talking about the cone boobs, but her "Vogue" rendition was pretty good, too). To celebrate, we've got a copy of The Music of Glee: The Power of Madonna to give away to one lucky reader. All you've gotta do is answer the following trivia question:

In Tuesday's episode, a diet-crazed Mercedes starts seeing visions of her classmates as junk food. Rachel was a cloyingly sweet cupcake, which makes sense; what food was Jesse?

E-mail your answers to carolyn.huckabay@citypaper.net for a chance to win. Glee!

Posted by Carolyn Huckabay @ 2:00 PM Permalink | Post a comment

IDOL HANDS: American Idol, 666: The Mark of the Beast

POSTED: Wednesday, April 28, 2010, 7:53 PM

Filed Under: Music | TV Idol Hands

We like American Idol. Too much. Unfortunately, Tommy Button is in rehearsal for his upcoming musical Half-Gay: The Tommy Button Story (working title: The Only Thing Not Gay About Me is My Attraction to Women) and couldn't make today's re-cap, so you're just going to have to put up with me. After weeks of wading in tepid waters, the Idols finally stepped it up by feelin' a little bit country with the music of Shania Twain, probably because Tim Urban wasn't around to make boils spontaneously pop up all over my body. I was a fan of Shania's mentoring, probably because she cougared it up with letdown John Park during auditions. In fitting fashion, she was wearing a blue sparkle cardigan considered formal wear in the condominiums of Boca Raton. But I do love Shania (even though I never knew how Canadian she really was, clearly lessening my opinion of her. Eh.). As she said, she lived these songs, she wrote these songs. And man, if you don't believe she feels like a motherfucking woman, that you can kiss her maple leaf emblazoned ass. Lee Dewyze turned down the schmuck a bit for slow-building "You're Still the One." He was epileplitcally shaky at first and the bigger he got, the more generic he sounded, but goddamnit if he's not a B101 hit waiting to happen. Seriously, your mom is gonna love him. Big Mike went back to the wheelhouse with "It Only Hurts When I'm Breathing." Something wrong with him? Why'd he start on the steps like that? He looked massive — Jabba the Hutt singing a shitty Broadway version of a mediocre song. The whole thing was overwrought, this style:

The judges were nursing a huge hard-on for Casey James' rendition of "Don't!" but I wasn't buying it. Like Tommy and I have said before and Ellen mentioned this week, Casey reminds me more and more of Bob Seger (Silver Bullet!) every week. Soon, Casey James will be soundtracking Ford comercials all over the place(no disrepect to the Seg. Dude's got a make living). But it never reached Seger-style passion, so I don't get why Kara thought he felt that he connected to the song. Probably hoping for a handy after the show. The four tops weren't feeling Powersox for the first time. But if Lee is B101, then Powersox is WXPN — safe and friendly and ripping the bong in between air time. To everyone who bitched that Baby Gaga Lilly Scott got kicked off the show too early, remember that this is the shit she was gonna pull every week. Also how cute was her BF's t-shirt?

Note to Powersox's paramore: Lock it down. Now. Aaron Kelly turned up the Eeeeew by signing "You've Got a Way" to his mom, rather than an intended lover. I'm feeling a little Groundhog Day with Aaron. I've seen him do this before. He's got a lot in common with Punxsutawney Phil: Both hail from the great state of Pennsylvania, both have tiny rodent-like features and both attract people who like to wear holiday-themed sweaters. But Aaron doesn't have Bill Murray. And if I learned anything from Charlie's Angels, it's that Bill Murray makes even the insufferable slightly tolerable (that, and Drew Barrymore's boobs). Siobhan Magnus has picked up this weird, pseudo-Arsenio hand motion that I'm not feeling mainly because I'm worried it's a message to her underlings to ready the spaceship. But I totally dug her version of "Any Man of Mine." Everyone else seemed to forget that Shania is pop star just as much as she's a country star. And what is American Idol without enough pop to give ya a toothache?

Tommy Button

Posted 2010-04-28 15:52:02

thanks for explaining my absence, molly. unfortunately, we're going through some serious re-writes of HALF-GAY. it turns out the "half" part may get cut and the story will focus mostly on aaron kelly.

SPEAKING OF....kara's comment about aaron's presumed virginity (im assuming she was talking about the 'p' in the 'v' kind of virginity) made me almost like her.  which was the opposite effect ellen's "twain" jokes. yes, ellen, it sounds like 'train' only with a lisp. other than that, i think everyone did a bang up job. and it's bout fuckin time.

anyway, i was pissed about not getting to blog so i hijacked the comments board. i think it like it better, anyway. you don't even have to think about grammar. not like i really do in the first place.

Lindsey

Posted 2010-04-28 17:51:01

Bob Seger was probably like "Oh, I'm already super badass and awesome. And now they want to use my song in a commercial? Normally I'd think that was lame, but I'm Bob motherfucking Seger and I'm gonna show everyone that you can still be a super badass and have your song in a commercial."

Bob Seger for life!!

Celine Dion

Posted 2010-04-28 19:06:42

Ok, so I was with you for everything except for the whole lessening your opinion of something cause it's Canadian. If Idol did an entire show dedicated to Rush, you'd think it was awesome. Would the fact they're Canadian change that? Uh, I don't think so.

Lindsey

Posted 2010-04-29 14:16:34

I'm pretty sure molly or tommy would not think a show dedicated to rush was awesome. the band or neil young, sure. but certainly not rush.

Lindsey

Posted 2010-04-30 14:38:29

oh, also, shiobhan, i've got your first album cover for you!

close up  of the side of her face holding her finger up like she is whispering (SHHH) and then just bhan.

genius!

Posted by Molly Eichel @ 7:53 PM Permalink | Post a comment

KALEIDOSCOPIC: Party Down

POSTED: Friday, April 23, 2010, 9:43 PM

Filed Under: Kaleidoscopic | TV

Staz

L-R: Martin Starr, Ryan Hansen, Lizzy Caplan, Adam Scott, Ken Marino, Jane Lynch

Look, I thought the same thing you're thinking right now when my TV soulmate Charlie told me to watch Party Down: "Um, gross. It's on Starz." But then he told me it was from the creator of my beloved Veronica Mars (Rob Thomas, no, not that one) and Hollywood's consummate nice guy (Paul Rudd) and some other guys who I don't care as much about. So I watched it. And, as it turns out, the comedy gods were good to Party Down. As I told you in this week's Kaleidoscope, the half-hour show centers on the titular LA catering company, headed up by recovering drug addict/royal fuck-up Ron Donald (Ken Marino, The State, Wet Hot American Summer). But our hero is Henry Pollard, an actor who worked at the company before he hit it big with a beer commercial that effectively ended his career. Henry begrudgingly returns to Party Down, all crisp white shirts and pink bow ties. The underrated Adam Scott (he of the dickwad bro in Step Brothers) adds nuance to Harry's otherwise straight man status. Scott recently did a Random Roles at The AV Club where he talks about Party Down's genesis as a Rudd-Steve Carrell vehicle, with Scott in a lesser part (it's a great interview, definitely recommend a read). Even with that talent, it's hard to believe anyone else in the ensemble cast. As good as Scott is as Henry, it's the ensemble cast — including Freaks and Geeks' Martin Starr, Mean Girls' Lizzy Caplan, Veronica Mars' Ryan Hansen and, of course, the great Jane Lynch — as Hollywoodland never wases. Like similar shows, Party Down mines awkwardness to great comedic effect (Marino's Ron is more stomach-inducing than Michael Scott at times), but there an underlying sadness to proceedings. Henry feels like a failure, and all he can do is watch every other loser around him lead lives that are ostensibly going nowhere. The most painful thing for Henry to accept, is not that his hopes and dreams were dashed, but that he's one of those losers too. The Office uses the Jim-Pam relationship as de facto depth, but Party Down's romantic leanings — in the form of Henry's relationship with Caplan's aspiring comedienne Casey — only serve to stop Henry from turning the shotgun on himself. It's not meant to demonstrate the maturation of characters (like the Halperts), it's just the prize at the end of the cereal box; one of those little things that makes life slightly less shitty. Still, without any malice, Casey keeps dropkicking Henry when he's down. It's refreshing that their love isn't central to the plot. Rather it's one tough question: When is it time to give up the idealized version of your life and settle on what you got? But nobody is happy with what they got. The show's constantly shifting format — each episode takes place during a different catering job — also allows for guest stars to pop in and out, including the great J.K. Simmons as a bile-spewing Hollywood exec trying to cast a movie about a vampire-hunting Edgar Allan Poe and his sidekick, Abe Lincoln, and Enrico Colantoni (that would be Keith, to Mars acolytes) as a bored suburban husband, who ruins his wife's garden party by cannon-balling into his pool, buck naked and dick a-swinging. The second season premieres tonight at 10 p.m. Lynch jumped ship for Glee at the end of last season, but her Sue Sylvester-sized shoes are competently filled by Megan Mullally as a quick-to-please divorcee with a daughter named, I shit you not, Escapade. Lucky for you, Starz has the first ep of the second season, along with a handful of clips, up on their site now. Enjoy it now while it lasts, though. Scott, Hansen and Caplan are all jumping ship next season for various other endeavors — Scott will become a reoccurring character on Crit Mass fave Parks & Recreation, while Caplan and Hansen were cast in network pilots. Ah Ponyboy, nothing gold can stay.

Posted by Molly Eichel @ 9:43 PM Permalink | Post a comment

PROJECT RUNWAY: Finale, All growed up

POSTED: Friday, April 23, 2010, 8:22 PM

Filed Under: TV ProjRun

New York Magazine

L-R: Seth Aaron, Mila, Emilio

It's finally over! Viewers rejoice! Don't get me wrong, here, I love the great ProjRun just as much as the next reality TV lover/fashionista/person with eyes, but this season was more than a little boring. It may be the fact that this was the seventh season and there just isn't anything new or exciting left to do on this show. Like fashion itself, it all just keeps repeating. The episode began with Seth Aaron introducing his line, citing the '40s Russian and German military as his inspiration. There was so much black and white it could have been mistaken for something Mila dreamed up. That is, of course, until you took a second to look closer. First off, there was red. And one purple dress, too! His showcase piece — the red wool dress — was gorgeous with the perfectly constructed pleats on the shoulders and darts at the waist. There was black leather detail, belted at the model's center, and running vertically from waist to neck. Suddenly, Seth Aaron has grown up and moved away from the goth/punk/whatever fashion found in malls across America. In his months working at home, the man started designing like, well, a man, and no longer like a hobbyist. What he had been making before was for edgy young girls on, say, the streets of Williamsburg or LA. His new collection is for adults — still edgy and even more fashion forward. There's still black leather, bulky jewelry (or "hardware"), plaid and Beetlejuice tights. You could see Seth Aaron's signature look, but it wasn't redundant, it wasn't the same old thing we've been seeing. Emilio's collection was also unexpected. He went very sportswear-y and made a collection that, as the judges pointed out, proved that he was commercial and marketable. His "Color Me Bad" collection was rife with color, clearly. There was a wearable but dull red dress, a wonderfully-tailored azure blue jacket and the E. Sosa cammo fabric used in a few pieces. The final dress to come down the runway was obviously meant to be a showstopper. It was metallic gold and floor length, looking like liquid, only lighter. It was so beautiful it could make you weep. When Mila, moron to end all morons, went up to introduce her collection she said, "I was inspired by shadows." Right here I could insert some cranky comment about how asinine this woman is, or how ridiculous she is with her dark brooding nature, but I won't. She said she was inspired by shadows, and I think that that's insulting enough. Her collection was a huge shock: color everywhere. There were brilliant blues and shimmering turquoise and rich, deep blood oranges. No, I'm totally kidding. She was inspired by shadows, remember? There was no color, which is just what we saw last week from her. Oh, and every week for the past 14 weeks. There was black, there was grey, there was white. Ooohhh. Shadows. Spooky. During the judging Heidi brought up an astute point: What are we judging them on? Their commercial appeal? Willingness to learn? Are they being judged on simply the Fashion Week collection or the entire season? I don't think the answer was ever made clear. It was evident, though, that Mila's work just wasn't good enough, and the moment we've all been waiting for came upon us at last: Heidi said Auf Wiedersehen to the color blocking queen. Who cares how it actually ends, now? Mila's gone. I could have turned the TV off right then and there. But out of curiosity I decided to see who won the whole shebang. Who could it be? Sophisticated mall punk or the dude who names his collection "Color Me Bad." In the end, it was Seth Aaron jumping up and down and crying. Emilio, that salty little bitch, couldn't even pretend to be happy for his friend. He was a sad, mopey mess. Then he quoted dear Anthony and said, "You don't have to have the crown to be the king." Anthony said "queen," you ass. Emilio can't do anything right. Seth Aaron's dedication brought him to ProjRun, and his talent landed him at Bryant Park. But I believe it was wise old Tim Gunn on Seth Aaron's trampoline that — like rubbing the belly of the Buddha — brought him a world of good luck.

Posted by Julia West @ 8:22 PM Permalink | Post a comment

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Featuring everything from event roundups to concert reviews and sex talk, City Paper's Critical Mass is a space for off-the-wall coverage of Philly's A&E scene.

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